College student floundering re how to find a summer internship or job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they are a freshman, getting “regular” summer job can be beneficial for scoring an internship the next year. Both my kids worked as cashier at the local grocery store chain the summer between freshman and sophomore year. It gave them experience. The next would be to find a professor who needs work done disputing the year that can be an internship. That helps too. Great grades help and going to the fall career fairs their sophomore year and filling out as many applications as they can. Parent’s employers often have internships for employee’s children too - look there to see how competitive they are.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The idea of making your kid flounder so that it will teach them to pull it together is based in the flawed belief that people should be “self-made” and pull themselves up “from their bootstraps”. Failing and figuring it out does contribute to growth, absolutely. But most of the people around you who meet all the hallmarks of traditionally defined success (money, nice house, nice cars…) just didn’t get there on their own, no matter how much they want you (or themselves) to believe it. There is so much hidden support that it makes everyone else believe that if their kids don’t flounder and figure it out themselves, they’ll never figure it out like all of these self-made successful people.

Here’s the truth. A very, very small percentage are truly self-made. The others also work hard, but they (rightly) take advantage of all the opportunities afforded to them to get a leg up and start the race already ahead of the rest. Because life can be hard. Parents pay for college or pay off their loans, give large sums for down payments, help with major home renovations, and generally find ways to transfer wealth before it becomes inheritance, they call in contacts to help with a first job, pay for multi-generational family vacations, give them their “old” car which happens to be a BMW/Mercedes/Lexus. I know, because I am now one of them. Married into a family with wealth and it is so, so eye-opening.

I, and many others, falsely believed that smarts, hard work, risk-taking, and perseverance in the face of hardship is what led to others’ success. Nope. It was actually being able to live rent-free in their parent’s NYC apartment while they fearlessly built their careers and saved a sh*t ton of money.


I’m teaching my kids the values of hard work and perseverance. I let them make minor mistakes that have no consequence other than a bruised ego that comes with a good life lesson. But I will make sure a financial and emotional support follows them wherever they go. And they should never be ashamed of it.

Exactly my thoughts. In order to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, they need some boots.

I also came from poor beginnings, family of immigrants, and thought that the American Dream meant working hard and good things will follow. I learned quickly that is not necessarily the case unless you have help, connections, etc. It's jaded me, actually, learning that. And it was so hard making something out of nothing. With no help.

My kids will have help.

[Anonymous]

Making your kid struggle, just to struggle is dumb. Help them out, show them your wisdom. It's the only thing worth aging for.

[Anonymous]

I will always help my child. I haven’t read all the comments but have you sat down with your child and asked them if they’d like some assistance. If they do, tell them you can’t guarantee a job but can assist. Figure out what and where they’ve looked and what they’d like to do. Put your heads together to figure out who you all know and what some ideas might be. Review the resume, buy some interview clothes, practice cold calling and interview skills with them.

[Anonymous]

Help them search for internships on Google. There are many Federal ones (but it is too late for them now).

This is always what my child did over the holiday (end of year) break. I am not saying your kid does not need guidance, but do it with them so they are left with skills afterwards.

Don't just hand it to them. That leaves them dependent and child-like.

[Anonymous]

You are already paying for a college career center, which has ample resources for all of this. Encouraging your kid to make an appointment with the career center and utilize the available resources for advice on how to leverage linkedin, update his resume etc is the right thing to do here. Calling your friends to get him an internship is not, and well done on not doing it for him!

[Anonymous]

My kid has ADHD and autism and receives accommodations in college for it. I've been helping him, NOT with pulling strings from my network, but by issuing reminders about not procrastinating and applying to things before the deadline. He's received help from the career center. I had to tell him that whether or not there's a firm deadline, most internships are filled early... something he has trouble acting on, because he has a hard time understanding "vagueness" or unsaid/unwritten rules. Plus there's the procrastination factor. Sigh.

The reason I don't want to ask favors of people I know is that this will be his first internship, and he's probably going to be incompetent. I don't want to burn bridges with acquaintances who can help him down the road, in a few years, when he shapes up!

Best of luck to your kid, OP.

[Anonymous]

Quality internships can be very competitive - but there are alternatives. Whatever you do, do not let you kid reach graduation without genuine work experience. "Fake" unstructured internships with no real responsibility or depth, squeezed in between vacations are easy to spot and employers will not be impressed. Strong internship alternatives include (hopefully more than a one of these) RA, coffee shop manager, team captain, club president or recruited athletes generally, TA or research assistant. Without a quality internship, a record of increasingly responsible positions are what employers are seeking to demonstrate time management and collaboration abilities. Leadership positions in Greek Life can also be good (fundraising, event management, chapter president etc). There is more than one path to landing a great job - but get your kid to work to build grit and ensure that your DC exudes confidence, likability and demonstrates motivation.

[Anonymous]

You should absolutely help them! Even as you explicitly discuss skills that increase the chances of a successful job search and encourage the use of whatever resources are available through the college.

[Anonymous]

I helped, I found the job, and damn near sent the app myself. DC was struggling in college, just had a huge surgery, and found herself evicted. So it was rough for her mentally apply soon after, but I didn’t want her in a rut for too long.


She has quadrupled her salary within the year at the same company, with 2 raises, and they find her to be a great asset to the company. I did the easy part but it was her going into the office every day putting in the work.

[Anonymous]

This summer has been hard for me to help find internship opportunities for children of my friends. Most of my contacts still work from home, and college students don't want remote internships if they are moving here just for the summer.