Why don’t men move for others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PP who tried the social experiment is correct - most males are just not accustomed to having to make way. It's like man-spreading in public. They aren't overtly trying to be rude, they are just unwitting and since no one is challenging them, haven't modified the behavior.

Every now and then I'll do the same as pp and just knock the hell out of a few shoulders.

I shoulder check men who are needlessly encroaching on my half of the sidewalk all the time. I also like to square up and barrel forcefully toward them if they are in my half. I don't veer to the right or turn my shoulders. If they don't change course to avoid me, I crash into them hard and continue on.

No way this is true unless you are very large or targeting elderly men and middle school boys. Any day on the Metro you see women bounced from the middle to the side just from oblivious walkers.

Also, I seriously doubt you are doing this on the streets of DC as you would have had a confrontation by now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you should stop being a whiny passive aggressive snot and simply say 'excuse me'.

You’re missing the point. OP is talking about situations where she is just seeking to maintain her personal space. She isn’t trying to get around anyone. People are expecting her to shift around (or maybe just move through the wall she is backed up against!). She is talking about other people who should be asking THE MAN HOGGING THE AISLE to move.

They should say excuse me and direct it at the manspreader. Why does she have to take care of directing traffic?

Do you not realize that other men have to deal with this guy blocking the aisle too?

Except instead of spinning up some crazy victimhood complex then dwelling on it and whining about it, we just tap the guy and say “yo! gotta get by you!” ……. and the guy moves. And you walk past him. Done.


That’s how men deal with men doing that. You can too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's less chance the woman will stab you, scream in your face, etc.

Clearly you’ve never met my ex wife or at least half a dozen of my past girlfriends.

To be fair, I admit to doing things that made them insanely mad at me to the point of being stabbed by two different women - one with a fork the other with a pencil. I had it coming, TBH. But there is a little bit of that in every woman. And I seem to gravitate towards them, my current wife being no exception.


But if this is occurring at a social setting like a party or other event, you’d be amazed how effective a simple pat on the shoulder followed by “hey I gotta squeeze past you” can be in getting folks to move.

So much easier to do this than spend the evening stewing over it. Try it next time.

I see that in addition to your misogyny you cannot read.

I’m not a misogynist. I struggle with monogamy.

But that doesn’t mean I’m a misogynist, nor did anything I wrote paint me as a misogynist. You should really make an effort to understand words. You won’t seem as dumb to strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some interesting reading here. I decided to run an experiment today in my neighborhood shopping center, crowded with returns. I held my path and did not yield. I’m average height for female but put y hands in my coat pockets so that my elbows were slightly out.

You can guess what happened. Three males and one female also did not make way, or more accurately, veered into my right-side lane, and met my elbows. I just kept moving.

Liberating!

You sound utterly childish.

[Anonymous]

I don’t shoulder check men, but I do stay on my path and if someone is directly walking toward me and isn’t swerving, I stop where I am and wait for him to go around, rather than moving myself. Usually on a sidewalk, not at the metro station where I would cause a jam. It works, but the guys are confused about what they are supposed to do at first. Too funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PP who tried the social experiment is correct - most males are just not accustomed to having to make way. It's like man-spreading in public. They aren't overtly trying to be rude, they are just unwitting and since no one is challenging them, haven't modified the behavior.

Every now and then I'll do the same as pp and just knock the hell out of a few shoulders.

I shoulder check men who are needlessly encroaching on my half of the sidewalk all the time. I also like to square up and barrel forcefully toward them if they are in my half. I don't veer to the right or turn my shoulders. If they don't change course to avoid me, I crash into them hard and continue on.

Same.
I got tired of always being the one to move. Now I walk fast, look straight ahead, and squared my shoulders. People either move or they get hit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And why don’t people expect them to? In a crowded room, there is a really tall man who is clearly obviously holding up traffic. I am smack up against a wall already. Why do people expect me to move from my spot when the clueless unaware man could easily move 6” to accommodate traffic?

Why does the woman have to move? If I just hold my ground, I feel totally within the bounds of polite behavior.

Should I just tell them, hey I believe that guy is actually in your way. I have only a wall behind me.

The same reason they spread their legs.

[Anonymous]

I see this all the time at the grocery store I go to, which has somewhat narrow aisles. If there is someone who is absently and unnecessarily blocking the aisle with their cart splayed across the middle of the aisle so no one else can pass, 95% of the time it's a man (even though well less than half of the shoppers there are men).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PP who tried the social experiment is correct - most males are just not accustomed to having to make way. It's like man-spreading in public. They aren't overtly trying to be rude, they are just unwitting and since no one is challenging them, haven't modified the behavior.

Every now and then I'll do the same as pp and just knock the hell out of a few shoulders.

I’m the PP, and I agree with this. I also agree with the PP who wondered if men yielded to other men more than they yielded to women. I don’t even think you need to walk like a man to see this. Just park yourself at the a busy train station and see what happens. By far, women are turning their shoulders, adjusting their pace, and stepping aside for men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t shoulder check men, but I do stay on my path and if someone is directly walking toward me and isn’t swerving, I stop where I am and wait for him to go around, rather than moving myself. Usually on a sidewalk, not at the metro station where I would cause a jam. It works, but the guys are confused about what they are supposed to do at first. Too funny.

I find that people of all ages and genders seem increasingly oblivious to spatial realities. I do as the above poster on sidewalks—if I am with someone and we have encroached into the other side, I move over. If someone encroaches into my area, I either stop or just keep walking. I don’t find that one gender is any more likely to be unawar/entitled than others. I do observe that kids who are under 3 ft tall generally are unaware of any obstacle, human or not, that is taller than they.

DH and I laugh about spatial snafus at Trader Joe’s in particular. Something about that store inspires grocery tourism in which only about 15% of shoppers have any idea where they are in relation to anyone else in the store.

[Anonymous]

Y'all need to be more civilized. I see this kind of behavior with my dogs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y'all need to be more civilized. I see this kind of behavior with my dogs.

Please don't insult our sweet dogs. Our labs, shelties, and beagles would not be so rude.

[Anonymous]

Men are horrible!

[Anonymous]

This is absolutely real. I’ve seen my own husband nearly barrel down an old woman and act oblivious when I call him out on it. Trying to train my boys to be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PP who tried the social experiment is correct - most males are just not accustomed to having to make way. It's like man-spreading in public. They aren't overtly trying to be rude, they are just unwitting and since no one is challenging them, haven't modified the behavior.

Every now and then I'll do the same as pp and just knock the hell out of a few shoulders.

As a pretty unobservant (spaced out, per DH) person and walker, I think I may from time to time have conducted this social experiment inadvertently, and yes it's usually men that are the issue. Only for me, the resulting shoulder check is a shock too--so you have some dude and me staring at each other, both wondering, where the heck did you come from?