Would you date a man who

[Anonymous]

Age?

I would but I am mid 40s and I would do this in my 50s. I will never remarry. I would save all of my money. I won’t ever buy a house with anyone again, ever.

If I was 30, I would have a different answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would date him but I wouldn’t move in to house I have no rights to.

What do you mean by "rights" - it seems to me that you'd be paying no rent that that would give you the "right" to save and invest the money you'd otherwise have to spend on rent/mortgage. That's gonna be 20-30k a year right there.

Assuming I would be contributing to the household in some form, so I would want the house to be mine also.

No—you don’t get equity without a financial contribution.

[Anonymous]

Depends on age and situation. If I was young, wanted marriage and kids, then no.

If I am 45+ with grown up kids, and he has kids from a previous marriage, then sure. I wouldn’t want to get married again either.

[Anonymous]

Sex for room and board ?

[Anonymous]

Sure! I have equity in my own houses. I’d move out of mine, rent that one too, and then go live in his!

[Anonymous]

Yes, I did that. Mid 40s, both divorced, both had grown kids, both employed and self supporting, had been dating for two years, he asked me to move in with him at his house so I did. He paid for all the housing expenses, groceries and going out to eat. I paid my own other bills. We broke up about a year later and I rented a small house and moved. It was difficult getting over the relationship but it was not difficult getting on with the mechanics of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paid for everything and wanted you to move in with him but wouldn’t marry you or allow you any equity in the house you both live in?

I wouldn't be worried about the house equity if I could be putting my mortgage/rent money in the stock market instead.

If he was super-rich i also wouldn't care about him paying for all the groceries and utilities or whatever "everything" entails.

However, a statement that he never wants to marry and will not revisit that at a later time would be a dealbreaker in combo with the other stipulations.

[Anonymous]

If he is paying for everything, including rent, then you are able to save money toward your own future and retirement, in your own personal account. Whatever “contributions” you provide to the household would be more than compensated for by not having to pay rent. If equity is important to you then do t move in with him - stay in your own home and enjoy dating him.

But if you do decide to move in, I would continue to live separate financial lives so if things go south, you are in no way dependent upon him; you will have the ability to support yourself in all of the important ways. Obviously if marriage is important to you, this is not going to be the right path but o do t see a risk, as long as you are financially independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paid for everything and wanted you to move in with him but wouldn’t marry you or allow you any equity in the house you both live in?

What's that everything? Is he a nice man? If you two want to live together and he has a house, why would you not move in there. Just because you live in the house, doesn't mean you get equity. You want equity, get your own house and rent it out.
Why are you so set on his equity. If he doesn't require rent, the $1000 you would otherwise pay, could grow into a million. Seems like a very good deal. You don't even have to worry about upkeep, utilities since he pays for everything.
Seems like you have no idea how to make money. You just know how he build up money and want want some of it.
If he is not a nice person, don't move in.
All the money you save by living rent free, you put into s and p 500 ETF every month. That is your equity. At some point it will grow much bigger and faster than his house. If any, he should ask you for that at some point.

[Anonymous]

What do you want out of this relationship? He sounds like a sugar daddy. Is that what you want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paid for everything and wanted you to move in with him but wouldn’t marry you or allow you any equity in the house you both live in?

Yes.

In fact, if I was the one with the house and he was moving in, I wouldn’t give him any quite either.

Why do you think you’re entitled to his assets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would date him but I wouldn’t move in to house I have no rights to.

What do you mean by "rights" - it seems to me that you'd be paying no rent that that would give you the "right" to save and invest the money you'd otherwise have to spend on rent/mortgage. That's gonna be 20-30k a year right there.

Assuming I would be contributing to the household in some form, so I would want the house to be mine also.

Oh yes, all the “emotional labor” you exerted remembering that Thursday is garbage day. Of course you should be entitled to an equity stake in the house.

[Anonymous]

No. I wouldn’t settle like that. I want to be with someone who respects me.

[Anonymous]

no he clearly doesn't value you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no he clearly doesn't value you.

. Value her for what? Just because she’s nice and he wants to date her, she’s entitled to half his biggest asset? A bunch of gold diggers in this forum.