How much should I push parents to move closer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eventually you'll have tough decisions to make about how your time is best spent. DH had parents that lived in Canada & the US and he eventually quit his job to take care of them and all of their paperwork spread between two countries. It really was a full-time job and no one else, not their caretakers, attorneys, or investment mangers, was going to take care of things as well as DH.

how has your family swung this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents live in Europe - I am an only child and we live in nyc. Parents have around $15m net worth. They are getting older and need a lot of help but refuse to consider moving and say nyc is too expensive and have no interest in not being in nice apt on upper east side. I have no idea what to do about this. I have a full time very intense job and two elementary kids. Any tips?

ughh selfish boomers amirite?

How on earth is it selfish of them to not want to uproot their entire lives in the place that’s been their home to move to a different country because their child decided to move across the ocean? It’s an unfortunate situation but I’m sure their entire support network is near them. Their doctors, their church/place of worship if they have one, all of their friends. I don’t think younger people realize just how much is being asked when they want their parents to literally move to a different country in their old age. Then they have no one but that child so of course they seem clingy. You don’t just go make a whole new set of friends when you’re seniors.

It turns out that doctors, church, and friends are NOT a support system once people need help with Activities of Daily Living. No one from the church is going to come and help with medications, dressing, grooming etc. Doctors are not going to follow up, they expect the person has family who will help.

Agree. When people say this, they don't realize that dropping off a casserole 1x/2 weeks =/= ADLs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents live in Europe - I am an only child and we live in nyc. Parents have around $15m net worth. They are getting older and need a lot of help but refuse to consider moving and say nyc is too expensive and have no interest in not being in nice apt on upper east side. I have no idea what to do about this. I have a full time very intense job and two elementary kids. Any tips?

ughh selfish boomers amirite?

No you’re not right. You’re mean.

You sound like a lovely daughter. I would respect your parents desire to stay put.It sounds like they have the resources to provide themselves with any needs that should arise.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine anything worse than moving to NY to die. Please let them age in place OP.

[Anonymous]

You planted a seed. Give them time to think.