Signs of misogyny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a widow who has recently gone back out into the dating world at 39. It’s very different from when I was dating pre-marriage in my early. I guess I’m pry because most of the good guys are now taken.

A surprising issue I’m running into when being back on the market is blatant misogyny. I go on dates a men rant about “all women this, all women that…”. It’s a turn off. I’m not sure if it’s because they are the leftover guys or because maybe something culturally shifted while I was married? I want to avoid these kind of guys. What should I be on the lookout for?

I'm in a similar spot, although older than 39, and I've only gone on a few dates. I agree with most of the above - there's the Joe Rogan / Trump factor, and also the fact that the men (I'm assuming they're similarly aged to you or older) have been through their own heartaches. I wouldn't necessarily rule out "all women" comments; I have sons, one of whom is a strong feminist ally, and they make "all women" statements sometimes. Mostly to annoy me, but some of it is just their male-dominant world. I would pay most attention to how your dates talk about their mothers, sisters, female co-workers, and exes.

Newsflash: your feminist ally son is just trying to get laid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a widow who has recently gone back out into the dating world at 39. It’s very different from when I was dating pre-marriage in my early. I guess I’m pry because most of the good guys are now taken.

A surprising issue I’m running into when being back on the market is blatant misogyny. I go on dates a men rant about “all women this, all women that…”. It’s a turn off. I’m not sure if it’s because they are the leftover guys or because maybe something culturally shifted while I was married? I want to avoid these kind of guys. What should I be on the lookout for?

I'm in a similar spot, although older than 39, and I've only gone on a few dates. I agree with most of the above - there's the Joe Rogan / Trump factor, and also the fact that the men (I'm assuming they're similarly aged to you or older) have been through their own heartaches. I wouldn't necessarily rule out "all women" comments; I have sons, one of whom is a strong feminist ally, and they make "all women" statements sometimes. Mostly to annoy me, but some of it is just their male-dominant world. I would pay most attention to how your dates talk about their mothers, sisters, female co-workers, and exes.

Newsflash: your feminist ally son is just trying to get laid.

Well, it's working then, because he has an amazing, accomplished GF! My point is that context and how they speak about specific women are important data points.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a widow who has recently gone back out into the dating world at 39. It’s very different from when I was dating pre-marriage in my early. I guess I’m pry because most of the good guys are now taken.

A surprising issue I’m running into when being back on the market is blatant misogyny. I go on dates a men rant about “all women this, all women that…”. It’s a turn off. I’m not sure if it’s because they are the leftover guys or because maybe something culturally shifted while I was married? I want to avoid these kind of guys. What should I be on the lookout for?

There's more of this if you use the apps. Avoid the apps.

If you avoid the apps, then how do you meet people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a widow who has recently gone back out into the dating world at 39. It’s very different from when I was dating pre-marriage in my early. I guess I’m pry because most of the good guys are now taken.

A surprising issue I’m running into when being back on the market is blatant misogyny. I go on dates a men rant about “all women this, all women that…”. It’s a turn off. I’m not sure if it’s because they are the leftover guys or because maybe something culturally shifted while I was married? I want to avoid these kind of guys. What should I be on the lookout for?

Joe Rogan and his ilk happened since you were married. And Trump happened. Both of these things have brought a lot of misogyny to the surface.

It sounds to me like you're doing the right thing and these guys do you a favor by self-identifying. I suppose you could look for clues in their profiles -- avoid anyone posing with a fish or a tiger, for example. Anyone overtly right-wing political (although ironically there is a subset of progressive men who might present as feminist but actually harbor deeply misogynistic views when push comes to shove).

And not to be all "not all men" but it really isn't all men.

You'll have to weed out the bad ones.

It does suck.

Have you ever listened to Joe Rogan?

OP, just immediately stop talking to anyone who says things like this. Cease all contact immediately and move on to the next one.

Joe Rogan is a shitstain on masculinity.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/joe-rogan-angelina-jolie-spotify-b2010699.html

https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/joe-rogan-spotify-know-there-s-audience-his-racist-sexist-n1288827

https://www.newsweek.com/joe-rogan-defends-andrew-tate-social-media-ban-1740123 (note -- the URL is misleading. He defended Andrew Tate's MESSAGING, not the ban).

https://www.foxnews.com/media/joe-rogan-explains-women-want-provider-taylor-swift-not-going-marry-bartender

Honestly, the loser should go back to making dudes eat bugs or some shit like that. What a waste of bandwidth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A subtle one to watch for is what he says about his mother.

Same goes for a woman and what she says about her father.

If they have some sort of a long troubled or conflicted relationship then I'd keep an ear open to that.

Agree. Watch for what he says about his mother, sisters, past dates, etc… any negativity is a huge red flag (ask me how I know).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a widow who has recently gone back out into the dating world at 39. It’s very different from when I was dating pre-marriage in my early. I guess I’m pry because most of the good guys are now taken.

A surprising issue I’m running into when being back on the market is blatant misogyny. I go on dates a men rant about “all women this, all women that…”. It’s a turn off. I’m not sure if it’s because they are the leftover guys or because maybe something culturally shifted while I was married? I want to avoid these kind of guys. What should I be on the lookout for?

I'm in a similar spot, although older than 39, and I've only gone on a few dates. I agree with most of the above - there's the Joe Rogan / Trump factor, and also the fact that the men (I'm assuming they're similarly aged to you or older) have been through their own heartaches. I wouldn't necessarily rule out "all women" comments; I have sons, one of whom is a strong feminist ally, and they make "all women" statements sometimes. Mostly to annoy me, but some of it is just their male-dominant world. I would pay most attention to how your dates talk about their mothers, sisters, female co-workers, and exes.

Newsflash: your feminist ally son is just trying to get laid.

Well, it's working then, because he has an amazing, accomplished GF! My point is that context and how they speak about specific women are important data points.

Well, then, I salute him and his pu$$y hat wearing ilk. He may be ball-less, but at least he is scoring.

[Anonymous]

Most of the good ones are taken, or they don't need to be on the apps/OLD. If there is a good way to avoid it, I don't know what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a widow who has recently gone back out into the dating world at 39. It’s very different from when I was dating pre-marriage in my early. I guess I’m pry because most of the good guys are now taken.

A surprising issue I’m running into when being back on the market is blatant misogyny. I go on dates a men rant about “all women this, all women that…”. It’s a turn off. I’m not sure if it’s because they are the leftover guys or because maybe something culturally shifted while I was married? I want to avoid these kind of guys. What should I be on the lookout for?

There's more of this if you use the apps. Avoid the apps.

If you avoid the apps, then how do you meet people?

Leave your house? DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a widow who has recently gone back out into the dating world at 39. It’s very different from when I was dating pre-marriage in my early. I guess I’m pry because most of the good guys are now taken.

A surprising issue I’m running into when being back on the market is blatant misogyny. I go on dates a men rant about “all women this, all women that…”. It’s a turn off. I’m not sure if it’s because they are the leftover guys or because maybe something culturally shifted while I was married? I want to avoid these kind of guys. What should I be on the lookout for?

About every other thread in every forum on DCUM is "all me this and all men that". Seems to be a battle of the sexes here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the good ones are taken, or they don't need to be on the apps/OLD. If there is a good way to avoid it, I don't know what it is.

One could say the exact same things about women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe date other women instead?

Honestly, it’s becoming more common for middle age women post divorce to come out as bi and date other women. I sort of get it. I lucked out finding a good guy the first go round, but if I somehow got stuck with the dregs of men I would be open to other ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a widow who has recently gone back out into the dating world at 39. It’s very different from when I was dating pre-marriage in my early. I guess I’m pry because most of the good guys are now taken.

A surprising issue I’m running into when being back on the market is blatant misogyny. I go on dates a men rant about “all women this, all women that…”. It’s a turn off. I’m not sure if it’s because they are the leftover guys or because maybe something culturally shifted while I was married? I want to avoid these kind of guys. What should I be on the lookout for?

About every other thread in every forum on DCUM is "all me this and all men that". Seems to be a battle of the sexes here.

What does any of this have to do with the OP’s question?

[Anonymous]

Talks over you, doesn't listen to your thought or opinions, refused to take any advice or suggestions from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a widow who has recently gone back out into the dating world at 39. It’s very different from when I was dating pre-marriage in my early. I guess I’m pry because most of the good guys are now taken.

A surprising issue I’m running into when being back on the market is blatant misogyny. I go on dates a men rant about “all women this, all women that…”. It’s a turn off. I’m not sure if it’s because they are the leftover guys or because maybe something culturally shifted while I was married? I want to avoid these kind of guys. What should I be on the lookout for?

Joe Rogan and his ilk happened since you were married. And Trump happened. Both of these things have brought a lot of misogyny to the surface.

It sounds to me like you're doing the right thing and these guys do you a favor by self-identifying. I suppose you could look for clues in their profiles -- avoid anyone posing with a fish or a tiger, for example. Anyone overtly right-wing political (although ironically there is a subset of progressive men who might present as feminist but actually harbor deeply misogynistic views when push comes to shove).

And not to be all "not all men" but it really isn't all men.

You'll have to weed out the bad ones.

It does suck.

Have you ever listened to Joe Rogan?

OP, just immediately stop talking to anyone who says things like this. Cease all contact immediately and move on to the next one.

Joe Rogan is a shitstain on masculinity.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/joe-rogan-angelina-jolie-spotify-b2010699.html

https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/joe-rogan-spotify-know-there-s-audience-his-racist-sexist-n1288827

https://www.newsweek.com/joe-rogan-defends-andrew-tate-social-media-ban-1740123 (note -- the URL is misleading. He defended Andrew Tate's MESSAGING, not the ban).

https://www.foxnews.com/media/joe-rogan-explains-women-want-provider-taylor-swift-not-going-marry-bartender

Honestly, the loser should go back to making dudes eat bugs or some shit like that. What a waste of bandwidth.

Oh wow, offensive comments about Lauren Sanchez, unbelievable. there are ~50 pages of sexist comments about her on this very forum, 99.9% made by women.

[Anonymous]

"It’s not reasonable to assume most good partners are snatched up by middle age? She didn’t say all, just most. I’m sure this goes both ways but OP is dating men, so that’s who she referenced."

Maybe the majority of "good partners" are currently in a partnership by 45, but there are plenty of divorced people who are still good partners even if their first marriages didn't end at someone's deathbed. Sure, some of these divorced men cheated on their wives or did other destructive things and learned nothing from the experience. But lots of them have a lot of great things to offer. Personally, I wouldn't get involved with a man over the age of 40 who was never married unless there was some really unusual circumstance like his fiancée was hit by a bus on the way to the altar and it took him a long time to get over it.