Should DD9 not be going to these meets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somebody has to come in last! If she was so slow that it delayed the meeting I could understand them being annoyed but they should still keep it to themselves. If your kid is happy there's no reason to stop.

I sometimes get annoyed when a swimmer is so much slower than everyone else and it slows down a long meet. Especially if it’s a meet with qualifying times and the kid clearly is not swimming the qualifying times. I’d never say anything out loud though. What were these people saying?

Then stay home.. simple solution.

[Anonymous]

It is annoying when a slow swimmer is in a long race that they clearly don’t belong in….but I blame the coaches not the parents when that happens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's been on the team for less than a year and isn't very good, to put it mildly. DH and I both swam in college, and I had a lot of concerns that she might feel pressured, but she LOVES it. She asks to go to every meet she meets the qualifications for, and we usually allow it. If nothing else, her confidence has skyrocketed.

This weekend, we overheard another parent make a nasty comment about her times, and how they couldn't believe she was at this particular meet, because the park district pool was more her speed. Again, her coaches were aware. She met the requirements. She was not even the slowest swimmer, by far.

30+ years ago, what she/we are doing would have fine. But it made me wonder if there has been some unspoken cultural shift that says only "good" swimmers should attend meets at at elite pools. What does DCUM think?

Nope you do what is best for your child.

There will always be these ugly parents ignore them. As long as your kid is happy, healthy and improving for them screw that other parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is annoying when a slow swimmer is in a long race that they clearly don’t belong in….but I blame the coaches not the parents when that happens

Yes. Like a kid with NT in the 100 fly and a 50 fly over a minute signed up for the 200 fly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is annoying when a slow swimmer is in a long race that they clearly don’t belong in….but I blame the coaches not the parents when that happens

Yes. Like a kid with NT in the 100 fly and a 50 fly over a minute signed up for the 200 fly.

agreed as long as this isn't the scenario then all is good. Ignore any negative chatter around you. You just never know when that "slow" young swimmer drops 15 seconds in a 100.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somebody has to come in last! If she was so slow that it delayed the meeting I could understand them being annoyed but they should still keep it to themselves. If your kid is happy there's no reason to stop.

I sometimes get annoyed when a swimmer is so much slower than everyone else and it slows down a long meet. Especially if it’s a meet with qualifying times and the kid clearly is not swimming the qualifying times. I’d never say anything out loud though. What were these people saying?

Only a handful of these events have qualifying times. And like I said, DD was not the slowest by any means. She wasn't even the slowest heats (second-slowest, yes, but still).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's been on the team for less than a year and isn't very good, to put it mildly. DH and I both swam in college, and I had a lot of concerns that she might feel pressured, but she LOVES it. She asks to go to every meet she meets the qualifications for, and we usually allow it. If nothing else, her confidence has skyrocketed.

This weekend, we overheard another parent make a nasty comment about her times, and how they couldn't believe she was at this particular meet, because the park district pool was more her speed. Again, her coaches were aware. She met the requirements. She was not even the slowest swimmer, by far.

30+ years ago, what she/we are doing would have fine. But it made me wonder if there has been some unspoken cultural shift that says only "good" swimmers should attend meets at at elite pools. What does DCUM think?

How ok are you with awkward conversations? I'd personally engage the parent. Ask about their kid. Remind them that genetics matter and that your slow swimmer has a much better chance of swimming in college in 10 years than their fast swimmer

It's rude to blame someone's bad behavior on genetics. Ask them why the are so wrapped up in the life of a child they don't even know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's been on the team for less than a year and isn't very good, to put it mildly. DH and I both swam in college, and I had a lot of concerns that she might feel pressured, but she LOVES it. She asks to go to every meet she meets the qualifications for, and we usually allow it. If nothing else, her confidence has skyrocketed.

This weekend, we overheard another parent make a nasty comment about her times, and how they couldn't believe she was at this particular meet, because the park district pool was more her speed. Again, her coaches were aware. She met the requirements. She was not even the slowest swimmer, by far.

30+ years ago, what she/we are doing would have fine. But it made me wonder if there has been some unspoken cultural shift that says only "good" swimmers should attend meets at at elite pools. What does DCUM think?

If your kid is there it's not an elite pool. They can go somewhere else to avoid the commoners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is annoying when a slow swimmer is in a long race that they clearly don’t belong in….but I blame the coaches not the parents when that happens

Yes. Like a kid with NT in the 100 fly and a 50 fly over a minute signed up for the 200 fly.

agreed as long as this isn't the scenario then all is good. Ignore any negative chatter around you. You just never know when that "slow" young swimmer drops 15 seconds in a 100.

This is in fact exactly what she's doing as her technique improves.

Ok, we'll try to ignore. I was just caught off guard!

[Anonymous]

OP, I was a college swimmer and I think this is just one of those adjustments that you have to make going from the kids side to the parent side of a sport. You’re going to see it all through a very different lens and deal with different challenges. The crazy and rude parents were around back when we were swimming too; we were just oblivious and enjoying ourselves. I volunteer at meets so I don’t have to deal with parent gossip. love being closer to the action anyway as it brings back the good memories.

A lot has changed in youth sports but the fact remains that no one should be getting too excited about a 9 year old’s swimming, especially for girls. Puberty will not be kind to some of these age group stars. You and I both know that love for the sport is what carries you through for the long haul.

[Anonymous]

What a jerk parent.

Ignore.

Someone's got to be the slowest swimmer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is annoying when a slow swimmer is in a long race that they clearly don’t belong in….but I blame the coaches not the parents when that happens

Who are you to judge where they don't belong? If they're legal and either meet a minimum time standard or no prior time is required, then they belong there if the coach thinks they're ready. Instead of being a horrible person in the stands, cheer on that kid who is clearly challenging themselves doing something hard. Celebrate the achievement and the effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was a college swimmer and I think this is just one of those adjustments that you have to make going from the kids side to the parent side of a sport. You’re going to see it all through a very different lens and deal with different challenges. The crazy and rude parents were around back when we were swimming too; we were just oblivious and enjoying ourselves. I volunteer at meets so I don’t have to deal with parent gossip. love being closer to the action anyway as it brings back the good memories.

A lot has changed in youth sports but the fact remains that no one should be getting too excited about a 9 year old’s swimming, especially for girls. Puberty will not be kind to some of these age group stars. You and I both know that love for the sport is what carries you through for the long haul.

This is really helpful, thanks. It's true we just didn't know what parents were saying - definitely for the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is annoying when a slow swimmer is in a long race that they clearly don’t belong in….but I blame the coaches not the parents when that happens

Who are you to judge where they don't belong? If they're legal and either meet a minimum time standard or no prior time is required, then they belong there if the coach thinks they're ready. Instead of being a horrible person in the stands, cheer on that kid who is clearly challenging themselves doing something hard. Celebrate the achievement and the effort.

DP. I see this most often when a kid is legal because it’s freestyle, but it is clear that the kid isn’t ready for the distance of the event. This is a tangent, but swimming as a sport has a problem with the length of the meets. It’s hard to keep swimmers engaged through the course of a 3-4 hour meet, let alone the idea that you can keep fans engaged. More should be done to further tighten up the length of meets, and the easiest place to start is to not put kids in events that they are not ready for. Coaches should get unofficial times in practice and there should be a “cut” that a kid has to get before being entered in the event in a meet. A 5 minute 200 freestyle should not be happening at a meet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the mean parent - you should know you know more than that person - so I am not sure if you're a troll.

Our swimming experience is decades out of date!

I ran track in college, and I still think my knowledge is generally relevant LOL.