My mom and husband have the same birthday and my mom always "seems to forget"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares.

Maybe o one has cared about your moms bday for so long so doesn’t have the energy to do other peoples bday Hellos, lunches, cards, presents.

You’re a terrible fiction writer. Don’t quit your day job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if this is stating the obvious but she sounds like a b***h based on 1) her insistence that grown children celebrate her birthday on command; and 2) her response that you can celebrate him a different day. I doubt she is actually forgetting

Don't you ever get tired of needing to be on every MIL board calling them a B. Enough already.

Found the defensive MIL! (who will now lie and claim to be a DIL, but who has already given herself away)
DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if this is stating the obvious but she sounds like a b***h based on 1) her insistence that grown children celebrate her birthday on command; and 2) her response that you can celebrate him a different day. I doubt she is actually forgetting

Don't you ever get tired of needing to be on every MIL board calling them a B. Enough already.

Found the defensive MIL! (who will now lie and claim to be a DIL, but who has already given herself away)
DP

A different DP. I’m sort of sick of the MIL bashing too. And no, I’m not a MIL and probably won’t be one any time soon.

That said, OP’s mom is clearly in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you send the group text a month before? You need to initiate this.

Say,” looking forward to celebrating mom’s birthday! Would brunch on x oy y work to get together? She likes Italian, so how about __ restaurant. The kids are really excited to celebrate their meemaw’s special birthday. The 13th doesn’t work for us as I’m taking dh out for his birthday.”

I agree that your mom has issues. But you also seem to want the drama or you would not be letting yourself wake up to that text each year. It seems like you’re a local family and may meet often. Not sure why you would not think of the overlap until that morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you send the group text a month before? You need to initiate this.

Seriously. Her birthday comes every year and you’re just ignoring it. It’s your mom. If you don’t want to celebrate on the day of, whether it be because of your husbands birthday, big work project, a school play, or whatever, just initiate something that will work for you.

And I don’t get how the actual birthday of an adult is such a holy day. I mean, you go out the day before, the day after, on the weekend - for both your husband and your mom. And you can arrange for cake and gifts, if you do that, around other events in your day. And you can be nice and helpful all year round so that there is no need to be ever present and especially helpful on your husband’s birthday.

This dilemma comes up every single year. By the 23rd time, it’s hard to believe you haven’t figured out how to make them both feel special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you send the group text a month before? You need to initiate this.

Seriously. Her birthday comes every year and you’re just ignoring it. It’s your mom. If you don’t want to celebrate on the day of, whether it be because of your husbands birthday, big work project, a school play, or whatever, just initiate something that will work for you.

And I don’t get how the actual birthday of an adult is such a holy day. I mean, you go out the day before, the day after, on the weekend - for both your husband and your mom. And you can arrange for cake and gifts, if you do that, around other events in your day. And you can be nice and helpful all year round so that there is no need to be ever present and especially helpful on your husband’s birthday.

This dilemma comes up every single year. By the 23rd time, it’s hard to believe you haven’t figured out how to make them both feel special.

OP hasn't figured it out because they're a troll and this situation is not real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you send the group text a month before? You need to initiate this.

Seriously. Her birthday comes every year and you’re just ignoring it. It’s your mom. If you don’t want to celebrate on the day of, whether it be because of your husbands birthday, big work project, a school play, or whatever, just initiate something that will work for you.

And I don’t get how the actual birthday of an adult is such a holy day. I mean, you go out the day before, the day after, on the weekend - for both your husband and your mom. And you can arrange for cake and gifts, if you do that, around other events in your day. And you can be nice and helpful all year round so that there is no need to be ever present and especially helpful on your husband’s birthday.

This dilemma comes up every single year. By the 23rd time, it’s hard to believe you haven’t figured out how to make them both feel special.

I don't know, my FIL is really into his birthday, in a way that no other adult I know is. Like it's not enough to go out to eat, he wants actual presents. (No one in family, and no one else in my husband's, gives presents to adults for any occasion whatsoever.) But after many year of marriage, I know this and we plan for it in advance! Agree it's crazy OP can't do this.

[Anonymous]

“Nope - already told the kids our plans. We’ll do the reverse and celebrate yours with you on another day.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you send the group text a month before? You need to initiate this.

Seriously. Her birthday comes every year and you’re just ignoring it. It’s your mom. If you don’t want to celebrate on the day of, whether it be because of your husbands birthday, big work project, a school play, or whatever, just initiate something that will work for you.

And I don’t get how the actual birthday of an adult is such a holy day. I mean, you go out the day before, the day after, on the weekend - for both your husband and your mom. And you can arrange for cake and gifts, if you do that, around other events in your day. And you can be nice and helpful all year round so that there is no need to be ever present and especially helpful on your husband’s birthday.

This dilemma comes up every single year. By the 23rd time, it’s hard to believe you haven’t figured out how to make them both feel special.

I don't know, my FIL is really into his birthday, in a way that no other adult I know is. Like it's not enough to go out to eat, he wants actual presents. (No one in family, and no one else in my husband's, gives presents to adults for any occasion whatsoever.) But after many year of marriage, I know this and we plan for it in advance! Agree it's crazy OP can't do this.

PP here. So is my MIL. So we also plan for it. We all have our something or another that makes us unique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, OP doesn’t have to go, but I don’t think it’s terrible that OP’s mom invited her to dinner on her birthday. So mom can never host a birthday dinner for herself because OP’s husband has the same birthday?

You are being disingenuous. Are you generally a manipulative person or do you just save it for dcum?

Her mother didn't invite her. She summoned her. Op's mother expects her to be there without her kids and to ignore her dh's bd.

[Anonymous]

OP, would it be better if you were left off the invite email? Or worse, she mentions in the email that she knows you and DH probably can't make it because of his birthday. Wouldn't you then complain that she's being passive-aggressive?

Get ahead of it every year like pps said. This doesn't have to be a big deal every year.

[Anonymous]

I mean, you already have plans to celebrate your husband's birthday, you can take mom out another day. It's so easy. Grow a spine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if this is stating the obvious but she sounds like a b***h based on 1) her insistence that grown children celebrate her birthday on command; and 2) her response that you can celebrate him a different day. I doubt she is actually forgetting

Don't you ever get tired of needing to be on every MIL board calling them a B. Enough already.

Found the defensive MIL! (who will now lie and claim to be a DIL, but who has already given herself away)
DP

A different DP. I’m sort of sick of the MIL bashing too. And no, I’m not a MIL and probably won’t be one any time soon.

That said, OP’s mom is clearly in the wrong.

I'm another DP and agree, tired of the constant MIL bashing on this site.

[Anonymous]

What have you done for the past 20 years, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if this is stating the obvious but she sounds like a b***h based on 1) her insistence that grown children celebrate her birthday on command; and 2) her response that you can celebrate him a different day. I doubt she is actually forgetting

Don't you ever get tired of needing to be on every MIL board calling them a B. Enough already.

This is her own mother, not her mother in law, learn how to read.