DD without a date

[Anonymous]

Ugh, at least she can go. In our area, the sub deb equivalent- PDC (pre deb cotillion) dates are required. Luckily, my daughter has no interest, as it’s also a very expensive, ticketed event. You literally have to fill out a form if you want to take a same gender date. Yes, welcome to the south, where we register lesbians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you really questioning whether your daughter can go to a dance without a f’ing date and have fun?!?!? Of course she can. Kudos to her. Stop the old fashion NS Grandmom. Most girls are realizing they rather be happy than appease a man. And many are happily single or gay. Need flash: most men, especially teens suck.

+1
I don't know what a sub deb is, but really, is it your goal to make her feel bad about herself and give her isues? unless it's really true she would be the only 1 AND you tare 100% certain this woudl be crushing to her, lay off, please, it will reduce the therapy time she has later in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD (17) is going to Sub Deb next weekend. She plans to get ready and then go with a group of 4 other girlfriends. Each of her four friends has asked a date to the dance. DD hasn’t asked anyone. There are definitely guys she could ask to go with her as friends, but she refuses.
I explained to her that it might be awkward being the only one without a date. I explained a few possible scenarios that could play out. She insists that there are other kids she can hang out with and that it won’t be awkward at all.
I’ve dropped it completely and won’t bring it up again, but I feel like she’s being extremely naive here. I don’t see this playing out well. Is this normal and common in today’s world?

It will be awkward.

This may be a hard lesson she needs to suffer through before she ever understands how these social situations work out IRL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you really questioning whether your daughter can go to a dance without a f’ing date and have fun?!?!? Of course she can. Kudos to her. Stop the old fashion NS Grandmom. Most girls are realizing they rather be happy than appease a man. And many are happily single or gay. Need flash: most men, especially teens suck.

Teen men are horrible!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD (17) is going to Sub Deb next weekend. She plans to get ready and then go with a group of 4 other girlfriends. Each of her four friends has asked a date to the dance. DD hasn’t asked anyone. There are definitely guys she could ask to go with her as friends, but she refuses.
I explained to her that it might be awkward being the only one without a date. I explained a few possible scenarios that could play out. She insists that there are other kids she can hang out with and that it won’t be awkward at all.
I’ve dropped it completely and won’t bring it up again, but I feel like she’s being extremely naive here. I don’t see this playing out well. Is this normal and common in today’s world?

It will be awkward.

This may be a hard lesson she needs to suffer through before she ever understands how these social situations work out IRL.

Agree. I think people aren’t considering the context. Going alone or in a group of singles is totally fine. But it seems awkward if you are going as a single with 3 other couples. The other girls she is going with have dates, so she will be the odd one out- but that seems pretty obvious. I probably wouldn’t say anything though. She knows the dynamic better than you do. If she doesn’t think anything of it, it may be a case of while the other girls have “dates” no one is an actual couple or crush and the dates are more or less functioning as photo props. Then once out to dinner and dance, everyone is just regular friends

[Anonymous]

OP, she's fine. She'll have fun. It won't be awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes we’re in the south. Sounds like I need to stay out of it though. Advice taken.

You first mistake was having her participate in this antiquated garbage

And yes stay out of it ugh who still does this

Many, many people, including young women in the DC area. Sorry you’re out of the loop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes we’re in the south. Sounds like I need to stay out of it though. Advice taken.

You first mistake was having her participate in this antiquated garbage

And yes stay out of it ugh who still does this

Many, many people, including young women in the DC area. Sorry you’re out of the loop.

The loop of strivers? No one established feels the need to do this anymore. It’s not upper class cosplay those trying to climb

[Anonymous]

It will be awkward for her OP. School dances for fine to go alone, but these old fashioned events? Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will be awkward for her OP. School dances for fine to go alone, but these old fashioned events? Nope.

So what? Will she die if she feels “awkward?” And what exactly is mommy supposed to do about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s 17. Back off, mom.

+1
Land the helicopter and let her learn by consequences.


... would then to an 'I told you so', just because I would be able to control myself not saying that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you on DCUM if you’re in the south?

+1 to wtf is a sub deb???

NP. This was answered. Reading before posting helps!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes we’re in the south. Sounds like I need to stay out of it though. Advice taken.

You first mistake was having her participate in this antiquated garbage

And yes stay out of it ugh who still does this

Many, many people, including young women in the DC area. Sorry you’re out of the loop.

Yep. Some of these responses are really embarrassing. I know it's super important to rush into threads like this to declare ourselves far above southerners, but there is plenty of this (Cotillions, Deb balls etc) right in the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes we’re in the south. Sounds like I need to stay out of it though. Advice taken.

You first mistake was having her participate in this antiquated garbage

And yes stay out of it ugh who still does this

Many, many people, including young women in the DC area. Sorry you’re out of the loop.

Yep. Some of these responses are really embarrassing. I know it's super important to rush into threads like this to declare ourselves far above southerners, but there is plenty of this (Cotillions, Deb balls etc) right in the area.

And most families have dropped doing them and they teach these things in daily life at home. Seems like the only people participating are parents that grew up middle class and have no idea about etiquette and feel this will give their child some advantage to class climb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, at least she can go. In our area, the sub deb equivalent- PDC (pre deb cotillion) dates are required. Luckily, my daughter has no interest, as it’s also a very expensive, ticketed event. You literally have to fill out a form if you want to take a same gender date. Yes, welcome to the south, where we register lesbians.

What the heck?!

What in God's tarnation is a PDC? I need to know more about this antiquated ritual... I don't know that this exists in the land of DCUM proper, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I now find myself with David Attenborough like curiosity to find out about what a PDC entails.