| *I guess it’s because most of the good guys are taken |
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A subtle one to watch for is what he says about his mother.
Same goes for a woman and what she says about her father. If they have some sort of a long troubled or conflicted relationship then I'd keep an ear open to that. |
You make your complaint about men complaining which is synonymous with your "most of the good guys are now taken" complaint. Okay.
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| After a year on OLD most men will hate women. |
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Honestly it doesn’t seem like you’re ready to date. You’ve already convinced yourself that all the good guys are taken (they’re not) and that what’s left out there are the leftovers that no one wants. Why don’t you just focus on yourself until you can be more open minded about the overall dating experience.
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It’s not reasonable to assume most good partners are snatched up by middle age? She didn’t say all, just most. I’m sure this goes both ways but OP is dating men, so that’s who she referenced. |
Joe Rogan and his ilk happened since you were married. And Trump happened. Both of these things have brought a lot of misogyny to the surface. It sounds to me like you're doing the right thing and these guys do you a favor by self-identifying. I suppose you could look for clues in their profiles -- avoid anyone posing with a fish or a tiger, for example. Anyone overtly right-wing political (although ironically there is a subset of progressive men who might present as feminist but actually harbor deeply misogynistic views when push comes to shove). And not to be all "not all men" but it really isn't all men. You'll have to weed out the bad ones. It does suck. |
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Most good guys are taken fairly early on.
I wish you good luck! Maybe try more conventional connections like through church or friends. |
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There is no end to the men are all.... posts on dating and relationship subreddits. I left them as the whole subs were just general complaints and why do men do... why can't men be... whey do men have to have...
Those subs tend to have mostly female posters but I am not surprised you have also come across the opposite too. People tend to get jaded and generalize. Just like you did that 'men' are misogynistic and all saying women all.. comments. |
Have you ever listened to Joe Rogan? OP, just immediately stop talking to anyone who says things like this. Cease all contact immediately and move on to the next one. |
NP I did for a bit just like i listened to Rush Limbaugh to figure out what was going on ... both are just shock jocks feeding hate and misogamy. It sells. |
There's some truth to this, too, OP. From the man's POV OLD is filled with gold diggers and women still hung up on their exes. And a lot of the women don't look like their profiles (they're usually much fatter). You're chasing a unicorn. But so are they. |
SHE self identified
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I'm in a similar spot, although older than 39, and I've only gone on a few dates. I agree with most of the above - there's the Joe Rogan / Trump factor, and also the fact that the men (I'm assuming they're similarly aged to you or older) have been through their own heartaches. I wouldn't necessarily rule out "all women" comments; I have sons, one of whom is a strong feminist ally, and they make "all women" statements sometimes. Mostly to annoy me, but some of it is just their male-dominant world. I would pay most attention to how your dates talk about their mothers, sisters, female co-workers, and exes. |
Oh dear God - there we go with “partner” again. Are you starting a law firm or a relationship? |