Family wedding

[Anonymous]

I would be surprised and disappointed too. A weekend in a city three hours away is fairly inexpensive and not very inconvenient. Pretty lame to not show up.

[Anonymous]

My DH also has 6 siblings. Most of the kids/nephews and nieces are grown. It would be unusual to have all 6 of the uncles/aunts at a wedding. Definitely not all of the cousins. It would probably be more than 2, but I don’t think there has ever been one with all 6…

However, I’d say DH’s family is less close than the average family….there is a large age gap between the original 7 siblings, very different life stages throughout adulthood. Some siblings and their families are closer than others. I barely know some of the nieces/nephews TBH- I’d struggle to describe basic details about many. I know some of his siblings very well, others not very well at all. We’ve been married 20yrs and DH is the youngest in his family. Honestly, there are just so many people, and so many functions over the years that it would be impossible for all to attend everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m pricing airline tickets to attend my nephew’s wedding this summer and wish I had the guts to say nope, can’t do it! Would not go over well, but weddings have become insanely expensive for guests.

Ok but this is a three hour drive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Wouldn't fit in" and "the city's a racket" are roundabout ways to say that it's TOO EXPENSIVE FOR THEM to travel, get a hotel, buy nice clothes and gifts, park their cars, etc, in that major city.

How on earth did you miss that, OP?

The “racket” just returned from a European trip.
The “trucker” does just fine.

I didn’t miss anything.

Then her money was spent on a trip.
Why is this an issue for you to get upset about?
A lot of folks did not attend my wedding for various reasons. We still love each other and have a relationship beyond that day. Grow up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Wouldn't fit in" and "the city's a racket" are roundabout ways to say that it's TOO EXPENSIVE FOR THEM to travel, get a hotel, buy nice clothes and gifts, park their cars, etc, in that major city.

How on earth did you miss that, OP?

The “racket” just returned from a European trip.
The “trucker” does just fine.

I didn’t miss anything.

People are allowed to spend their own money on what they want. I’d rather go to Europe than a family wedding too.

I’d be pissed if a family member did this.

Then you need to grow up. You are obligating folk to spend money for your event. Instead of how they may want or planned on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH also has 6 siblings. Most of the kids/nephews and nieces are grown. It would be unusual to have all 6 of the uncles/aunts at a wedding. Definitely not all of the cousins. It would probably be more than 2, but I don’t think there has ever been one with all 6…

However, I’d say DH’s family is less close than the average family….there is a large age gap between the original 7 siblings, very different life stages throughout adulthood. Some siblings and their families are closer than others. I barely know some of the nieces/nephews TBH- I’d struggle to describe basic details about many. I know some of his siblings very well, others not very well at all. We’ve been married 20yrs and DH is the youngest in his family. Honestly, there are just so many people, and so many functions over the years that it would be impossible for all to attend everything.

I understand this. There are 11 grandchildren. However, this is the second wedding of the grandkids. Our daughter was married 12 years ago.
They aren’t super close but close enough so that most of them want to see each other.
Weddings are pretty big. But guess not big to some.
I just feel that ppl should show up for each other and if it makes one uncomfortable to be out of your comfort zone, so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Wouldn't fit in" and "the city's a racket" are roundabout ways to say that it's TOO EXPENSIVE FOR THEM to travel, get a hotel, buy nice clothes and gifts, park their cars, etc, in that major city.

How on earth did you miss that, OP?

The “racket” just returned from a European trip.
The “trucker” does just fine.

I didn’t miss anything.

Then her money was spent on a trip.
Why is this an issue for you to get upset about?
A lot of folks did not attend my wedding for various reasons. We still love each other and have a relationship beyond that day. Grow up!

Did you read the entire thread? It wasn’t about money. She didn’t want to go because she doesn’t like driving in the city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Wouldn't fit in" and "the city's a racket" are roundabout ways to say that it's TOO EXPENSIVE FOR THEM to travel, get a hotel, buy nice clothes and gifts, park their cars, etc, in that major city.

How on earth did you miss that, OP?

The “racket” just returned from a European trip.
The “trucker” does just fine.

I didn’t miss anything.

Then her money was spent on a trip.
Why is this an issue for you to get upset about?
A lot of folks did not attend my wedding for various reasons. We still love each other and have a relationship beyond that day. Grow up!

Did you read the entire thread? It wasn’t about money. She didn’t want to go because she doesn’t like driving in the city.

Ok she has anxiety , get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH also has 6 siblings. Most of the kids/nephews and nieces are grown. It would be unusual to have all 6 of the uncles/aunts at a wedding. Definitely not all of the cousins. It would probably be more than 2, but I don’t think there has ever been one with all 6…

However, I’d say DH’s family is less close than the average family….there is a large age gap between the original 7 siblings, very different life stages throughout adulthood. Some siblings and their families are closer than others. I barely know some of the nieces/nephews TBH- I’d struggle to describe basic details about many. I know some of his siblings very well, others not very well at all. We’ve been married 20yrs and DH is the youngest in his family. Honestly, there are just so many people, and so many functions over the years that it would be impossible for all to attend everything.

I understand this. There are 11 grandchildren. However, this is the second wedding of the grandkids. Our daughter was married 12 years ago.
They aren’t super close but close enough so that most of them want to see each other.
Weddings are pretty big. But guess not big to some.
I just feel that ppl should show up for each other and if it makes one uncomfortable to be out of your comfort zone, so be it.

So who died and made you the arbiter of other people’s discomfort, relationships, time and money?
There are a million people in that family and you are sitting high and looking low judging what people are doing and the quality of their relationships based on that. You must be very special.

[Anonymous]

For some weddings, we have rented a house nearby and invited relatives to crash. You never know who might be able to come to a wedding if accommodations are covered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has 6 siblings. A nephew is getting married and two of the siblings are attending, (including us and our 4 kids with two SO) even though everyone was invited.
It’s 3 hours away for everyone, except one Hawaii sibling.
I simply cannot believe three of the siblings aren’t attending. It’s in a major city.
I’d be so mad.
One is a trucker and said he wouldn’t fit in, one thinks the city is a racket (no idea what she means by that) and the other - who knows.
It’s so very odd.

In this case, you're the odd ball. It is out of line for you to judge this family. In a lot of large families, cousins aren't that close and not everyone will attend a niece or nephews wedding. When families move apart it is less likely that extended family will attend.

You sound like you are from a small village somewhere where no one ever leaves.

Oddly enough, we left the hometown and they still live there.

Good for you girl. Good for you.

[Anonymous]

They sound like MAGAs. Nephew won’t miss them. Probably happy they aren’t attending.

[Anonymous]

You don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives. I didn’t attend two family weddings that weren’t local because they would be expensive and conflicted with weekends for important events for my kids. Think of things like missing the first day of school or a major event in high school. My mother didn’t understand how we didn’t prioritize a wedding. I prioritized my kids.