Trick or treating anxiety. Am I the only one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen to the podcast episode of Cautionary Tales about Halloween. The myth of poisoned candy has been thoroughly debunked.

If you want to worry about something on Halloween, worry about kids being hit by a car because they run across the street without looking. Put a bike light or some glow stick bracelets on your kid and keep them close.

+1
There's a professor who did a huge amount of research. There are literally no instances of poisoned candy. People don't hand out free drugs to little kids on Halloween. This is not a real thing. By all means, check the candy when they get home, but the anxiety is not based on reality.

+2. Remember when local hospitals would let you bring your candy to be x-rayed?

I recall that on the astonishingly RARE time it has happened, it was a family member doing it to their own kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That doesn’t want my child to eat candy from strangers? This will be my child’s first time actually trick or treating (not just trunk or treating). I keep imagining him eating something that someone poisoned or ingesting a drug that someone accidentally gave him. Yes, I do have anxiety. Yes, I’m in therapy and on medication. I was feeling ok about it, but now that Halloween is so close I feel sick about it. Is it crazy to throw his candy in the trash and trade it for some I buy at the store?

Yes, I think you are crazy. I only let my kids go in my neighborhood though. I know most of our neighbors and the cheapest home here is $2.5M and it’s my house. Not a chance folks with that many assets would poison kid’s candy for giggles. The whole thought process is crazy.

[Anonymous]

I think the suburban moms and dads in my neighborhood are way to tired to try to figure out how to get fentanyl for the halloween candy so I'm feeling pretty confident about safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your therapist say?

She says...

(Musically)

Trick or Treat!
Smell my feet!
Give me something good to eat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen to the podcast episode of Cautionary Tales about Halloween. The myth of poisoned candy has been thoroughly debunked.

If you want to worry about something on Halloween, worry about kids being hit by a car because they run across the street without looking. Put a bike light or some glow stick bracelets on your kid and keep them close.

+1
There's a professor who did a huge amount of research. There are literally no instances of poisoned candy. People don't hand out free drugs to little kids on Halloween. This is not a real thing. By all means, check the candy when they get home, but the anxiety is not based on reality.

+2 This is the Cautionary Tales podcast PP mentioned: https://timharford.com/2022/10/cautionary-tales-the-halloween-poisoner/

Nobody poisons kids Halloween candy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That doesn’t want my child to eat candy from strangers? This will be my child’s first time actually trick or treating (not just trunk or treating). I keep imagining him eating something that someone poisoned or ingesting a drug that someone accidentally gave him. Yes, I do have anxiety. Yes, I’m in therapy and on medication. I was feeling ok about it, but now that Halloween is so close I feel sick about it. Is it crazy to throw his candy in the trash and trade it for some I buy at the store?

Not normal. What you fear doesn’t ever happen. Address it without depriving your kid of normal experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the suburban moms and dads in my neighborhood are way to tired to try to figure out how to get fentanyl for the halloween candy so I'm feeling pretty confident about safety.

Plus drugs are expensive! No one gives them away!

[Anonymous]

OP, I feel you, there was a year (maybe early 1980s) when my parents were out of town over Halloween and my siblings and I went trick-or-treating in my grandparents apartment building instead of our neighborhood. My mom was so anxious about the candy! And I was so upset that she wanted to replace it with other candy! It was really a thing when we were growing up.

As an adult with a child of my own (though he’s no longer trick-or-treating age), we always went with friends in our neighborhood, and I never gave any of the candy a second thought. I try to use logic to be your anxiety about this. I don’t think anyone does homemade stuff though because everyone prefers prepackaged candy. I think that’s very reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I feel you, there was a year (maybe early 1980s) when my parents were out of town over Halloween and my siblings and I went trick-or-treating in my grandparents apartment building instead of our neighborhood. My mom was so anxious about the candy! And I was so upset that she wanted to replace it with other candy! It was really a thing when we were growing up.

As an adult with a child of my own (though he’s no longer trick-or-treating age), we always went with friends in our neighborhood, and I never gave any of the candy a second thought. I try to use logic to be your anxiety about this. I don’t think anyone does homemade stuff though because everyone prefers prepackaged candy. I think that’s very reasonable.

That should say, please try to use logic to beat your anxiety about this.

[Anonymous]

You know that is nuts. Don't indulge your craziness. Let your kid get candy - it's SO much fun. Then go through and make sure every piece is fully closed and then let them at it. Everyone is just buying bags of candy at the store, just like you. Nobody is out to drug or hurt little kids.

[Anonymous]

You don't want your issues to rub off on your kid, OP. That is the last thing you should want. Put on a brave face, for your kid.

For most kids, getting the candy and looking at the horde is the whole point, anyway. It isn't so much eating the candy as it is amassing the candy, dumping it on the table at home, and yelling, "See what I got!". By the next day, they're already moving on. My kids kind of forgot about the candy within 48 hours...

Don't make it a big deal.

You can always buy a bag of candy from the grocery store and give your young kid that instead, but that doesn't help you get better at being a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your therapist say?

She said while it’s not impossible, it’s highly, highly unlikely. She also made a good point— That there are many places where we *could”* be poisoned or have harmful things done to us (restaurants, coffee shops, schools, work, etc.), but that, generally, people don’t want to hurt others and everything is fine.

She thinks I’m paranoid because my own mother was so paranoid about Halloween candy. She would THOROUGHLY check each piece with a flashlight and was clearly anxious watching us kids eat it. I remember so much candy being thrown out because it looked “sketchy” or “tampered with”.

.

Your mom passed this anxiety onto you and you will pass that onto your kids unless you stop the cycle. Every time you give into anxiety it gets stronger. Be brave for your kids and don’t let the anxiety win!

[Anonymous]

Do you also grow/farm and cook every single thing your kid eats? You never eat food prepared by others (even at restaurants), and you grow all your own food?

Otherwise, OP your fear does not add up. You have anxiety issues that are incredibly abnormal and irrational.

[Anonymous]

Op: I have issues I seek treatment for. Does anyone else experience this?
PPs: You have issues, seek treatment, that's not right!

Some of you need to check your reactions!

FWIW Op I get very anxious on Halloween too about cars hitting pedestrians in the dark.

[Anonymous]

First, OP, you should not let your anxiety control you. That said, if you have anxiety, are seeing a therapist and are making progress, and you think this is a one-off case, you could consider the option below.

Go and buy a large bag of Halloween candy. When your child comes back, you trade your bag for the candy collected by your child (or if they are really young, and won't notice, then you can swap after they go to sleep). Take the candy collected and find one of those "candy for the troops" donations where you can donate the candy to something useful/positive.

Do not do this if you are not making progress on your anxiety, because this will only subconsciously confirm your anxieties and set you back. You'll feel that you are justified and have a good recourse to validate your anxiety. But, if you and your therapist agree that you are making progress and this won't set you back, you can allay your anxieties in the short term as long as you continue to work on them in the long-term.