Married here always contemplating divorce

[Anonymous]

Divorced woman here. I love dating, but I have no interest in getting remarried. I filed for divorce. Husband didn't want it, but he cheated, so I fell out of love. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with someone I didn't love. I'd rather be alone than have to make concessions for someone I don't love

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For women the pinnacle of their life is their wedding day. It's all downhill from there.

Goal 1 marriage
Goal 2 kids
Goal 3 me me me me me

Unfortunately in that "me" phase many men fail to see the signals that she is sending. The thing "some" men sadly think that once they are married and have kids thats it. These men completely forget that with women you MUST show her love, passion, care from time to time not always but don't neglect it. Men do not need the same kind of care, but women do. And on my opinion that's where many marriages break down. If she spends hours getting ready and putt a beautiful dress on and you neglect or forget to compliment her she won't say anything to you at that moment but that moment will go into the "basket of issues" about you. Once that basket is full she will dump it and you along with it. You must take care of your wife the same way you treat a puppy otherwise she is gone. I think if men realize this they won't sign up for marriage in my opinion.

Sooo far off the msrk..hours getting ready ???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For women the pinnacle of their life is their wedding day. It's all downhill from there.

Goal 1 marriage
Goal 2 kids
Goal 3 me me me me me

Unfortunately in that "me" phase many men fail to see the signals that she is sending. The thing "some" men sadly think that once they are married and have kids thats it. These men completely forget that with women you MUST show her love, passion, care from time to time not always but don't neglect it. Men do not need the same kind of care, but women do. And on my opinion that's where many marriages break down. If she spends hours getting ready and putt a beautiful dress on and you neglect or forget to compliment her she won't say anything to you at that moment but that moment will go into the "basket of issues" about you. Once that basket is full she will dump it and you along with it. You must take care of your wife the same way you treat a puppy otherwise she is gone. I think if men realize this they won't sign up for marriage in my opinion.

I think this is fair. I mean, everyone wants this. If your kid spends hours building a lego set and you neglect or fail to complement him, it’s going to go into a “basket of issues.”
If you can’t do that, then you shouldn’t sign up for marriage and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For women the pinnacle of their life is their wedding day. It's all downhill from there.

Goal 1 marriage
Goal 2 kids
Goal 3 me me me me me

Unfortunately in that "me" phase many men fail to see the signals that she is sending. The thing "some" men sadly think that once they are married and have kids thats it. These men completely forget that with women you MUST show her love, passion, care from time to time not always but don't neglect it. Men do not need the same kind of care, but women do. And on my opinion that's where many marriages break down. If she spends hours getting ready and putt a beautiful dress on and you neglect or forget to compliment her she won't say anything to you at that moment but that moment will go into the "basket of issues" about you. Once that basket is full she will dump it and you along with it. You must take care of your wife the same way you treat a puppy otherwise she is gone. I think if men realize this they won't sign up for marriage in my opinion.

I think you might need to examine your own “basket of issues.” Being able to recognize your issues is one step closer to resolving them. Ignoring them and saying that you don’t need love or care from anyone is going to make you toxic to everyone in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is worth it for women that’s why.

This is really all you need to know. It's a good deal for women, so they take it. Not really that much more to it.

It’s a good deal because they get rid of lazy deadweight spouses.

If you think you’re saying it’s a good deal because they get old fashioned alimony, that’s rare too, plus has nothing to do with dating in the future. So false claim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If we are going to contrast how women feel about marriage and divorce with how men feel about marriage and divorce, can you tell us how men feel about it?
People keep bringing up men who are divorced and then explaining these men’s wives motivations. How do the men feel about it? Are they glad for the divorce? Do they wish they had done things differently?

They don’t think nor talk much about it.s they bury it just like everything else they fail to process or discuss and just go right on to repeat history with the next woman. Head in sand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If we are going to contrast how women feel about marriage and divorce with how men feel about marriage and divorce, can you tell us how men feel about it?
People keep bringing up men who are divorced and then explaining these men’s wives motivations. How do the men feel about it? Are they glad for the divorce? Do they wish they had done things differently?

I recently divorced. At first I didn't agree with it. I asked my ex for us to try to patch things up. We tried therapy and it didn't work. 1 year post divorce I wished she had (or I) filed for divorce earlier. After being single for a year I am realizing how difficult it was living with my ex. And I am sure she feels the same. To be more specific the issue I had with my ex was that she constantly comparing us to other couples. I do not know if she was suffering from mental illness but it became an obsession of hers.

Provide some examples of the comparisons. That will inform us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For women the pinnacle of their life is their wedding day. It's all downhill from there.

Goal 1 marriage
Goal 2 kids
Goal 3 me me me me me

Unfortunately in that "me" phase many men fail to see the signals that she is sending. The thing "some" men sadly think that once they are married and have kids thats it. These men completely forget that with women you MUST show her love, passion, care from time to time not always but don't neglect it. Men do not need the same kind of care, but women do. And on my opinion that's where many marriages break down. If she spends hours getting ready and putt a beautiful dress on and you neglect or forget to compliment her she won't say anything to you at that moment but that moment will go into the "basket of issues" about you. Once that basket is full she will dump it and you along with it. You must take care of your wife the same way you treat a puppy otherwise she is gone. I think if men realize this they won't sign up for marriage in my opinion.

Lol.

Yeah, it’s the women, mothers and wives always putting themselves first and going about their marriage and child raising like they’re still single and only working.

lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not me. If I actually divorced, I 100% would not marry or live with a man ever again. Ever. Someone to date and do things with, maybe sleep over here and there? Sure. I don’t hate men at all, but I think marriage is overrated and doesn’t benefit most women much.

I agree 10000% and it does not benefit men either.

Exactly.

They don’t benefit from the free quality childcare, free housekeeping and mgmt, free grocery shopping and cooking, free schedule planning, free health mgmt now free social planning.

They can do that all themselves for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not me. If I actually divorced, I 100% would not marry or live with a man ever again. Ever. Someone to date and do things with, maybe sleep over here and there? Sure. I don’t hate men at all, but I think marriage is overrated and doesn’t benefit most women much.

I agree 10000% and it does not benefit men either.

Exactly.

They don’t benefit from the free quality childcare, free housekeeping and mgmt, free grocery shopping and cooking, free schedule planning, free health mgmt now free social planning.

They can do that all themselves for their kids.

Maybe you are talking about your dad....It may not be 50/50 today but please don't assume husbands today are sitting around while you cook, clean, manage the house, and perhaps bathe him later...give me a break

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not me. If I actually divorced, I 100% would not marry or live with a man ever again. Ever. Someone to date and do things with, maybe sleep over here and there? Sure. I don’t hate men at all, but I think marriage is overrated and doesn’t benefit most women much.

I agree 10000% and it does not benefit men either.

Exactly.

They don’t benefit from the free quality childcare, free housekeeping and mgmt, free grocery shopping and cooking, free schedule planning, free health mgmt now free social planning.

They can do that all themselves for their kids.

Maybe you are talking about your dad....It may not be 50/50 today but please don't assume husbands today are sitting around while you cook, clean, manage the house, and perhaps bathe him later...give me a break

What are they doing? That stuff or Disney dad stuff and splashing around in the hot tub all night with the kids and missing bedtime?

[Anonymous]

Women are always monkey-branching. They never stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder the same thing. Leaving a marriage just to find a new guy is crazy. You’re just exchanging one problem for the same problem???

I’m divorced. I got rid of one man why the hell would I want another?

I actually don’t know any divorced women who want to get remarried so I don’t know who you’re meeting. I suspect the women you know don’t work or have low-paying careers, which is why they want to get married again—because they can’t afford their life alone.

[Anonymous]

I see women in 2 camps:

1) ones that never want to date or marry again;

2) ones that go wild

I was somewhere in between. I didn't go wild at all but I did try dating. I'm in a monogamous relationship at the moment but not sure where it's headed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is worth it for women that’s why.

Female marriage vows might as well be printed on toilet paper