I'm tired, what's the point of it all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, unless you change something in your life, you will have the same results. You need to find something that you will actually look forward to, so that it doesn't seem like a chore. Maybe that is just sitting in your bedroom and listening to a podcast. Maybe it is an extra-long shower followed by a nice-smelling lotion. Make it EASY and enjoyable, but make it a regular event that you try to keep your family or work from encroaching on.

You need to somehow get more time for yourself - that may involve "dropping the rope" (handing off some responsibility in its entirety and then letting folks deal with the consequences if they don't get it done).

I do the podcast and self care stuff. I don't find it meaningfully recharging at all. I think I am just spent emotionally and physically, like there's something wrong with me.

This sounds like burnout. I'm right there with you, though after years and years of this I now have legit health problems related to chronic stress. I obviously dont know what the answer is.

[Anonymous]

PP, I say this gently... perhaps there is something "wrong". if work and regular family chores are grinding this deeply on you when you have kids of a semi-self sufficient age, then perhaps you should look more closely at your mental health or your relationships.

[Anonymous]

How do you stop chronic stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im 45 with a 2 year old. WTF was i thinking ?! Send help!!!

We are 49 with a 7 year old (the 3rd). She is a delight, don’t worry it will be worth it!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 45 with a 2 year old. WTF was i thinking ?! Send help!!!

Clearly you weren’t.

Ignore this poster. There is a huge anti older mom contingent on dcum - holdover from the Pearl clutching puritans of yore

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it helps to count the years/days until the kids leave for college. I will miss them, but not the drudge work of parenting.

Amen to all of that! It helps to see that light at the end of the tunnel. My one and only sweet child graduates high school next year in 2025. My mental outlook gets brighter every day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so exhausted every day: work, teens, their drama, house chores...None of it is fun. My teens are generally ok but rotten teen attitudes at times especially from ds, so any moment not spent at work is spent dealing with teen moods, schedule, cleaning, cooking. I hate it all and there is zero fun to my life. I feel like it is never ending.

Zoloft (Sertraline) has helped me with those feelings tremendously. Ask your doctor to start you on the lowest dose. I saw positive changes in myself immediately. It helps you to not give a d@mn, and it feels so good to not care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so exhausted every day: work, teens, their drama, house chores...None of it is fun. My teens are generally ok but rotten teen attitudes at times especially from ds, so any moment not spent at work is spent dealing with teen moods, schedule, cleaning, cooking. I hate it all and there is zero fun to my life. I feel like it is never ending.

Wow, did I write this? Because I feel this SO hard.

I'm about to go on cooking/kitchen clean up strike because no one wants to clean up after I cook. And half the time there's grumbling about the meal. I'd like to start cooking for one and let them figure the rest out. But I have one kid with T1 diabetes so I really can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so exhausted every day: work, teens, their drama, house chores...None of it is fun. My teens are generally ok but rotten teen attitudes at times especially from ds, so any moment not spent at work is spent dealing with teen moods, schedule, cleaning, cooking. I hate it all and there is zero fun to my life. I feel like it is never ending.

Wow, did I write this? Because I feel this SO hard.

I'm about to go on cooking/kitchen clean up strike because no one wants to clean up after I cook. And half the time there's grumbling about the meal. I'd like to start cooking for one and let them figure the rest out. But I have one kid with T1 diabetes so I really can't.

I have a family member with 2 teens, and she stopped cooking for them unless/until they cleaned the kitchen. It worked!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so exhausted every day: work, teens, their drama, house chores...None of it is fun. My teens are generally ok but rotten teen attitudes at times especially from ds, so any moment not spent at work is spent dealing with teen moods, schedule, cleaning, cooking. I hate it all and there is zero fun to my life. I feel like it is never ending.

Wow, did I write this? Because I feel this SO hard.

I'm about to go on cooking/kitchen clean up strike because no one wants to clean up after I cook. And half the time there's grumbling about the meal. I'd like to start cooking for one and let them figure the rest out. But I have one kid with T1 diabetes so I really can't.

Fellow T1d parent here. I don’t know how old your T1d kid is, but maybe you can teach your kid to make a few simple meals and always have ingredients for at least one of those meals on hand. Tape a paper with carb counts to the inside of a cabinet so they don’t have to guess or rely on memory. The kid might not get it 100% right, especially at first, but my t1d learned best in the moments she got it wrong, and the Dexcom kept things from getting dire. (She’s a teenager now and fairly independent food-wise.)

If your kid likes eggs and/or egg salad, I highly recommend the egg Dash. $20 on Amazon. Makes flawless hard boiled eggs safely and with the press of a button. You can walk away and forget about it, too. I recommend the Dash for everyone, honestly, but it’s been especially essential for my T1d.

[Anonymous]

Can I just say that I was feeling extremely burnt out after enduring a parents death, cleaning out something resembling a hoarder house, moving surviving parent to assisted living etc. and when I arrived back home, I literally went to bed at 6:30 pm for two days and slept twelve hours. It completely restored me and I finally feel like myself again after like two months of unadulterated chaos. I finally get why all these people are like “sleep. It’s miraculous.” Anyway if you haven’t tried it yet as at least a temporary cure for burnout then you should at least try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so exhausted every day: work, teens, their drama, house chores...None of it is fun. My teens are generally ok but rotten teen attitudes at times especially from ds, so any moment not spent at work is spent dealing with teen moods, schedule, cleaning, cooking. I hate it all and there is zero fun to my life. I feel like it is never ending.

I found that I solved all of my problems when I became a SAHM. Of course, I had to sacrifice my paycheck.

[Anonymous]

I get it, OP. I need something to look forward to, something that takes me out of the ordinary treadmill of dishes, cleaning, cooking, kids. For me, it was re-learning a foreign language and immersing myself in that culture. With my new skills, I even took a trip by myself, navigating a foreign country and stepping into a different world. when I got back my family was really appreciative of what I do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so exhausted every day: work, teens, their drama, house chores...None of it is fun. My teens are generally ok but rotten teen attitudes at times especially from ds, so any moment not spent at work is spent dealing with teen moods, schedule, cleaning, cooking. I hate it all and there is zero fun to my life. I feel like it is never ending.

I found that I solved all of my problems when I became a SAHM. Of course, I had to sacrifice my paycheck.

I can see how this was true for you. I had a 5 month gap between jobs 5 years ago. It was probably the best time of my life. I was able to be fully present for the kids, I worked out after school drop off, had time to properly meal plan, shop, and make dinner, the house was in order, planned and planted a garden... everything just ran really well and I wasn't exhausted all the time. Alas, my family needs my income and my SAHM stint had to end. Now I have to cram all of that stuff into the hours before 8 am or after 6 pm. It's a lot.

OP, you need to find some sort of joy amidst the grind. What is something you look forward to or makes you happy? You need to find a way to work those things into your everyday life. If you are able to downshift at work (and can take the economic hit), do that. If not, get your kids to step up more. Lower your standards of what is "good enough" (I know I have).