Married here always contemplating divorce

[Anonymous]

Some married women complain about their husbands a lot and constantly think about divorcing him. These women also tend to talk about men in a general sense as if all men were like their husbands. Yet these same women are eager to re-join the dating scene as soon as they are divorced perhaps because they are scared to be alone or are still looking for that elusive perfect husband. I am just confused about what they want.

[Anonymous]

Divorce is worth it for women that’s why.

[Anonymous]

I wonder the same thing. Leaving a marriage just to find a new guy is crazy. You’re just exchanging one problem for the same problem???

[Anonymous]

Hope springs eternal in some women that there are men out there capable of emotional connection and consideration at the same level as women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some married women complain about their husbands a lot and constantly think about divorcing him. These women also tend to talk about men in a general sense as if all men were like their husbands. Yet these same women are eager to re-join the dating scene as soon as they are divorced perhaps because they are scared to be alone or are still looking for that elusive perfect husband. I am just confused about what they want.

Are you lamenting as a man or a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some married women complain about their husbands a lot and constantly think about divorcing him. These women also tend to talk about men in a general sense as if all men were like their husbands. Yet these same women are eager to re-join the dating scene as soon as they are divorced perhaps because they are scared to be alone or are still looking for that elusive perfect husband. I am just confused about what they want.

OP you should realize that the women who are first to tell others to divorce are the last to actually leave their dumpy, mentally ill husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some married women complain about their husbands a lot and constantly think about divorcing him. These women also tend to talk about men in a general sense as if all men were like their husbands. Yet these same women are eager to re-join the dating scene as soon as they are divorced perhaps because they are scared to be alone or are still looking for that elusive perfect husband. I am just confused about what they want.

OP you should realize that the women who are first to tell others to divorce are the last to actually leave their dumpy, mentally ill husbands.

+1. The other day my wife was telling Nancy should divorce her husband because he is such and such. And she was quite animated about her. I told her to.mind her own business and she got really upset. I don't care. I just think some women think divorce is some kind of joke. After all of you are the lower earning spouse you will most likely be taken care of with spousal and/or child support. And to top it off you can find yourself a brand new shiny guy. So yeah I think divorce is definitely worth it for women specially if they are the lower earning spouse.

[Anonymous]

I think you are full of crap, OP. At the very best, you are thinking of different women as if they were the same person.
The women I know who are divorced or widowed and complain about “all men” have no interest in dating or getting remarried.
The women who are interested in dating post-divorce generally feel that they married poorly the first time or that they changed or grew in some way and are no longer compatible with their spouse, but don’t have a chip on their shoulder about all men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you are full of crap, OP. At the very best, you are thinking of different women as if they were the same person.
The women I know who are divorced or widowed and complain about “all men” have no interest in dating or getting remarried.
The women who are interested in dating post-divorce generally feel that they married poorly the first time or that they changed or grew in some way and are no longer compatible with their spouse, but don’t have a chip on their shoulder about all men.

You are correct in some way. We will have to agree to disagree that both men and women have very different views about divorce. I know a few (not generalizing about all men) men who are divorced and in all cases infidelity and spousal abuse were not the reason. These men while they don’t deny their shortcomings I guess felt that their ex wives got bored or didn’t appreciate them enough and and compared their failed marriages to other successful marriages. Women of course view it differently. Namely the vast majority of these divorced women felt (maybe they are right or wrong I don’t know) that they gave their exes millions of chances to make changes and they didn’t. Having said that women are still the ones filling for divorce in 80% of cases, so it is fair to say they are the ones constantly evaluating the Union.

[Anonymous]

Women have extremely high expectation going into a marriage, but some men end up disappointing them. I think women should aim for low expectations to avoid frustration that end up with divorce down the line...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women have extremely high expectation going into a marriage, but some men end up disappointing them. I think women should aim for low expectations to avoid frustration that end up with divorce down the line...

100% correct. Thankfully not all unfulfilled expectations end in divorce otherwise so many men would be on the street hailing single ladies for another try lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are full of crap, OP. At the very best, you are thinking of different women as if they were the same person.
The women I know who are divorced or widowed and complain about “all men” have no interest in dating or getting remarried.
The women who are interested in dating post-divorce generally feel that they married poorly the first time or that they changed or grew in some way and are no longer compatible with their spouse, but don’t have a chip on their shoulder about all men.

You are correct in some way. We will have to agree to disagree that both men and women have very different views about divorce. I know a few (not generalizing about all men) men who are divorced and in all cases infidelity and spousal abuse were not the reason. These men while they don’t deny their shortcomings I guess felt that their ex wives got bored or didn’t appreciate them enough and and compared their failed marriages to other successful marriages. Women of course view it differently. Namely the vast majority of these divorced women felt (maybe they are right or wrong I don’t know) that they gave their exes millions of chances to make changes and they didn’t. Having said that women are still the ones filling for divorce in 80% of cases, so it is fair to say they are the ones constantly evaluating the Union.

So, how do the men feel about divorce? You only told me that the women were unhappy and filed. Are men against divorce? Do they generally just not care much or really think about their wives and families?

[Anonymous]

IMO many of the divorced male friends I have were basically baffled by their spouses behavior and just assumed she was depressed and hoped they would snap out of it if they held out long enough. Frankly my experience with women is that when they are unhappy with the relationship they begin giving the man signals but little in the way of direct or circumspect communication. They will treat the male in ways that will make him less receptive, bit more, to change.

[Anonymous]

*not more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IMO many of the divorced male friends I have were basically baffled by their spouses behavior and just assumed she was depressed and hoped they would snap out of it if they held out long enough. Frankly my experience with women is that when they are unhappy with the relationship they begin giving the man signals but little in the way of direct or circumspect communication. They will treat the male in ways that will make him less receptive, bit more, to change.

So, did these men just not care about maintaining their marriages? Are they fine with the divorce even if they didn’t file?