There's no way that anyone on DCUrbanmoms is this crazy (right?)

[Anonymous]

I take it 10:27 is adequate parent? Forgot to log back in?

I don't really care why AP posts here. I don't bother to get a log in for the same reason the rest of you (including the person who advised me to grow ovaries) do not. I prefer to be anonymous. AP has made a choice, her posts are identifiable, and she is starting to define the types of parenting she approves of vs. not.

AP, your last post was rambly and I don't even know what to say back to you. You started this fight by summarizing EC inaccurately and then making fun of it. Now you're upset that you're being called for the same mockery you allegedly despise? Then bat your innocent eyes and say you are above the whole DCurban "lioness" thing. Uhhh...yeah.

Peace to you, too. You misread your audience here. Turns out a few people on DCUM are this "crazy." And again, I'm not even someone who practices EC. However, I just can't handle your sanctimonious tone, or the irony that what you complain about are the alleged sanctimommies. And that author, "Dr. Teuter," is a real jackass.

[Anonymous]

I have never heard AP get as personal as y'all are getting right here and now. She consistently criticizes the PRACTICE of EC, and its bad effect on women as a group of people who might have other interests besides gazing deeply into someone's eyes trying to guess when they are going to take a crap. I agree -- the manner in which American parents have taken up EC is yet another of the 57,000 ways fetishize and obsess about mothering and baby care in a pointless way, since people do eventually want to lock you up if your kid is breastfeeding in the 2nd grade.

It's the obsessive one-upswomanship of self-immolation on the mommy martyr funeral pyre on DCUM that is most astonishing to behold, to me. And y'all just hate it when anyone, including Adequate Parent, calls folks on it. She has been consistently up front about her ideas and motivations, she doesn't run any sock puppet personas as many of you do, and she takes shit for it. Cowards much?

[Anonymous]

My baby poops once a day, and if he gave a good signal as to when it was going to happen, you bet I would.

[Anonymous]

Also, I am 12:16, and the moderator can confirm that I am not AP by checking my IP address.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never heard AP get as personal as y'all are getting right here and now. She consistently criticizes the PRACTICE of EC, and its bad effect on women as a group of people who might have other interests besides gazing deeply into someone's eyes trying to guess when they are going to take a crap. I agree -- the manner in which American parents have taken up EC is yet another of the 57,000 ways fetishize and obsess about mothering and baby care in a pointless way, since people do eventually want to lock you up if your kid is breastfeeding in the 2nd grade.

It's the obsessive one-upswomanship of self-immolation on the mommy martyr funeral pyre on DCUM that is most astonishing to behold, to me. And y'all just hate it when anyone, including Adequate Parent, calls folks on it. She has been consistently up front about her ideas and motivations, she doesn't run any sock puppet personas as many of you do, and she takes shit for it. Cowards much?

Oh get over yourself. I'm not sockpuppeting, I acknowledged each of my posts. Why am I a "coward?" Because I don't sign my posts? Neither do you! EC is not about "gazing into the eyes of your baby" deciding if he is going to poop or not, for Chrissake. My son happens to hunker down and start grunting when he is going to poop. If I wanted to do it, I might take him to a potty. I've personally decided that EC is not my deal, but I don't think I'm so wise that I can figure out for other women whether or not they are being downtrodden because they take an interest in it. You think likening a parenting choice you clearly don't understand to a "fetish" is good for women? Listen, nobody is telling you that YOU have to do it! Just stop mocking other people for their choices. I think it's really telling that those who have their panties in the tightest bunch around here are those offended by OTHER PEOPLE's parenting choices. If someone sat you down and told you or AP, personally, that you are a craptastic mom because you aren't monitoring baby crap, then I get the rant. But AP is quoting a rant by an anti attachment parenting person and is in turn openly mocking folks who don't do it her way. I don't give a shit about EC, but I call hypocrasy when I see it.

[Anonymous]

And I could also add:
- Who cares that you're nursing until your child turns 4?
- Who cares that you're a fan of CIO?
- Who cares if you're brother-in-law is gay?
- Who cares if you're a fallen Catholic?
- Who cares if your neighbor is labeled a sexual offender b/c he flashed high school school girls?
- Who cares if you let your MIL control you?
- Who cares if your school red shirts?
- Who cares if your child attends Sidwell?
- Who cares if you're over 40 and have had two healthy, non-invasive AMA pregnancies?
- Who cares if your husband farts in public?
- Who cares if your child is bi-racial?
- Who cares if your husband doesn't want to smell your pits?
- Who cares if you're on Prozac and can't find a therapist who quite "fits" you?
- Who cares if you're a WASP with a child named after a Brazilian actress?
- Who cares? Who cares? Who cares?

I do!

So back away, Pollyannas!

If we didn't care - or have our own opinions - the world would be very blah.

Anonymous wrote:Why does anybody care what anybody else does with their children's urine and feces? Seriously -- who cares? What is gained from pointing fingers and going "ooh!! different!! crazy!!" Do it or don't do it, but there's no need to make fun of people. (And no, I don't do it.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to gander that none of these parents take their children on any airplane trips for the first 6 months or more.

Could you imagine trying to rush to the lavatory..esp with a long line and the kid is leaking crap....aiiieehhyye!

I used this method with my daughter starting the third week she was born. It worked just fine for us. After the first 2 months, I generally took the potty when she signalled that she needed to go (the signs were quite clear). I held her over the toilet and she went, then I flushed.

Not a lot of staring was involved, to be honest. My mom was skeptical but when I showed her what the signs were, she said "That's unmistakeable" and she even took my daughter to the potty when she was babysitting her -- Mom said "I'f she's going to make it that plain, I guess I can do!"

I flew with her when she was about 1 year old, no problem. After she was a few months old, she preferred not to go anywhere but her own house for some reason, so she would hold it. I have read that this is not at all uncommon.

Babies have the ability to control their elimination for a few seconds to a minute at birth, and then their ability grows as they exercise control over those muscles. It's the same as how their other muscles develop -- ability to hold the neck upright etc. comes the first few months to a year. I think if you just let them go whenever, where ever (in their diaper) they don't have any reason to exercise their bladder control muscle, and so the muscle just doesn't develop. THis means later when they are a toddler, first they have to find the muscle and then they have to practice using it and letting it grow stronger.

So when people hear about infant potty use, I think they are confusing it with their experiences with toddler potty training -- of having to RUN QUICK when you see the child is about to go. All I can say is, that wasn't my experience!

[Anonymous]

Oh, sorry -- I didn't read the whole thread! Didn't see what direction this thread had taken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To adequateparent's defense:

In the USA--this is frickin' crazy. #1 what American has this much damn time? I understand that in cultures with no access or $ to diapers (albeit cloth or synthetic) this is a practice that is needed and built out of need.

Here in the states--I see it solely as 'competitive parenting'. We can add it to the 'I breastfed longer than you', etc. type of parent.

If you SAH and have one child and have all the time in the world to hover over your child looking for the slightest sign of a crap, e.g., red face, brow tensing...then go for it!

You understood it wrong.
This method has been successfully used all over the world for centuries, when money for diapers was not an issue at all.
I can't believe people in such a "evolved" country can be so ignorant!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To adequateparent's defense:

In the USA--this is frickin' crazy. #1 what American has this much damn time? I understand that in cultures with no access or $ to diapers (albeit cloth or synthetic) this is a practice that is needed and built out of need.

Here in the states--I see it solely as 'competitive parenting'. We can add it to the 'I breastfed longer than you', etc. type of parent.

If you SAH and have one child and have all the time in the world to hover over your child looking for the slightest sign of a crap, e.g., red face, brow tensing...then go for it!

You understood it wrong.
This method has been successfully used all over the world for centuries, when money for diapers was not an issue at all.
I can't believe people in such a "evolved" country can be so ignorant!

OK - but who was home to catch the grimaces and hear the grunts? In our evolved society, where close to 60% of women work (I believe that's the latest.), who would be responsible for EC? childcare workers? SAHPs? preschool teachers? We're talking about an entire culture shift. You're ignorant, PP, if you can't understand that.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I could see how it'd help communication. What else is communication with a 6 month old than reading his cries/screams/wails?

I was never good at reading my infant's cues, but some moms seem to have a knack for it.

I don't think it's crazy to think that your 6 month old makes a certain face when she poops. And, if she knows that you understand that, it fosters an ever deeper bond.

Yes, people that do EC are doing it to save diapers/help with PTing, whatever. But, why can't their be a communication benefit?

[Anonymous]

Oh my god! I thought this was a fad in the US media?! People actually do this?! Unless my infant can say, "hey mom, I gotta sh*t," we are sticking with diapers. Your baby isn't communicating with you, s/he is going to the bathroom. You are just watching your child for this sign. Not a two way communication in my book. DS was potty trained at 2.5 and never had a diaper rash.

I also use things like central air conditioning and a washing machine. Do EC parents here live in a yurt and wash their clothing on rocks in the Potomac because they do that in other countries?

[Anonymous]

Wow, this post got the judge-iness going in the title! Extra points for that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to gander that none of these parents take their children on any airplane trips for the first 6 months or more.

Could you imagine trying to rush to the lavatory..esp with a long line and the kid is leaking crap....aiiieehhyye!

I used this method with my daughter starting the third week she was born. It worked just fine for us. After the first 2 months, I generally took the potty when she signalled that she needed to go (the signs were quite clear). I held her over the toilet and she went, then I flushed.

Not a lot of staring was involved, to be honest. My mom was skeptical but when I showed her what the signs were, she said "That's unmistakeable" and she even took my daughter to the potty when she was babysitting her -- Mom said "I'f she's going to make it that plain, I guess I can do!"

I flew with her when she was about 1 year old, no problem. After she was a few months old, she preferred not to go anywhere but her own house for some reason, so she would hold it. I have read that this is not at all uncommon.

Babies have the ability to control their elimination for a few seconds to a minute at birth, and then their ability grows as they exercise control over those muscles. It's the same as how their other muscles develop -- ability to hold the neck upright etc. comes the first few months to a year. I think if you just let them go whenever, where ever (in their diaper) they don't have any reason to exercise their bladder control muscle, and so the muscle just doesn't develop. THis means later when they are a toddler, first they have to find the muscle and then they have to practice using it and letting it grow stronger.

So when people hear about infant potty use, I think they are confusing it with their experiences with toddler potty training -- of having to RUN QUICK when you see the child is about to go. All I can say is, that wasn't my experience!

Actually, thank you for this post. I have to say I have always that elimination training to be not for me, but the way you described it, I can actually see how it would be a reasonable practice.

[georgiegirl]

Here's a website in support of EC - http://www.freewebs.com/freetoec/

And below is an excerpt from the fan who claims she is not a ". . . hippie throwback living in a pee-stained shack in some warm climate."

Enjoy!

********
People who have met me purely online often have assumed that I must be some sort of hippie throwback living in a pee-stained shack in some warm climate. Let me assure you: my husband and I both have graduate degrees, we live in a very chi-chi neighbourhood in an urban setting, and as I write this, there is snow on the ground.

EC is not just for African bush-women.

EC is not just for free-living hippies.

EC is not just for those who enjoy getting peed on....