I was scolded for my past

[Anonymous]

Yikes! 😱

I know you are saying that you do not want to have to find new friends however if you keep your current ones - you will be miserable for the rest of your life.

The person who told you all this stuff is horribly judgmental as well as rude.
I would cut off all contact w/her yesterday.

And your “friends” who refused to stick up for you after your entire character was attacked are nothing but phonies.

You are better off w/out them all > I promise you.

[Anonymous]

All the people who are crapping on the OP for oversharing are what is wrong with humanity. OP, I’m sorry that you struggled with suicidal thoughts at any point in your life and I’m glad that you were able to heal from that time. You sound like a nice person and I wish you well.

[Anonymous]

Op . Thanks PP’s. I had suicidal thoughts because I wanted my pain to end. I would fantasize about being dead as it would relax me.
That time in my life was horrible. The hits just kept coming. I played a part in that ofcourse but I never chose to have that pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes! 😱

I know you are saying that you do not want to have to find new friends however if you keep your current ones - you will be miserable for the rest of your life.

The person who told you all this stuff is horribly judgmental as well as rude.
I would cut off all contact w/her yesterday.

And your “friends” who refused to stick up for you after your entire character was attacked are nothing but phonies.

You are better off w/out them all > I promise you.

+1 Cut them out. They are not true friends.

[Anonymous]

OP didn't overshare. One of the other women was talking about her child's mental health issues, and OP related some info about her own mental health when she was close in age to that woman's child. That's on topic and empathetic. OP was obviously trying to reassure that woman that this is something people go through, that it's ok.

Consider that when the other woman got all judgemental about OP's struggles, it probably didn't feel great for the woman whose child is now struggling, either.

The fact that people respond with a lot of discomfort and awkwardness, and that this one woman was very judgemental and shaming, indicates this group struggles with dealing with mental health as a subject, and are uncomfortable with certain kinds of vulnerability. That's not OP's fault.

[Anonymous]

Op. I’m proud of you for sharing something so painful in the hopes of connecting with a worried parent. I’m proud of you for overcoming debilitating anxiety/depression and getting your life together! These are major achievements and it’s what I desperately hope for a young person in my life who struggles.

It’s possible this woman was being sarcastic but either way what she said was really a reflection of her, not you. I am glad you are doing therapy: you have no reason to feel shame about your struggles (grief yes, shame no) and I hope one day you can rewrite your narrative to see how strong you are. You have depth, compassion and resiliency. If the people around you don’t respect you, time to find new friends (but aside from this woman allow for the possibility there was eithe misreading or awkwardness at her weird off putting response).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't overshare. One of the other women was talking about her child's mental health issues, and OP related some info about her own mental health when she was close in age to that woman's child. That's on topic and empathetic. OP was obviously trying to reassure that woman that this is something people go through, that it's ok.

Consider that when the other woman got all judgemental about OP's struggles, it probably didn't feel great for the woman whose child is now struggling, either.

The fact that people respond with a lot of discomfort and awkwardness, and that this one woman was very judgemental and shaming, indicates this group struggles with dealing with mental health as a subject, and are uncomfortable with certain kinds of vulnerability. That's not OP's fault.

Yes! I was thinking this. And maybe that friend was too deep in her own shame and fear to speak up then too. Deeply sad for multiple people not to find safety and kindness among their friends.

I can't imagine an adult calling another adult they are voluntarily hanging out with a bad egg, either. It would be nice to believe it was a joke but would be pretty extreme for OP to misread it to that extent.

[Anonymous]

It’s obviously a joke. Who would use the term “bad egg” except in jest?

OP’s friends read it as a joke, hence they didn’t “defend” her.

OP should definitely NOT cut her friends out of her life and she is NOT better off without them. She should confide in them about being hurt and see what they say.

OP, don’t blow up your life over a misunderstanding.

[Anonymous]

If someone is talking about their kid's mental health struggles, then responding with a deep dive into 'oh yes, at that age I was SUICIDIAL and MISERABLE and wanted to DIE!' isn't the compassionate, understanding angle OP seems to think it is.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a dcum harpy.

I think you did great. I went through a bit of depression in my teens/early 20s, even though I did go to college and get a job right afterwards. It's still hard. But be proud of yourself to getting "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps".

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you.

It was 100% not sarcasm. She was being rude and snarky

[Anonymous]

Please stop talking about your HS/college self and who and where you used to be. Nobody cares and you're just setting yourself up. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're 43, these are things that happened YEARS ago. Not sure why anyone - you or her - is bringing it up. Otherwise, nothing is wrong with you. Be proud of how far you have come. She is a bee yatch.

+1 Not sure why a 43 year old would even reference the timeline between high school and college to a near-stranger. Or tell them about decades-old suicidal ideation. So you have some basic social/conversational skills to work on - stop oversharing. But her response of you being a "bad egg" or having negative vibes is just bizarre - this is not a person whose opinions should matter to you.

Don't overshare, and don't over-internalize. Your friends should have said something when she started getting weird, or even earlier when you started talking about how embarrassed you were because of how hard your life was at 19, but I'm sure everyone was uncomfortable because this conversation sounds bananas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the people who are crapping on the OP for oversharing are what is wrong with humanity. OP, I’m sorry that you struggled with suicidal thoughts at any point in your life and I’m glad that you were able to heal from that time. You sound like a nice person and I wish you well.

I agree with this post.

[Anonymous]

What exactly do that you are not proud of? In what way did you "eff up"? Clearly there was more than suicidal thoughts. The details might matter here.