my 24 year old daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No no no!!!!! He sounds like a loser of the highest order.

Agree that it is BAD (!!!) to move in w/ each other, but what makes you think he is a "loser of the highest order" w/out knowing him????

Um, because losers move quickly as they have nothing to LOSE. Two kids at age 25? How old are these children? Was he ever married? Are the children from the same woman? A mother’s disapproval can be very powerful, especially considering it is likely that she still has some financial dependence on her parents. She will probably need a guarantor on a lease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No no no!!!!! He sounds like a loser of the highest order.

How is a single dad with two kids different from a single mom with two kids? Both have baggage.

[Anonymous]

Is she pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say, you are more than welcome to stay with him, but I would not sign a lease so she has the ability to leave if she needs to. It also means it doesn't ruin her credit if he doesn't pay for whatever reason

This. Don't try to stop them from living together, but really warn her about signing the lease and that means a year long financial obligation whether he pays or not. Better for him to sign the lease and she contribute towards rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No no no!!!!! He sounds like a loser of the highest order.

How is a single dad with two kids different from a single mom with two kids? Both have baggage.

Let’s not be coy, it is no longer 1950- two children at 25 is an indicator of lower socioeconomic status and educational attainment. Yes, they both have baggage and should endeavor to find partners who own a similar brand of luggage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No no no!!!!! He sounds like a loser of the highest order.

How is a single dad with two kids different from a single mom with two kids? Both have baggage.

You wouldn't want neither your 24 year daughter nor son to be involved with either.

[Anonymous]

I would not say you disapprove. I would couch it in terms of his kids - it’s a big responsibility to date someone with kids. Not necessarily taking care of them, but in dropping in and out of their lives. Tell her she should wait until she knows that she will be a permanent part of their lives and up for responsibilities and emotional connection of basically being a stepmom to these kids. It’s not fair to them to pop in and out. That would make me think twice. It’s not as carefree as moving in with a single guy (not that she should do that after one month either!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No no no!!!!! He sounds like a loser of the highest order.

Agree that it is BAD (!!!) to move in w/ each other, but what makes you think he is a "loser of the highest order" w/out knowing him????

Um, because losers move quickly as they have nothing to LOSE. Two kids at age 25? How old are these children? Was he ever married? Are the children from the same woman? A mother’s disapproval can be very powerful, especially considering it is likely that she still has some financial dependence on her parents. She will probably need a guarantor on a lease.

I believe they are 5 and 10 month old, two different "baby mamas", just hope they break up soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No no no!!!!! He sounds like a loser of the highest order.

How is a single dad with two kids different from a single mom with two kids? Both have baggage.

who said it was different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say, you are more than welcome to stay with him, but I would not sign a lease so she has the ability to leave if she needs to. It also means it doesn't ruin her credit if he doesn't pay for whatever reason

This. And remind her to use birth control!

[Anonymous]

Does your dd have a college degree, OP?

You said teacher but wanted to be sure it wasn't like a SPED aide or something (which doesn't require a degree).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No no no!!!!! He sounds like a loser of the highest order.

Agree that it is BAD (!!!) to move in w/ each other, but what makes you think he is a "loser of the highest order" w/out knowing him????

Um, because losers move quickly as they have nothing to LOSE. Two kids at age 25? How old are these children? Was he ever married? Are the children from the same woman? A mother’s disapproval can be very powerful, especially considering it is likely that she still has some financial dependence on her parents. She will probably need a guarantor on a lease.

I believe they are 5 and 10 month old, two different "baby mamas", just hope they break up soon.

What is your daughter thinking! Clearly this is someone who has had unprotected sex with multiple recent partners - ewww!

I can’t believe she is even considering moving in with this guy, let alone having a relationship. Even if she is on BC make sure she is also using condoms - clearly this guy is a risk for STIs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:



Um, because losers move quickly as they have nothing to LOSE. Two kids at age 25? How old are these children? Was he ever married? Are the children from the same woman? A mother’s disapproval can be very powerful, especially considering it is likely that she still has some financial dependence on her parents. She will probably need a guarantor on a lease.



I believe they are 5 and 10 month old, two different "baby mamas", just hope they break up soon.

unless he is an extremely involved dad with joint custody (which carries with it a tremendous amount of responsibility and time, which will also fall on your DD) then he is being an irresponsible male.
Agree with the PP who advised couching it in terms of needing to go slow so as not to confuse/upset the kids too soon. Focus on the children and your DD will start to see his true colors. And make sure she is on a reliable birth control method like an implant or IUD so she doesn't wind up as Baby Mama #3.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like the poster child of bad choices, moving in with someone after 1 month is just the latest

[Anonymous]

I'd present her with exciting opportunities incompatible with the guy, like a teaching-related abroad program, amazing summer trip with a girlfriend all expenses paid for...Something to take her away long enough to not move in with loser and time and distance to realize her mistake.