College kid being controlled and financially exploited by parents- options?

[Anonymous]

She not he

[Anonymous]

Get a new SS card

https://www.ssa.gov/number-card/replace-card

[Anonymous]

A domestic violence hotline may be able to offer ideas, support, and escape planning in this situation.

Assuming this person is over 18, they need to start detaching from the parents and becoming independent. Getting a PO Box is a great idea. A bank account without the parents on it would be good too. The school should share their SSN. But expect that this process will take awhile. And if the parents find out, there will likely be consequences, which may include more abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Banks and credit card companies won’t mail to a PO Box. She’ll need a different address. I hope she can go no contact with these bad parents.

She needs to go to social security and try for a new card. As an adult it should be easy. Open a new bank account. Then report herself to the credit bureaus for fraud.

OP, can the kid use your address?

[Anonymous]

Get college to help. My mother kept my Social Security Survivor's benefits after my dad died. College told me it was legally my money, not hers to share, contacted SSA, ended up getting funds sent to me in new bank account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a college student in a bad situation and I’m looking for the best advice to offer.

This kid is in college (commuting from home), paid for by grandparents. Parents are verbally and emotionally abusive (intentionally degrading this kid to the point of near suicide on a regular basis). Parents are also doing sketchy financial stuff. Opened several credit cards in this kids name without permission or knowledge and are using them. Regularly take large sums money out of the bank account that this kids paychecks go into. This kid has never been allowed access to their social security number. Parents filed all school and work forms and maintain complete control over everything despite the kids best attempts.

Kid doesn’t want to lose college funding or all contact with parents…but this is getting extreme and wants to not have a financial mess on their hands, but can’t open a new bank account without their social security number.

Does this kid have any easy options?
Any way to get their ss# and make a smooth-ish exit to adulthood?

This sounds like bs.

[Anonymous]

Be sure this 18 year old is not manipulating you/lying. We have a situation as of late that involves many intricate lies, told to untold people, about who we are as parents that are so wildly untrue it might be at least entertaining as a story line if not so devastating to us as parents. I would walk the line carefully since it is not your relation, and try to stay out of it if you can.

[Anonymous]

The student should file a complaint with the District Attorney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a college student in a bad situation and I’m looking for the best advice to offer.

This kid is in college (commuting from home), paid for by grandparents. Parents are verbally and emotionally abusive (intentionally degrading this kid to the point of near suicide on a regular basis). Parents are also doing sketchy financial stuff. Opened several credit cards in this kids name without permission or knowledge and are using them. Regularly take large sums money out of the bank account that this kids paychecks go into. This kid has never been allowed access to their social security number. Parents filed all school and work forms and maintain complete control over everything despite the kids best attempts.

Kid doesn’t want to lose college funding or all contact with parents…but this is getting extreme and wants to not have a financial mess on their hands, but can’t open a new bank account without their social security number.

Does this kid have any easy options?
Any way to get their ss# and make a smooth-ish exit to adulthood?

Kid is entitled to go down to the SSA office and get a copy of their Social Security card. The college may also be willing to hand them a piece of paper with the SSN on it but it would have to be approached the right way.

They will need to report identity theft regarding the credit cards or they will be liable for them. I would anticipate that the same has gone on re: student loans and they will also need a police report of identity theft in order to file a false certification discharge application of any loans placed in their name in this way.

They're losing college funding so forget about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be sure this 18 year old is not manipulating you/lying. We have a situation as of late that involves many intricate lies, told to untold people, about who we are as parents that are so wildly untrue it might be at least entertaining as a story line if not so devastating to us as parents. I would walk the line carefully since it is not your relation, and try to stay out of it if you can.

+1

It’s easy to get sucked in. Take a step back and think of each part of their story critically and what the logical answer for the issue would be. You will find that 99% of their story is no where near as dramatic as when they tell it.

[Anonymous]

She can go to the school financial aid office and request her paperwork. She should also visit the counseling center to start therapy.

[Anonymous]

If the grandparents are paying for college they would want to know what’s going on. Maybe they can afford to pay for an apar with roommates.

She needs to leave that house. Sad situation.

[Anonymous]

Here’s what I would do:

1. Go to the SS office and get a replacement card.
2. Get a P.O. box.
3. Do a Lifelock credit freeze.
4. Open a new bank account and change my paycheck direct deposit. Do not give that info to anyone.
5. Get s credit report. Contact any companies with credit cards or loans and report identity theft. Follow whatever steps they need you to take.
6. Do whatever you need to do to get away from the parents/grandparents. — her best option is probably applying to a college and moving into student housing. She can find an apartment with other students when it’s summer

Good luck! My mom did that to me. It took years to clean up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Can’t get a credit report without a social
And the military isn’t ideal because this kid is female

Lots of females in the military. This seems like one of the better options.

Plenty of females in the military. The student can also get free college through their service.

[Anonymous]

How is this kid working without a social security number?

Go to SS office with ID. Get the number.

Get new account that only they are on.

Have paychecks go into the new account.

Give grandparents the new account number for the college money.