Child is finally school aged. How did you make friends as an adult?

[Anonymous]

I agree with others that it’s about consistently doing something with the same people. Staying on PTA and joining other committees. Going to the park often, maybe about the same time. Specific activités. Like if it’s Garden club, propose setting up a community garden or class and asking for their help or advice. Maybe suggest growing herbs/vegetables and patterning with a chef/community center for cooking classes.

[Anonymous]

I am also a minority who have moved to a new town. I find it a lot easier to make friends with the same minorities. Uncomfortable but true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the Indian mom that you should try to find others of your race/ethnicity. The white UMC/wealthy people around here are constantly “busy” and understand nothing about reciprocity. I don’t expect dinner party invitations - just initiating a meetup at a park would be enough! There are a rare few good eggs but in general I feel other minority moms are more friendly.

I find this offensive. Don’t paint entire groups of people with a broad brush, it’s not a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The key is not the specific activity, it is what you do at that activity.

1) Introduce yourself to the people around you.
2) Next time you see them, say hi, repeat your name, and ask a small talk question. "Hi Jane, I'm Larla, we were next to each other last class too. How are you faring with the snow?"
3) After you have had a few of these small talk conversations with someone, ask if they want to grab lunch/coffee after class.

Number 3 is so hard. I've tried this with several people, and usually they don't bite. Most likely they will act very enthusiastic at the idea and say sure, let's do that, but when you text to set up an actual date/time they will either 1) agree to meet with a positive emoji only to back out at the last minute for unforseen circumstances and never follow up again, 2) reject every single proposed time because they are too busy, or 3) ghost you completely.

I find the only real way to make friends is to do so with people who are forced to keep frequenting the same space as you, like at a job, church or organization with long term volunteers.