Would you date a man who

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paid for everything and wanted you to move in with him but wouldn’t marry you or allow you any equity in the house you both live in?

Insufficient data provided. Am I attracted to him? Is he kind/does he treat me well? What does our life look like? What does "everything" include?

Given the info provided, all I can say is "it's not a hard no, but it's not a yes, so maybe."

Ask a better question, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paid for everything and wanted you to move in with him but wouldn’t marry you or allow you any equity in the house you both live in?

Would I date a woman or allow her to move in with me who deman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paid for everything and wanted you to move in with him but wouldn’t marry you or allow you any equity in the house you both live in?

Would I date a woman who wanted to move in with me and demanded that I give her equity in my house that I paid for and owned? F no.

[Anonymous]

I have my own job, income, savings, and house (which I could rent out in this scenario). So as long as his house is in a location that I could acceptably live in, sure.

Personally, I would not enter into this situation if it meant full financial dependency with no protections.

[Anonymous]

I did move in with a man who paid for everything and didn't want to get married. But we had already been together eight years, and he was paying for everything because I was going to grad school. And we rented.

We did buy a house a year later and he absolutely did put my name on the deed for my own protection, and I got half of the equity in the house. That said, I can see where it might be reasonable not to do that under certain circumstances. For example, it sounds like you, OP, aren't contributing financially to the living expenses at all, so not sure why you would expect to build equity.

Eventually my DH changed his mind about marriage and we got married.

You haven't really given enough details for any of us to have a real opinion here.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I surely would. I would rent my house, keep my job, and stack money until the inevitable break-up occurs. If done right, this arrangement could be very advantageous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I did that. Mid 40s, both divorced, both had grown kids, both employed and self supporting, had been dating for two years, he asked me to move in with him at his house so I did. He paid for all the housing expenses, groceries and going out to eat. I paid my own other bills. We broke up about a year later and I rented a small house and moved. It was difficult getting over the relationship but it was not difficult getting on with the mechanics of my life.

I'm curious why it ended?

[Anonymous]

Only if I was okay with being out on my ear when the relationship ended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paid for everything and wanted you to move in with him but wouldn’t marry you or allow you any equity in the house you both live in?

It depends on what you want in life. If you are okay with it, save and invest your income separately or find someone who wants an equal partner in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you have equity in the house if you didn’t put money into it? Not marrying you and him paying for everything is a different issue.

This^. He pays all mortgage, home insurance and property tax. You pay an appropriate amount as rent and utilities and both equally divide other expenses like groceries etc.

If you don't like that, don't move in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would date him but I wouldn’t move in to house I have no rights to.

What do you mean by "rights" - it seems to me that you'd be paying no rent that that would give you the "right" to save and invest the money you'd otherwise have to spend on rent/mortgage. That's gonna be 20-30k a year right there.

There are 2 recent threads by someone who is in this arrangement. Assuming it’s not you, you should read them to see how it turned out. Hint, not well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paid for everything and wanted you to move in with him but wouldn’t marry you or allow you any equity in the house you both live in?

Probably doesn't want to pay an ex and shark lawyers in case of a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I did that. Mid 40s, both divorced, both had grown kids, both employed and self supporting, had been dating for two years, he asked me to move in with him at his house so I did. He paid for all the housing expenses, groceries and going out to eat. I paid my own other bills. We broke up about a year later and I rented a small house and moved. It was difficult getting over the relationship but it was not difficult getting on with the mechanics of my life.

I'm curious why it ended?

Because he cheated on me and decided he wanted to be with her which didn't go well and a few months later he begged me to come back but of course I did not. I forgot to say I did not want to marry him at all nor did I want any equity in his house. I visualized a long term relationship possibly but not marriage. I appreciated what he paid for and not having to pay rent that year and I did a lot to compensate for what he was paying for which he did appreciate, that was all fine. None of that was the reason we broke up. If I had it do over again I would do it again, the heartbreak was very difficult for me but not to the point where I didn't value what we had while we had it.

[Anonymous]

If I were older and had my own property and a ton of money and no kids were involved, sure. Otherwise, no. Although probably not because someone like that would likely have other issues that would be a turnoff.