How to ask Nanny if she'd be willing to go part time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with all the others. This is cutting off your nose to save money on your facelift.

Keep paying her FT. Use her hours for date nights, back to school nights, all the random school holidays, sick-but-not-super-sick days, etc. You could also have a conversation about her using some of her child-free time to return things at Target, pick up groceries, find a purple shirt for Purple Shirt Day at school tomorrow, etc. — all the errands that suck out my will to live.

Do not ask her to clean your house.

That's not really fair, unless it's agreed upon that the nanny's schedule will change to include night hours each week on a specific day.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Just to clarify, I never expect her to live on part time hours and pay. I would help her find another family who needed mornings and see if she could still come to us in the afternoon.

I hear all the comments about wanting her when the baby is here. But I typically don’t have a nanny even touch the baby the whole time I’m on mat leave. That is my bonding time with the new baby and my responsibility, being off work. The day I go back to work is the day the nanny cares for that baby for the first time. This is what I did with my second.

Part of me hopes I won’t go back to my job after my mat leave. I would love to scale back part time then too. But I just don’t know how I’ll feel then. Another reason I am hesitant to shell out $1000+ a week, even though we do love her.

I just don’t know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just to clarify, I never expect her to live on part time hours and pay. I would help her find another family who needed mornings and see if she could still come to us in the afternoon.

I hear all the comments about wanting her when the baby is here. But I typically don’t have a nanny even touch the baby the whole time I’m on mat leave. That is my bonding time with the new baby and my responsibility, being off work. The day I go back to work is the day the nanny cares for that baby for the first time. This is what I did with my second.

Part of me hopes I won’t go back to my job after my mat leave. I would love to scale back part time then too. But I just don’t know how I’ll feel then. Another reason I am hesitant to shell out $1000+ a week, even though we do love her.

I just don’t know what to do.

That’s going to be difficult with the hours you want.

[Anonymous]

You can obviously afford it so you need to find a way to justify it in your head. If you want to keep the nanny keep her FT. It might be nice to trade off the older kids/baby when you are on maternity leave. Take advantage of that and not having to take all of them everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just to clarify, I never expect her to live on part time hours and pay. I would help her find another family who needed mornings and see if she could still come to us in the afternoon.

I hear all the comments about wanting her when the baby is here. But I typically don’t have a nanny even touch the baby the whole time I’m on mat leave. That is my bonding time with the new baby and my responsibility, being off work. The day I go back to work is the day the nanny cares for that baby for the first time. This is what I did with my second.

Part of me hopes I won’t go back to my job after my mat leave. I would love to scale back part time then too. But I just don’t know how I’ll feel then. Another reason I am hesitant to shell out $1000+ a week, even though we do love her.

I just don’t know what to do.

Taking a couple hours a day for yourself and letting Nanny watch the baby is not going to ruin your bonding time. We adopted DD at 30 days and bonded with her just fine. If you let the nanny have the baby in the afternoons a couple afternoons a week too you can bond and connect with the older kids after they’ve been at school all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just to clarify, I never expect her to live on part time hours and pay. I would help her find another family who needed mornings and see if she could still come to us in the afternoon.

I hear all the comments about wanting her when the baby is here. But I typically don’t have a nanny even touch the baby the whole time I’m on mat leave. That is my bonding time with the new baby and my responsibility, being off work. The day I go back to work is the day the nanny cares for that baby for the first time. This is what I did with my second.

Part of me hopes I won’t go back to my job after my mat leave. I would love to scale back part time then too. But I just don’t know how I’ll feel then. Another reason I am hesitant to shell out $1000+ a week, even though we do love her.

I just don’t know what to do.

That’s going to be difficult with the hours you want.

+1. What we're trying to tell you is that what you want is not really possible. You really have two options 1) continue to employ your nanny full time so you will have her care when you have your third; or 2) you can let her go and find another full-time nanny in the spring, if you decide to go that route, which from your update about scaling back at work makes it unclear if you will.

If your kids are school-age, can they do aftercare instead of a nanny after school? Maybe I missed it but I'm unclear how old your kids will be next school year (5?).

[Anonymous]

Lol I wish you luck on your journey to Mom of 3 OP. Sounds like it's going to be rough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just to clarify, I never expect her to live on part time hours and pay. I would help her find another family who needed mornings and see if she could still come to us in the afternoon.

I hear all the comments about wanting her when the baby is here. But I typically don’t have a nanny even touch the baby the whole time I’m on mat leave. That is my bonding time with the new baby and my responsibility, being off work. The day I go back to work is the day the nanny cares for that baby for the first time. This is what I did with my second.

Part of me hopes I won’t go back to my job after my mat leave. I would love to scale back part time then too. But I just don’t know how I’ll feel then. Another reason I am hesitant to shell out $1000+ a week, even though we do love her.

I just don’t know what to do.

That’s going to be difficult with the hours you want.

I agree. There really aren't that many families out there that need morning only hours. Also, your nanny will need that family to live close (enough) to you and need hours that end right before your hours start---your nanny won't want to have a 2 hour gap between her morning job and your job where she's just hanging out not getting paid, but also not really have enough time to do anything productive or go home.

[Anonymous]

Any family that takes your nanny for morning hours probably has a newborn first child - and then they’re likely to poach her for FT after a couple months as that kid ages and they aim to probably have a second. I’ve seen many families lose their excellent Nannies that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I hear all the comments about wanting her when the baby is here. But I typically don’t have a nanny even touch the baby the whole time I’m on mat leave. That is my bonding time with the new baby and my responsibility, being off work. The day I go back to work is the day the nanny cares for that baby for the first time. This is what I did with my second.

You love your nanny but don’t want her to bond with the newborn? Our nanny met our second baby before any relatives or friends did. She stayed 24/7 with our 2 year old for 4 days while I was in the hospital for the c-section and brought our daughter to meet the baby. It made me happy to see our nanny cooing over the newborn. The first 2 months, she’d hold him so I could shower or nap. Then the next 2 months, she cared for him while I ran errands, did something special with my older kid, or went for a walk in the woods by myself. It was wonderful for my mental health. It helped get us all adjusted so that my return to work was less stressful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’d be nuts to let this nanny go with a third child on the way. Find a way to afford her full-time and you can spend more time with your older two or work on home projects during your mat leave.

This. You’re being penny wise pound foolish

You’ll pay tremendously when you’re looking for a new nanny for your third.

[Anonymous]

I would 100% keep her on full time. I would never give up a trusted nanny if there was a chance I would need her in the future.

[Anonymous]

Is your maternity leave paid leave? Then yes, keep nanny.

Can you cut out a few vacations and dining out and comfortably pay nanny’s salary? Then yes, keep nanny.

Will paying nanny FT throughout leave you unable to pay your mortgage / utility bills? Then no, put your kids in daycare.

Some posters are calling you cheap but if you are literally financially strapped, it’s of course not a good idea to keep the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your maternity leave paid leave? Then yes, keep nanny.

Can you cut out a few vacations and dining out and comfortably pay nanny’s salary? Then yes, keep nanny.

Will paying nanny FT throughout leave you unable to pay your mortgage / utility bills? Then no, put your kids in daycare.

Some posters are calling you cheap but if you are literally financially strapped, it’s of course not a good idea to keep the nanny.

OP never said she couldn't afford it, just that she "can't justify" it. She seems to think she'll have no problem paying for it in a year, since she wants the nanny to come back to her full time in the spring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your maternity leave paid leave? Then yes, keep nanny.

Can you cut out a few vacations and dining out and comfortably pay nanny’s salary? Then yes, keep nanny.

Will paying nanny FT throughout leave you unable to pay your mortgage / utility bills? Then no, put your kids in daycare.

Some posters are calling you cheap but if you are literally financially strapped, it’s of course not a good idea to keep the nanny.

OP never said she couldn't afford it, just that she "can't justify" it. She seems to think she'll have no problem paying for it in a year, since she wants the nanny to come back to her full time in the spring.

OP again. It’s not just the money, it’s that I will not need all of that childcare. My kids will be in school from 8-2 M-F, and I will be completely off work with one newborn. What in the world will she do all day in my house? Meanwhile I will be boobs out, nursing, napping, etc. People suggest having her shop or run errands, but I enjoy going to the grocery store and cooking — it’s often the only real task you have each day while on Mat leave, and it’s nice to get out with the baby for an errand.

I concede it would be nice to have her do drop off and pick up, and I do worry about having all three kids from 2 til bedtime when I’m postpartum and adjusting to life with three. But besides the beginning and end of the day, I just don’t know what she’d do all day, and meanwhile I’d be paying a ton of money for care I don’t need.