Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never married, no kids, work as a nanny but inherited $3 million from my mum (and yes I still work as a nanny). My brother is a giant a-hole and has pretty much said how he expects me to leave his kids/himself my money. Kids who I see once every 2 years because I only see them when I go there, they've never come to see me. In my will, I’m leaving his kids the heirlooms (grandmothers large collection of diamonds, probably 100-150k) but they’re getting zero cash or anything else. I’m leaving everything to a children’s charity, but if I could find a charity benefitting sibling s of sociopaths or a-holes, I’d leave it all to them.

Your mom was a shitty parent for leaving $3 million to one child and $0 to another, who has kids no less (assuming that’s what happened – I’m reading between the lines).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never married, no kids, work as a nanny but inherited $3 million from my mum (and yes I still work as a nanny). My brother is a giant a-hole and has pretty much said how he expects me to leave his kids/himself my money. Kids who I see once every 2 years because I only see them when I go there, they've never come to see me. In my will, I’m leaving his kids the heirlooms (grandmothers large collection of diamonds, probably 100-150k) but they’re getting zero cash or anything else. I’m leaving everything to a children’s charity, but if I could find a charity benefitting sibling s of sociopaths or a-holes, I’d leave it all to them.

Your mom was a shitty parent for leaving $3 million to one child and $0 to another, who has kids no less (assuming that’s what happened – I’m reading between the lines).

You are reading in between the lines incorrectly, my mum left $7 million, $3 to my brother and I each, $1 million split between two grandkids. My brother just spend spend spends and thinks I owe his kids a college fund or family money. It’s all going to charity, and my mum was a wonderful parent, fyi.

[Anonymous]

It’s not something I object to on moral grounds. I object because it’s a lot of money for something I think is stupid. Just as an example:

I support money for medical research in general, but would object to a donation here: https://www.alcor.org/what-is-cryonics/

I support money to a college but would object if it was to buy for a college sports team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see why it matters if everyone will have more than enough. Did your SO generate at least 25% of the wealth? Why not just let them do what they want? You’ll all be dead.

I have a 100K donation to my college that DH did not agree with. He did not put it in his will even though it’s in my will and DD’s special needs trust. So if me and DD die before him and he never changes his will, my college doesn’t get a gift. If he dies before either me or DD, they will get the gift.

He just thinks donations to rich universities with already large endowments are stupid. And while I agree with him, I’m also deeply appreciative for the significant financial aid I received (100K in 2003 dollars) and the life changing experience I had there.

He did carry through my 100K gift to my best friend in his will. That surprised me because I thought he’d be more likely to object to that because she’s not family, and given how our wills and DD SNT are structured, her gift will reduce the gifts we make to our siblings). But we didn’t really disagree about all this. We just wanted the estate planning done already after dragging it out for 3 years.

Wow that you would take money away from your special needs child to give to your college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never married, no kids, work as a nanny but inherited $3 million from my mum (and yes I still work as a nanny). My brother is a giant a-hole and has pretty much said how he expects me to leave his kids/himself my money. Kids who I see once every 2 years because I only see them when I go there, they've never come to see me. In my will, I’m leaving his kids the heirlooms (grandmothers large collection of diamonds, probably 100-150k) but they’re getting zero cash or anything else. I’m leaving everything to a children’s charity, but if I could find a charity benefitting sibling s of sociopaths or a-holes, I’d leave it all to them.

I like this.

[Anonymous]

If I don't need it and the kids don't need it? At that point it is a MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never married, no kids, work as a nanny but inherited $3 million from my mum (and yes I still work as a nanny). My brother is a giant a-hole and has pretty much said how he expects me to leave his kids/himself my money. Kids who I see once every 2 years because I only see them when I go there, they've never come to see me. In my will, I’m leaving his kids the heirlooms (grandmothers large collection of diamonds, probably 100-150k) but they’re getting zero cash or anything else. I’m leaving everything to a children’s charity, but if I could find a charity benefitting sibling s of sociopaths or a-holes, I’d leave it all to them.

I'm in a similar position. Inherited a significant amount of money from my mother. I don't have kids and my DH doesn't need any money, he's got plenty. My sister and I inherited equal amounts. She thinks I should leave everything that I got to her two kids because it came from our mom and I don't have kids. I will not be doing that -- it's going to my DH and some of it to charities/orgs that have been good to me (unlike my sister), or, if DH predeceases me, just charities/orgs. FWIW, sister, niece, and nephew will be just fine financially. In fact my sister has significantly more than I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never married, no kids, work as a nanny but inherited $3 million from my mum (and yes I still work as a nanny). My brother is a giant a-hole and has pretty much said how he expects me to leave his kids/himself my money. Kids who I see once every 2 years because I only see them when I go there, they've never come to see me. In my will, I’m leaving his kids the heirlooms (grandmothers large collection of diamonds, probably 100-150k) but they’re getting zero cash or anything else. I’m leaving everything to a children’s charity, but if I could find a charity benefitting sibling s of sociopaths or a-holes, I’d leave it all to them.

I'm in a similar position. Inherited a significant amount of money from my mother. I don't have kids and my DH doesn't need any money, he's got plenty. My sister and I inherited equal amounts. She thinks I should leave everything that I got to her two kids because it came from our mom and I don't have kids. I will not be doing that -- it's going to my DH and some of it to charities/orgs that have been good to me (unlike my sister), or, if DH predeceases me, just charities/orgs. FWIW, sister, niece, and nephew will be just fine financially. In fact my sister has significantly more than I do.

Even if she didn't make more, your mom left you your half of the money. It is yours to decide what to do. If she wanted sister and her kids to have more she would have left it to them.
Some people are so entitled it is ridiculous

[Anonymous]

Yeah... I wouldn't be happy either. I would try to dissuade my spouse.

My marriage isn't great, but this charity thing is where we see eye to eye. Doctors Without Borders it is, and always has been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not something I object to on moral grounds. I object because it’s a lot of money for something I think is stupid. Just as an example:

I support money for medical research in general, but would object to a donation here: https://www.alcor.org/what-is-cryonics/

I support money to a college but would object if it was to buy for a college sports team.

Buy “uniforms”