41 years old and still clueless about what to do with my life

[Anonymous]

Op, I completely understand. Something I find fulfilling is pouring extra energy into helping out friends/family or hosting them well when they need some respite. I don't even like hosting but I know how to make someone feel comfortable and welcome and it's a great time of year to be there for someone you think might need it.

[Anonymous]

OP i’d start with an entry level job at a nonprofit you like and take it from there. It is very hard to understand the nuances of different jobs from the outside of the job market.

[Anonymous]

I worked at a foundation where all the fundraisers were wealthy women.

[Anonymous]

The coolest jobs for someone who doesn’t need to support a family are academia/research in liberal arts subjects IMO. I would have loved this career - write and research in archeology or classical languages, but comparative literature, linguistics, art history and history sound equally interesting. But it would be difficult to get on this track at a later age, especially classical languages due to the aging brain and fierce competition for such positions. Anyway, those would have been my dream jobs but I needed to make a living, so I went into law.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you treat your quest for self-fulfillment like a full time job for a bit? It sounds like the world is your oyster right now. You have a broad idea of what you enjoy and what feels restrictive, so why not plan out your days in a structured way to include research, experiential learning, day trips, even mundane exposure to anything and everything that piques your interest.

You acknowledge your good fortunate and opportunity, and your concern for stagnation. What seems to be missing is a bit of ambition and ingenuity, but years of the childcare grind will do that to you! I'm unfortunately not in your same position, but I know if I had 5-6 hours freed up every day I have a backlog of topics to pursue that could be a springboard to formal education, a potential alternate career, a passion project/community service, or even just a fulfilling hobby. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my office job, just saying.

Yeah, me, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you work or volunteer in museum or library/bookstore? It forces you out of the house and doesn’t take up your life.

Or hospital

[Anonymous]

Find your joy and do that - it does not have to be strategic to lead to a job or career.

Get out there and do what you love and you’ll find opportunities that may never even have occurred to you.

Also, elementary age is not that old - there is still a lot of parenting to do - many parents feel kids need them even more as the kids enter their teens. But it is up to you whether you want to keep parenting as a ‘SAH’.

And, while maybe not a mid-life crisis, this is part of a change that is going on - and those changes will keep happening as the kids grow and eventually leave. Enjoy all of that and try not to worry. Easier said than done. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am missing out who is doing your housecleaning, cooking, paying bills, Xmas cards, planning kid parties, play dates, religious classes, sports, making kids lunches, helping kids homework, walking and feeding dog, managing house repairmen. kids dr appointments? My wife was busy in that 9-3 window everyday when kids in elementary school. If not a well deserved nap.

My wife when 41 and kids in elementary school did get bored being SAHM her answer was to have another baby at 42.

I feel sorry for your wife.

[Anonymous]

A friend is transitioning (after career in one field then sahm for 15 years with some p/t work toward the end) to teaching ESL. Lots of potentially fulfilling/interesting (but low paid) work with immigrant and refugee communities in this area.

[Anonymous]

Another thought: are you organized? Professional organizer and maybe donate services to single parents from time to time…

Work with elderly (nabor force)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am missing out who is doing your housecleaning, cooking, paying bills, Xmas cards, planning kid parties, play dates, religious classes, sports, making kids lunches, helping kids homework, walking and feeding dog, managing house repairmen. kids dr appointments? My wife was busy in that 9-3 window everyday when kids in elementary school. If not a well deserved nap.

My wife when 41 and kids in elementary school did get bored being SAHM her answer was to have another baby at 42.

I am missing out on where your expectation that only one parent has to parent comes from? Did you time travel yesterday from 1952 or are you just a douche bag?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Have you considered substitute teaching? It’s definitely not an office job and you wouldn’t have to commit to every day.

Possibly the worse suggestion ever. Are you aware that there are droves of teachers leaving the profession? Experienced teachers who are so burned out by kids’ behavior and academic problems following covid? And somehow you’re suggesting that this sahm should become a sub?! Ok

The burnt out teacher has entered the chat.

Leave PP alone. I think it is a viable suggestion for a sahm with a masters degree who wants to explore. As a parent, I would prefer a kind sahm substitute rather than districts cancelling school or shifting to remote options because they could not find substitute teachers.

Of course you would prefer a ‘kind sahm substitute’ but it’s not what’s best for her is it?

I’m actually not a teacher myself but I truly feel sorry for what our teachers are up against in the current state of our public schools. How could a ‘kind sahm’ handle it if real teachers can’t even do it?

With patience and respect that these are children who deserve an education.

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