Intercourse Post-menopause

[Anonymous]

60 y.o.on Team VagiFem. Nothing new to add, it is real and ugly. Thanks to everyone who shared details and took time to document.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:60 y.o.on Team VagiFem. Nothing new to add, it is real and ugly. Thanks to everyone who shared details and took time to document.

Is the Vagifem helping?

[Anonymous]

I'm 51 and not sure whether or not I'm post-menopausal given that I had a hysterectomy (kept the ovaries). I had a major drop off in lubrication and libido about a year and a half ago so I'm thinking that there was a big hormonal shift at that time. I use Vagifem (vaginal estrogen inserts) twice weekly as well as lube during sex. I think the Vagifem has helped to some extent and would recommend it. Weed also helps-it makes me feel more relaxed and less frustrated regarding how long it takes me to orgasm (if I'm able to get there). But unfortunately nothing is a miracle fix and sex has definitely changed since I was a young woman. If someone had told me at 20 when I was always ready for sex and used to have it multiple times daily on a regular basis that at this point it would involve so much work and effort (and self consciousness) I would have laughed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 51 and not sure whether or not I'm post-menopausal given that I had a hysterectomy (kept the ovaries). I had a major drop off in lubrication and libido about a year and a half ago so I'm thinking that there was a big hormonal shift at that time. I use Vagifem (vaginal estrogen inserts) twice weekly as well as lube during sex. I think the Vagifem has helped to some extent and would recommend it. Weed also helps-it makes me feel more relaxed and less frustrated regarding how long it takes me to orgasm (if I'm able to get there). But unfortunately nothing is a miracle fix and sex has definitely changed since I was a young woman. If someone had told me at 20 when I was always ready for sex and used to have it multiple times daily on a regular basis that at this point it would involve so much work and effort (and self consciousness) I would have laughed.

Laughed because you didn't think aging would come for you?

[Anonymous]

Wow.. now I can see why some high-drive older men want younger partners -- so she'll enjoy it too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 51 and not sure whether or not I'm post-menopausal given that I had a hysterectomy (kept the ovaries). I had a major drop off in lubrication and libido about a year and a half ago so I'm thinking that there was a big hormonal shift at that time. I use Vagifem (vaginal estrogen inserts) twice weekly as well as lube during sex. I think the Vagifem has helped to some extent and would recommend it. Weed also helps-it makes me feel more relaxed and less frustrated regarding how long it takes me to orgasm (if I'm able to get there). But unfortunately nothing is a miracle fix and sex has definitely changed since I was a young woman. If someone had told me at 20 when I was always ready for sex and used to have it multiple times daily on a regular basis that at this point it would involve so much work and effort (and self consciousness) I would have laughed.

What really gets me (I’m OP) is that while I had a short period of promiscuity in my late teens/early twenties, I spent the best part of my adult life single and voluntarily celibate because I had developed particular standards for sex partners - I wanted ‘love’ and ‘intellectual connection potential.’

I now wish I had engaged in a series of FWB relationships, and one night stands whenever I wanted, with hot guys and nevermind if there was any connection beyond the sex. If not for all the stupid shame I felt on account of socialization, I might have done so. I’m sad that I spent all those years without sex and now I don’t want it much at all anymore.

*sigh*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 71 and I use estrogen cream and plenty of lube. My husband knows that 5 minutes of PIV is all I can handle but he’s fine with that because I’ve gotten very good with foreplay so he’s pretty ready. We still have sex at least once a week and that may help in terms of use it or lose it. My husband has never needed ED meds so he’s in a good place physically. Also, I was lucky to have a pretty easy menopause which may be why sex is still enjoyable today. Finally, given the 5 minute issue our sex life is very different than it was 30-40 years ago but we’ve adapted over time to the reality of our ages.

PP - we had fantastic sex last night that didn’t involve PIV. I know many women no longer have the desire for sex, but if you have the desire it can be fulfilled in many different ways even if PIV is a struggle.

[Anonymous]

I didn't have the dryness really become an issue until about 3 years after menopause. My GYN at the time warned me it could happen. I wish it were different, but intercourse is uncomfortable (even with lube) and the desire just isn't the way it used to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 51 and not sure whether or not I'm post-menopausal given that I had a hysterectomy (kept the ovaries). I had a major drop off in lubrication and libido about a year and a half ago so I'm thinking that there was a big hormonal shift at that time. I use Vagifem (vaginal estrogen inserts) twice weekly as well as lube during sex. I think the Vagifem has helped to some extent and would recommend it. Weed also helps-it makes me feel more relaxed and less frustrated regarding how long it takes me to orgasm (if I'm able to get there). But unfortunately nothing is a miracle fix and sex has definitely changed since I was a young woman. If someone had told me at 20 when I was always ready for sex and used to have it multiple times daily on a regular basis that at this point it would involve so much work and effort (and self consciousness) I would have laughed.

Laughed because you didn't think aging would come for you?

Yep-pretty much! At 20 I was young and dumb-I couldn't imagine that things would ever be different. I had a super high sex drive-too high, to be honest (I cheated on boyfriends, had stupid/risky one night stands and was overly preoccupied with sex). When I was 20 I thought 30 was "old" haha.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, it's a vicious cycle because there is an element of the less sexual intercourse you have the less elastic and lubricated the vaginal tissues. Of course that leads to uncomfortable sex so there is less desire to do it.

[Anonymous]

I am using the Femring, which is similar to Estring. It has completely reversed my vaginal dryness and the beginnings of atrophy.