Boyfriend making me fat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A guy who refuses to NOT eat out all the time won't be a great husband/father. He's not worried about his health or saving money. Occasionally is fine, but not constantly. And the fact that he doesn't care what YOU want to do is also a red flag.

Well he is paying for it all. So maybe she is getting the more expensive items on the menu as a test?

[Anonymous]

Just tell him. So easy. I need to eat at home!! I miss cooking!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been single for a long time waiting on someone who I truly click with. I met my boyfriend several months ago and everything has been wonderful, except he likes to go out ALL THE TIME. I like having someone to go out with and his company is enjoyable. But he wants to go out to eat every day! It’s causing me to gain weight and I miss cooking. How do I bring this up gently?

Dump him!

He obviously is the cause of your problems.

Plenty of other men out there right?

[Anonymous]

Blaming your boyfriend for being fat

Only in the good ol USA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eat only half your portion.

this. I mostly eat half portion when we go out.

But, when DH and I started dating in SF, we went out all the time. I gained weight. But, I called it my "fat and happy" period. I was really, skinny, though.

We did stop going out so much eventually. It was just the first several months of dating that we went out all the time.

+1. Same here.

I met my husband when I was 26 and my roommate subs I literally had nothing in our fridge or cabinets. I was really thin.

I had a cheeseburger and milkshake on the second date . Heaven. We both were very into fitness and I ran my first marathon that year so was able to eat whatever I wanted while training so hard. It eventually leveled out and it was just a weekend dinner out/drinking with friends but pure health Sunday-Thursday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:stop ordering the good stuff and stick with salads

She might be hungry and want more than a daily salad

Well, then, she's likely to gain weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been single for a long time waiting on someone who I truly click with. I met my boyfriend several months ago and everything has been wonderful, except he likes to go out ALL THE TIME. I like having someone to go out with and his company is enjoyable. But he wants to go out to eat every day! It’s causing me to gain weight and I miss cooking. How do I bring this up gently?

Why does this sound like it was ripped from some old Ann Landers column?

"Wake up and smell the coffee!!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you be honest?
Suggest a different activity not food related. He should be flexible here

Excellent advice here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blaming your boyfriend for being fat

Only in the good ol USA

Well you must agree: her weight gain is all his fault.

[Anonymous]

What sort of restaurants are you going to and what is he ordering? Would you say he is an adventurous eater? If he is just going out to have a full array of fried foods, that is different. Many women would love to have your problem- a lot of men aren’t very social and hate going out. If he is something of a foodie I would just make adjustments with your day’s calories. Perhaps you are a healthful but not inventive or skilled cook?

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed having to go out constantly and smell all the yummy food but have to order a salad or eat a small portion to maintain my weight, when I know that at home I can eat a lot more filling and nutritious food that tastes just as good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eat only half your portion.

+1. And no alcohol.

And if you don’t want to go out to eat tell him you already have plans. Why are you giving up your hobbies (cooking, staying thin) to hang out under some man every single day? I’m sure he’s a nice guy but it’s important to have a life of your own.

This is how you get dumped and “have a life of your own” all on your own.

Better to be dumped than be fat!

It is possible to stop putting food in your mouth, hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A guy who refuses to NOT eat out all the time won't be a great husband/father. He's not worried about his health or saving money. Occasionally is fine, but not constantly. And the fact that he doesn't care what YOU want to do is also a red flag.

He is trying to impress her with what a great, generous guy he is by wining and dining her, but on DCUM this is a bad thing. 🙄

I’m guessing “my boyfriend is a cheapskate, his idea of a date is ramen noodles on the couch while we watch videos” wouldn’t meet with DCUM approval either.

Here’s the good news, OP - after you get married, he will hardly ever see the need to take you out to dinner any more! Yup, other than maybe your birthday, anniversary, and Valentine’s Day, you’ll be eating healthy and saving money because you will be cooking the meals at home. Yay!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been single for a long time waiting on someone who I truly click with. I met my boyfriend several months ago and everything has been wonderful, except he likes to go out ALL THE TIME. I like having someone to go out with and his company is enjoyable. But he wants to go out to eat every day! It’s causing me to gain weight and I miss cooking. How do I bring this up gently?

Why does this sound like it was ripped from some old Ann Landers column?

Seriously! Lots of dumb posts on DCUM but this one wins the weekly award.

[Anonymous]

Because you are boyfriend and girlfriend, I think you have a lot of say in this situation because he obviously likes and cares for you and wants to have your company. My DH and I love going to restaurants, but we save it for the weekend and enjoy cooking together during the week. Recently I discovered I have higher cholesterol than is preferable, and so we've reduced even going out to eat on the weekend though I always tell him he's welcome to go without me.

I think if you phrase things in terms of health and let him know that you would like to do other activities together (like taking walks, playing tennis, etc.) he'll know you still want to spend time together but nightly dining out is not something you are really willing to do. It's important to have boundaries both in the beginning and throughout a healthy relationship.