Blue collar family did not ask for our college admissions insights or advice

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11/21/2023 15:05

Subject: Blue collar family did not ask for our college admissions insights or advice

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone offended by OPs attitude, you may not get it. A lot of people think that applying to any college is the same; it isn’t. A successful application to George Mason can be ripped out in moments, but not one for a highly selective school. Successfully applying to a highly selective school takes advanced planning and careful application work. Most average families have no clue about this. That’s why they keep going to the same schools and repeating the same patterns of their parents. Half the job of doing better in life is to expand your worldview to know what is possible and how to achieve it.

Thank you for snob-splaining elite college admission to a forum full of people who are in fact very knowledgeable about elite college admission. I can’t even with the “plebes and poors just need to expand their worldview”/ let them eat cake attitude. You need to talk down this forum. Most us do get it. We just also think OP has a terrible attitude toward relatives they consider lesser than. And that OP doesn’t need to talk down or patronizing explain things to her “blue collar” relatives. Having less money doesn’t make them idiots. Any advice worth getting meets people where they are. It never seems to dawn on OP (or you) that different people have have different priorities. And if OP does need to stop, reflect, and accep that a “good” outcome can be measured in a myriad of different way.

Both of you are obnoxious because you think you know what is best for everyone else, and have no clue that other people have different priorities than you and your family. And that not everyone wants to be you or your kids.

— signed UMC DMV whose kids did very well in college admissions by DCUM standards. But, who would never presume to wander around telling other people how to live their lives.

This. I've offered to answer any questions BIL/SIL as their son starts college apps since they didn't go to college (DH was first in family) but I also fully recognize that the most likely path is he'll go to ODU and live at home, just like DH did. Or success could mean certificate or apprentice programs through their community college. I would be a bit more assertive about suggesting they take a shot at highly selective schools if I knew he had the kind of stellar academic profile that makes that conversation even worth having but he doesn't (and neither did my kids!). Yeah, merit aid is great and we definitely learned a lot about that and used it for DD to go to the small private she wanted. But, for the most part, merit aid is for affluent, but not very-affluent families, who can pay the $40-$50K for their kids to go away to college.

Of course, those "blue collar" families may also be affluent. My wealthiest relative is an electrician who has built up a very successful electrical contracting company. And one of my nephews does well with his own auto repair business (community college certification, no 4-year college). So you don't always know what is going on and class differences can be hard to navigate between siblings.