How often do you talk to your out of state 30Yo+ children esp if …

[Anonymous]

I’m 40 with kids. My parents NEVER call me. They’re divorced. I’d worry if I got a call from my parents.

I probably call my parents once every 2-3 weeks to say hi. My mom texts occasionally, usually about some worrying thing she saw about dc in the news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once a month, maybe more around holidays if setting up plans.

This seems reasonable.

This is me. 36 year old woman. Three kids under five and a demanding full time job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody on DCUM interacts with their parents outside of asking if they can use their beach house.

NP. Yeah, this isn’t a great place to understand how close families work. Most posters seem to care most about their upcoming inheritances more than anything. They don’t seem to have any genuine affection for their family members. I’ve always found the coldness remarkable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow! I FaceTime my mom every night after I’ve put my own kids to sleep. And before he became ill I spoke to my dad daily. My husband calls his parents 3-4 times a week! We just love them and know they are in their late 70s/80s and our days are counted. Do some people really only call their parents once a month? That makes me so sad!

Do people really FT their parents daily? That makes me so sad that they are so enmeshed!

I truly, truly don’t understand this. We live in the world we live in and you are sad about someone’s positive familial relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow! I FaceTime my mom every night after I’ve put my own kids to sleep. And before he became ill I spoke to my dad daily. My husband calls his parents 3-4 times a week! We just love them and know they are in their late 70s/80s and our days are counted. Do some people really only call their parents once a month? That makes me so sad!

Do people really FT their parents daily? That makes me so sad that they are so enmeshed!

I truly, truly don’t understand this. We live in the world we live in and you are sad about someone’s positive familial relationship?

You are assuming that the relationship is positive. Talking this much may not be healthy at all (YMMV) but may seem like it on the outside. Like a PP I’ve seen where it’s a transactional/fear of being disinherited situation. I’ve seen people who cannot make a simple decision without having their parents involved (reminds me of a Jake from State Farm commercial where the husband is calling his mom again instead of consulting with his wife). And a couple of these people were 40-50yo. Sometimes it seemed as if they might be co-sleeping with their parents still bc they were so entwined.

[Anonymous]

I’m 40, grew up LMC and have a lot of brothers and sisters- I don’t expect to inherit anything. I have small children who love FaceTiming and it doesn’t cause dysregulation for them. We FaceTime almost daily with grandparents. They really love it.

When they are older they might not still love it and we will cut back.

[Anonymous]

Would really like to hear more about DCUM’s children.

[Anonymous]

Once every 4-6 weeks, we're not close.

[Anonymous]

Pretty much never every 5-6 months maybe.

[Anonymous]

I talk to my parents 1-3 times a week. DH talks to his parents about once a month, but the ILs see their local kids 2-5 times a week and talk to them multiple times a day.
I text with a few cousins and email aunts a few times a year. I don’t like speaking on the phone.

[Anonymous]

I (39F) talk to my mom (68) at least once daily. It's not uncommon for us to speak more than that, with additional phone calls and we're always texting. My dad (70) doesn't like talking, to anyone, ever, so I only speak to him on the phone weekly.

My mom also talks to my oldest son daily as well. It's beautiful what a close relationship they have and I am so thankful for that.

It's very sad that people feel like they cannot communicate with their parents or children more frequently, or else they're "enmeshed".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 40 with kids. My parents NEVER call me. They’re divorced. I’d worry if I got a call from my parents.

I probably call my parents once every 2-3 weeks to say hi. My mom texts occasionally, usually about some worrying thing she saw about dc in the news.

Why do you think that is? I ask because neither parents call my spouse and I either..unless they need something.

[Anonymous]

We are an immigrant family. I am 40+ with 2 kids, call my parents daily (it’s usually my mom who I talk to, but sometimes dad too if I need to tell a story). I talk to
My sibling weekly. DH’s family is local, and he calls them several times a week. The parents are divorced but cordial. They’d tell each other anything about us if he did not have time to say to them both. I don’t like my MIL otherwise I’d call more, but we talk monthly. I want to talk to my kids when they grow up, so hopefully they will call me.