can you force swim lessons?

[Anonymous]

Yes, sign up for swim lessons. Give rewards for going.

[Anonymous]

I know a lot of people are opposed to Goldfish, but it got my 3 year old swimming without floaties, etc., and he loved going. Now he is 7 and swims competitively on a swim team.

[Anonymous]

Goldfish worked for us too. This was after another group lesson situation and then trying a private lesson. Also we went to a hotel pool that did not allow floaties and many strides were made, so the floaties were “lost by the aiport”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of people are opposed to Goldfish, but it got my 3 year old swimming without floaties, etc., and he loved going. Now he is 7 and swims competitively on a swim team.

Same. I think it's hard to get going on group lessons especially if that's all you're doing, but if you're getting in the water in between lessons to keep at it, it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s old enough to learn how to learn , even if he doesn’t want to do something.

You insist on good behavior, listening, and trying. And trying again without complaining.

It’s much better to master this before K.

Lots of things aren’t that fun to learn but it’s much better if you go ahead and do it.

I’m always so curious what response like this mean. How do you “insist” a kid does something you can’t physically force them to do. Some kids will dig in enough that they will be willing to lose screen time or whatever threat you have. Do you yell at them? Shame them? Hit them? Or just have a compliant and eager to please child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS4 loves the water - he will swim (with floaties and an adult very close) all day, jumping in / going under etc. He is adamant though that he doesn't ever want to swim without floaties and that he will not participate in a swim lesson (even with his older brother). If I try to get him to learn with me, he will just sit on the side and refuse to get back in saying he'd rather not swim than swim without his floaties. he is a very very stubborn kid when he wants to dig in

I want him to learn to swim for water safety. I've seen kids scared of the water forced in and am not sure of the usefulness of that, but he's not scared of the water he just does not want to do a swim class or learn to actually swim. He does hate symbols of growing up (had to be forced off bottles, out of crib, off pacis, out of diapers etc). Anyone been in this situation or have any tips.

Took mine to private lessons after he almost drowned and I can’t swim. I pried his fingers off my legs and left him and went up in the bleachers where he couldn’t see me and watched. Swimming is a life skill. It’s great exercise. He then moved to swim team and is in high school and still is on the team.

To add my DS was 4 at the time. He cried and resisted and not swimming was not an option (of course I didn’t say this to him). Yes to water safety. His private swim teacher Ms Kelly is out of Georgetown prep and the pool is Olympic sized. All kids start swimming in 3-4 feet. She only focuses on safety first. There is no talk of swimming initially. She’s great. Has her own lane. Takes 1 kid at a time or sibling pair maybe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s old enough to learn how to learn , even if he doesn’t want to do something.

You insist on good behavior, listening, and trying. And trying again without complaining.

It’s much better to master this before K.

Lots of things aren’t that fun to learn but it’s much better if you go ahead and do it.

I’m always so curious what response like this mean. How do you “insist” a kid does something you can’t physically force them to do. Some kids will dig in enough that they will be willing to lose screen time or whatever threat you have. Do you yell at them? Shame them? Hit them? Or just have a compliant and eager to please child?

I’m pp who insisted. My child was 4. I knew what he needed. I knew he was in great hands with the adult former competitive swimmer coach and I explained what I was doing and walked away and left him. After a few sessions he understood he wasn’t going to die and he went willingly. The teacher makes the difference. I would not have done this w a kid instructor. I posted also about swimming w Kelly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s old enough to learn how to learn , even if he doesn’t want to do something.

You insist on good behavior, listening, and trying. And trying again without complaining.

It’s much better to master this before K.

Lots of things aren’t that fun to learn but it’s much better if you go ahead and do it.

I’m always so curious what response like this mean. How do you “insist” a kid does something you can’t physically force them to do. Some kids will dig in enough that they will be willing to lose screen time or whatever threat you have. Do you yell at them? Shame them? Hit them? Or just have a compliant and eager to please child?

My DS kid was not compliant. Was an adhd child (still is at 17–god help me when his meds wear off at about 7 pm nightly). There was no physical force. He didn’t have screens at 4!!! This was not punishment. And it was non negotiable. It’s called being a good mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like it's six of one. You either spend the next couple of years forcing him to learn and he's not very independent during that time anyway, or you just ride it out for a couple of years and have him learn when he's older and he will probably pick it up quickly.

Whichever you choose probably will depend on how often you are around water. If it's in the summer when you take him to the pool, personally I would wait. Just supervise him well. If you spend time at places that have unsupervised water (e.g., a home with a pool or lake), I might force him to start to learn now.

Either way, I would bite the bullet and pay for individual lessons. The learning is so much faster so it may even be cheaper in the end.

+1. I would wait for another year or two UNLESS you have a pool or other regular access to water. A 5 or 6 year old is much more rational and physically capable than a 4 year old, and you may spend the next year or two fighting to get him to cooperate anyways. If you have a pool it's an immediate safety issue and he needs individual lessons and whatever currency (bribes, etc.) work for him.

Don’t wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like it's six of one. You either spend the next couple of years forcing him to learn and he's not very independent during that time anyway, or you just ride it out for a couple of years and have him learn when he's older and he will probably pick it up quickly.

Whichever you choose probably will depend on how often you are around water. If it's in the summer when you take him to the pool, personally I would wait. Just supervise him well. If you spend time at places that have unsupervised water (e.g., a home with a pool or lake), I might force him to start to learn now.

Either way, I would bite the bullet and pay for individual lessons. The learning is so much faster so it may even be cheaper in the end.

+1. I would wait for another year or two UNLESS you have a pool or other regular access to water. A 5 or 6 year old is much more rational and physically capable than a 4 year old, and you may spend the next year or two fighting to get him to cooperate anyways. If you have a pool it's an immediate safety issue and he needs individual lessons and whatever currency (bribes, etc.) work for him.

Don’t wait.

Because of Covid a lot of kids were delayed in taking swim lessons. The kids who are in the pool with one on one instructors are the timid kids who are almost clinging to the instructor. Group lessons are the best option because you push each other on. You don’t want to be the one who can’t go the whole lap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They will learn faster without floaties. We have never used them with our kids. I would suggest getting rid of your floaties and not going swimming again until he’ll go without.

+1. We don't do floaties either and I once had a lifeguard yell at me for not giving my 2 year old floaties. Floaties are not good for so many reasons (just google it), so ditch them. I also agree about swim lessons until your child can swim multiple laps of a few strokes. It's first and foremost achieving competency in swimming so you can save your own life (or possibly help someone else if they need help!) and then after that it's about the fact that as you age swimming is everywhere and it is nice socially to not have any hangups or issues when it comes to the physical act of swimming and as a bonus it's a great way to stay fit. My grandmother swam into her 80s. I don't expect any of my children to be Michael Phelps - I don't care if they swim competitively, but they need to be competent.

That’s crazy. I used to lifeguard in HS and college at my hometown pool and we didn’t even allow floaties or tubes in the big 50m pool or diving well. I spent a good chunk of time blowing the whistle and telling parents to take them off their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Get rid of the floaties now. He's six. He is old enough to behave well for swim lessons.

Otherwise he doesn't go to the pool or beach and that is on you.

How is this even an option?
You failed OP.

you failed both at being a kind person and at reading

+1 What a d**k.

[Anonymous]

I insisted for both my kids, especially my anxious one. It was a long road and a lot of tears but I have no regrets. Swimming is the one thing I insist they know how to do. The rest is icing on the cake.

[Anonymous]

It takes some regular time in the pool. Do 15 minutes of practice without, then allow them. Next day 15 mins then use them. Slowly stretch 15-30. Have fun. Stay shallow. It will take some time, but mostly they have to learn to swim.

Mind you - it’s one thing to learn basics and entirely another to really learn to swim. I strongly recommend the summer swim team things at local pools. They won’t make your kid a real competitive swimmer, but they will make your kid into a good safe swimmer who you don’t have to worry about too much around water. Add a beginner life saving course when they hit 14/15 and they will get the basics down. And, get cpr certified.

[Anonymous]

I'm unclear how old the kid is - I thought 4, but someone said 6. If 4, I'd say just leave him be for a year or two. 6 is not too old to begin swim lessons, and neither is 7. I guarantee he'll ditch the floaties once he hits a certain age and would look ridiculous with them, if he could even get them on his arms. Then you can do some lessons - we didn't start til age 6 and then did Goldfish, which was the only thing that ever worked. Kid is on a swim team now and does pretty well.