Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous

[Anonymous]

Dad & Mom had gone together to pre-arrange their funerals. But later, without Dad knowing, Mom went back and changed some of her details. In lieu off flowers, she wanted donations to go to a certain charity. Funeral home only knew this. It signaled to us that Dad probably hadn't agreed.

[Anonymous]

If it is their $, I would give me opinion but then step back.

[Anonymous]

Never married, no kids, work as a nanny but inherited $3 million from my mum (and yes I still work as a nanny). My brother is a giant a-hole and has pretty much said how he expects me to leave his kids/himself my money. Kids who I see once every 2 years because I only see them when I go there, they've never come to see me. In my will, I’m leaving his kids the heirlooms (grandmothers large collection of diamonds, probably 100-150k) but they’re getting zero cash or anything else. I’m leaving everything to a children’s charity, but if I could find a charity benefitting sibling s of sociopaths or a-holes, I’d leave it all to them.

[Anonymous]

Pp again/ my mum’s brother also never married and no kids, left over 10 million to a charity for eyeglasses or something. It was actually quite hilarious how upset my greedy brother became. It was a charity that helps poor people buy glasses. I could only laugh thinking about my brother.

[Anonymous]

OP here:

I didn’t think I needed to clarify SO was a spouse since I mentioned marital estate. Likewise, marital estate means that the 25% is from assets earned during the marriage…so they don’t belong to just this spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

I didn’t think I needed to clarify SO was a spouse since I mentioned marital estate. Likewise, marital estate means that the 25% is from assets earned during the marriage…so they don’t belong to just this spouse.

Thanks for clarifying. FYI SO generally refers to an unmarried partner, not a spouse. In this case, specifying spouse would be more clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

I didn’t think I needed to clarify SO was a spouse since I mentioned marital estate. Likewise, marital estate means that the 25% is from assets earned during the marriage…so they don’t belong to just this spouse.

Why not just say it? I hate coy posters like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never married, no kids, work as a nanny but inherited $3 million from my mum (and yes I still work as a nanny). My brother is a giant a-hole and has pretty much said how he expects me to leave his kids/himself my money. Kids who I see once every 2 years because I only see them when I go there, they've never come to see me. In my will, I’m leaving his kids the heirlooms (grandmothers large collection of diamonds, probably 100-150k) but they’re getting zero cash or anything else. I’m leaving everything to a children’s charity, but if I could find a charity benefitting sibling s of sociopaths or a-holes, I’d leave it all to them.

I find it strange you have little desire to help your nieces/nephews, who have a sociopath for a parent. That's gotta be a rough life, too.

[Anonymous]

"the guinea pig society for inbreeding research"

Thank you. My new favorite charity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"the guinea pig society for inbreeding research"

Thank you. My new favorite charity.

Seriously. How can I donate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see why it matters if everyone will have more than enough. Did your SO generate at least 25% of the wealth? Why not just let them do what they want? You’ll all be dead.

I have a 100K donation to my college that DH did not agree with. He did not put it in his will even though it’s in my will and DD’s special needs trust. So if me and DD die before him and he never changes his will, my college doesn’t get a gift. If he dies before either me or DD, they will get the gift.

He just thinks donations to rich universities with already large endowments are stupid. And while I agree with him, I’m also deeply appreciative for the significant financial aid I received (100K in 2003 dollars) and the life changing experience I had there.

He did carry through my 100K gift to my best friend in his will. That surprised me because I thought he’d be more likely to object to that because she’s not family, and given how our wills and DD SNT are structured, her gift will reduce the gifts we make to our siblings). But we didn’t really disagree about all this. We just wanted the estate planning done already after dragging it out for 3 years.

How much money do you have that you are giving money to siblings and friends instead of putting everything in the SNT?

THIS^^^^

SN kids become SN adults who often require expensive services. I'd want to be leaving anything and everything to ensure my DD/DS was well taken care of.

[Anonymous]

At my (wealthy) aunt's funeral the priest recounted a story where days before her death my aunt was laughing hysterically with her sister about "people who leave their money to the birds!" (ie an Audubon society. ) As a Saks fifth Avenue loving, diamond covered, woman of a certain age and era, she thought that would be ridiculous, obviously. The point is, people do what they want with their money. And that's their prerogative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my (wealthy) aunt's funeral the priest recounted a story where days before her death my aunt was laughing hysterically with her sister about "people who leave their money to the birds!" (ie an Audubon society. ) As a Saks fifth Avenue loving, diamond covered, woman of a certain age and era, she thought that would be ridiculous, obviously. The point is, people do what they want with their money. And that's their prerogative.

Read the original post. This is doing what is desired by one party with marital money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

I didn’t think I needed to clarify SO was a spouse since I mentioned marital estate. Likewise, marital estate means that the 25% is from assets earned during the marriage…so they don’t belong to just this spouse.

Why not just say it? I hate coy posters like you.

omg grow up. It's a completely standard abbreviation.

[Anonymous]

If it's a specific charity you oppose, and not the general issue, then talk about spreading the money to other orgs for risk reduction.

If it's the issue you oppose, then talk about spreading the money to other issues for balance.