When are allowing your child to “date”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No set age, just age appropriate boundaries. One of my kids had a girlfriend in 7th grade and they talked on the phone and saw each other at school. No solo dates or going to each other’s houses. With his 9th grade girlfriend it was group hangouts or outings. Girlfriend could come over when an adult was home and watch a movie, etc.

My older kid didn’t have solo dates until after he started driving Jr year.

This is like the only right answer in this thread. Don't tell your kid "no you can't date Larla"; it will make them dig in their heels and I guarantee they will still tell everyone at school they're dating. Just say OK and set age-appropriate limits on what they can do together.

[Anonymous]

My DD wants to have her “boyfriend” over to watch a movie. I’m struggling with this. She is soooo into him and it’s nice to see her happy, but I wish she was at least in high school (she’s in 8th).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is 14 and dating with restrictions.

Introduction to the parent, letting us know where they are going (he took her to a local restaurant on a date), door open when in a room in the house watching a movie. That sort of thing. We do periodic walk ins when they are playing video games or watching a movie together, and they understand that’s non negotiable.

[Anonymous]

^ and never in a house without an adult present

[Anonymous]

For me, the earliest would be 17/18.

[Anonymous]

I am confused about how one would even stop dating in theory. From a concrete rules perspective, what's the difference between going on a "date" and just going out with a platonic friend? If I made a rule against "dates" how would I know the difference? I'm obviously not going to tell my kid they can't go out with friends (I guess that's the strategy?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 13 and just started going on solo dates with a very nice boy! I was not okay with it at first but honestly they will do it behind your back if you don’t “let” them. I know this because I snuck around in middle school plenty.

Not true.

Very true for many teens. My parents have ZERO knowledge to this day about all my dates and any sexual activity in HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 13 and just started going on solo dates with a very nice boy! I was not okay with it at first but honestly they will do it behind your back if you don’t “let” them. I know this because I snuck around in middle school plenty.

Not true.

Very true for many teens. My parents have ZERO knowledge to this day about all my dates and any sexual activity in HS.

X1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 13 and just started going on solo dates with a very nice boy! I was not okay with it at first but honestly they will do it behind your back if you don’t “let” them. I know this because I snuck around in middle school plenty.

Not true.

Very true for many teens. My parents have ZERO knowledge to this day about all my dates and any sexual activity in HS.

My parents know now but they definitely did not back then. I starting “dating” boys in 6th grade. Lost my virginity at 16.

The first time I told my parents was a long term boyfriend senior year.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t give an age. My daughter kissed a boy at 12 (she was the instigator), and went on a date (walking around in Georgetown) at 14. I’m fine with it. Neither date became a relationship.

[Anonymous]

I left it up to them.
Daughter started "dating" at end of 8th grade. It lasted one summer and it was a good experience in understanding that other people can be very needy and whack. She waited until 11th grade to date again but this time chose a very un-needy person and that also didn't end well. She's now dating someone where they both understand it will end when the academic program ends.
Son started "dating" in 10th grade and it lasted a few months. She pursued him and he thought it would be an interesting experience until he realized he liked hanging out and playing basketball with his guy friends more than hanging out with her psychotherapy investigations of everything he would utter.

So I think these experiences taught them to understand themselves and their expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 13 and just started going on solo dates with a very nice boy! I was not okay with it at first but honestly they will do it behind your back if you don’t “let” them. I know this because I snuck around in middle school plenty.

Not true.

Very true for many teens. My parents have ZERO knowledge to this day about all my dates and any sexual activity in HS.

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Mine is on a date right now and they are both 13. I am totally fine with it.

[Anonymous]

My kid is a physical and emotional late bloomer. By his age (13), I really wanted to be "going with" someone but that didn't happen for a couple more years. I started dating (like going on dates to the movies or school events) in high school and had a few relationships--none very long!

But waited to have sex until college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 13 and just started going on solo dates with a very nice boy! I was not okay with it at first but honestly they will do it behind your back if you don’t “let” them. I know this because I snuck around in middle school plenty.

Because you did doesn’t mean everyone else will. Whore.

+1 NP.