Kids Have No Interest In UMC Activities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gone skiing exactly twice in my life, haven’t played tennis in over 15 years, can’t play piano, have only ever played mini golf, and yet still manage to be UMC. This month I talked with a law partner about Britney Spears, and another about Married at First Sight. Next week I will officially be a law partner too.

Congrats, PP!

OP, the devices need to go off more often, during week and a weekend day/week or weekend/month that you do family activities. Your kids probably complained about brushing teeth but hopefully you were not such a pushover there. If these are hobbies you enjoy as a family, as someone else said, tell them to get ready or they lose devices. Where is DH in all of this?

[Anonymous]

I learned to ski as a kid, but I can safely say as an adult that there’s never been a time it’s “come in handy.” My DH grew up wealthy—his family even had a vacation home at a ski resort—and he doesn’t know how to ski. Plenty of people don’t care about skiing, and climate change could have some big effects on the viability of skiing as a pastime in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you should try to find activities they like and not activities you think a certain income bracket should do.

Agree. Maybe the focus should be activities that are not video games, not just a certain set of activities. There are plenty of life-long activities they can start as teens.

+1

The sports I’ve continued the longest - and been the most successful at - I started in high school (and one in college). It’s not too late at all to develop meaningful activities and hobbies. But you have to put your foot down about the screen time. I get that it’s hard, especially with older kids. You can do it.

[Anonymous]

Huh. We are UMC and so none of those things. Are we supposed to? My kids are otherwise very busy lol

[Anonymous]

I did not grow up UMC and I played tennis, violin, and piano. Was I not supposed to?

My kids ski, play piano, and take tennis over the summer. Yes, sometimes they whine about skiing. I don't care. They need to get their behinds outside.

[Anonymous]

The speech I give my kids a lot and am adjusting to your situation:
“There’s a whole world out there. Instead of going to explore what’s out there, you’re playing a video game the creators made a long time ago (googles game), in 2021.”

And secondarily: “how about a little of both? (Building up momentum, maybe gathering out their warm clothes), You go with us today, I’ll leave you alone about video games over the NY weekend.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm reminded that a friend told me her kid complained constantly about tennis lessons until he got to high school and wanted to be on a varsity sport. Only then was he grateful.

That was me.  I grew up poor in China and dreamed about golf, tennis, music instruments but they were just dreams.  When I got to UNC Chapel Hill, I used my stipend money to purchase a used guitar and started learning the Beatles and Pink Floyd.  I caught the eye of a pretty white female student on campus, who is now my wife, got married and it allowed me to stay in the United States.  We have two boys and one girl and I made them take tennis, golf and music lessons (piano and guitar) at the age of five until they finished high school, no exception.  Both my sons and daughter fought with me like cat and dog until they entered high school.  Both boys were on the golf varsity team in the fall and varsity tennis in the spring while my daughter played on the girl varsity tennis team.  My boys won the tennis double 6A and team championship in their freshmen and junior year while my daughter won the state championship at her private school three years in a row.  They were very grateful that I did not let them quit golf, tennis and music.  Both boys graduated from UVA and daughter from UNC CH and they are doing extremely well financially.  The boys told me that they play golf with the company CEO and CFO at least once a month and that they get promoted quickly because of who they know. To OP, do not give up on your kid(s), you have to force them to do it. They might hate you now but when they enter high school, they will be very grateful to you. The ability to play music and being on the varsity team will get them girls.

Btw, if you have Asian friends, you will very likely see a piano, violin, viola, or Cello in their house.  That's just the way it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The speech I give my kids a lot and am adjusting to your situation:
“There’s a whole world out there. Instead of going to explore what’s out there, you’re playing a video game the creators made a long time ago (googles game), in 2021.”

And secondarily: “how about a little of both? (Building up momentum, maybe gathering out their warm clothes), You go with us today, I’ll leave you alone about video games over the NY weekend.”

Me again. This is my speech, but it’s usually about a YT video. “So this guy released this video 3 months ago, probably made it months before that…. And you have to watch it today? Right now? No. And he’s going to create videos faster than you can watch them. You’re giving up your life to make that guy a bunch of money for him and his business team? He gets to go explore stuff and you sit here just consuming it. No.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you say “let’s go play basketball” or “let’s go for a hike” or “let’s play a card game” and your kids are fine with it, then your Kids are perfectly fine and you are a snob.

But if when you say those things they refuse for video games, then your problem isn’t umc activities, it is too many video games.

I think this is the actually problem. Kids not wanting to do anything besides video games is a huge problem. OP you just have to force them. Either they pick an activity or you will pick for them.

[Anonymous]

We are UMC and don’t do any of that. I’ve never been skiing and don’t want to go. I dislike the cold. Neither of mine took piano lessons because I had to as a kid and didn’t like it. No tennis either.

We do go on tropical vacations and they play sports that they want to play. They spend a lot of time online too, because they are teens and that’s how they talk to friends.

[Anonymous]

Do they like other sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you say “let’s go play basketball” or “let’s go for a hike” or “let’s play a card game” and your kids are fine with it, then your Kids are perfectly fine and you are a snob.

But if when you say those things they refuse for video games, then your problem isn’t umc activities, it is too many video games.

I think this is the actually problem. Kids not wanting to do anything besides video games is a huge problem. OP you just have to force them. Either they pick an activity or you will pick for them.

Right. There are so many more interesting hobbies than the typical skiing, tennis, golfing, etc. Some kids are into theater, fencing, archery, sculpting, etc. Maybe your kids didn't like piano but would have rocked the electric guitar.

I would not say video games are a problem in general, because I'll bet if they go into CS that's a good way to bond, but the problem is that they won't do anything else.

[Anonymous]

We focus on surfing and sailing it’s more upper classy and better suited for the future climate.🤷‍♂️

[Anonymous]

We have never allowed our kids to have any video games, no consoles or apps on their phones that are video games. This keepsthem reading and playing a lot of sports, plus doing random crafty things and hanging out with friends. We also tell them when we are doing a family activity like taking a hike or going skiing and don’t ask for their input.

[Anonymous]

We can’t afford skiing so my kids have never skied. They are taking tennis lessons but hate it.