Can you share your kids' MS 'Bathroom Policy'?

[Anonymous]

They're limiting bathroom time because kids are skipping class, doing drugs and assaulting each other in the bathroom.

There aren't unlimited resources to police the bathrooms and hallways and ensure student safety in the bathrooms. So MCPS has to make a call and given parent outrage about safety and security, this is the best they can do with the resources they've got.

Parents who feel strongly about granting unlimited bathroom access should advocate and lobby for more safety and security staff to police and monitor hallway and bathroom traffic to allow that. Otherwise, they're going to have to constrain access to bathrooms to minimize the disruptive and harmful behavior.

Tradeoffs are a real fact of life, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this to be a very misogynist bathroom policy. Girls are just getting their periods in MS and having to worry about getting to the bathroom or justifying why is mortifying and distracting in school.

Someone should make a Title IX complaint.

Tell me more about the Title IX complaint?

I agree it is misogynistic. But I guess since it applies equally to boys and girls, it would n out be considered discriminatory?

You can argue that because most girls will start menstruating at some point during middle school, and that for most people, menstruating means having to use the bathroom more regularly and sometimes at unexpected times, the policy places an undue burden on girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this to be a very misogynist bathroom policy. Girls are just getting their periods in MS and having to worry about getting to the bathroom or justifying why is mortifying and distracting in school.

Someone should make a Title IX complaint.

Tell me more about the Title IX complaint?

I agree it is misogynistic. But I guess since it applies equally to boys and girls, it would n out be considered discriminatory?

You can argue that because most girls will start menstruating at some point during middle school, and that for most people, menstruating means having to use the bathroom more regularly and sometimes at unexpected times, the policy places an undue burden on girls.

Yes, and when girls aren’t allowed to go to the bathroom, they have period stain accidents which cause embarrassment, ridicule, exposure of their reproductive cycle, and missed class due to having to change clothes or go home for a change of clothes.

This together with the inability to carry ibuprofen or similar without being in violation of medicine rules causes girls to miss class - they stay home because it is easier to manage the period at home. Only wealthier people can afford to go to the doctor for the required doctor’s note to keep menstrual pain relief at the nurse’s office, and even going to the nurse causes missed class time and means a teacher is a gatekeeper judging whether or not pain relief is necessary.

Westerners often think of menstrual equity as applying only in poor places which don’t have period products like tampons and pads at all, but menstrual equity is not only about low cost or free pads, it is also about having access to bathrooms where girls can change their pads and wash up as necessary in private without undue interference or violation of privacy.

[Anonymous]

At our MS, 10/10 rule, and 3 passes per quarter per class period. The passes are in their agenda book which they have to carry.

They really want the kids to go between classes (5 minutes), before school, or during lunch.

(If a kid "loses" the agenda book, a replacement - with fresh, blank passes for all class periods - is available for $5)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does that mean by four hall passes her class per quarter? How many kids can use bathroom per day for a classroom?

My kid has anxiety, and I told teacher that he can use bathroom as many as he wants. He still in ES, so it has not been a problem so far. We got a doctor note from a specialist.

I think they don’t want the kids consistently missing one class. So each class teacher gives out 4 hall passes.

Not sure if the kids are able to get more?

Can you imagine this in the workplace? Your boss saying you can’t use the bathroom when needed!

It happens to teachers....it happens to hourly workers who are told they can only go during their 15 min break or 30 min lunch... I am sure we can think of other people it happens to as well.

The problem is not the students who generally tries to do the right thing, the problem is the few students who try to do the wrong thing but the need to have the same set of rules for everyone. When we allow all students to go when they want (and most will only go every now and then), the one that goes every day in the same period gets upset because they are treated differently.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the bathroom control obsession. I mean, I understand it because I know the schools are obsessed that some small numbers of kids do drugs or have sex or whatever, but it's horrible that everyone is treated (actually published!) this way. My kid's MS has 5 minutes between periods and they often have to go from one end of the school to another. There's barely enough time to do that, not to mention go in to quickly pee (not even going into needing to go number 2, periods etc.) My son told me that some kids had bathroom accidents last year. He himself tries to go just around PE. You should not have to wait for hours to go. We don't require this of adults, why are we this way to kids?

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe folks think this is a major issue. Folks have been managing hall passes in school for years, including in private school. If you kid has specific issues, I’m sure you can speak with your doctor and then the nurse to get the appropriate measures put in place. But for most kids, they figure this out without major incident, including the girls. Use a tampon + backup pad/light day, and throw period underwear if you wish. Seriously how many times do your kids have to go to the bathroom in a 7hr period of time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the bathroom control obsession. I mean, I understand it because I know the schools are obsessed that some small numbers of kids do drugs or have sex or whatever, but it's horrible that everyone is treated (actually published!) this way. My kid's MS has 5 minutes between periods and they often have to go from one end of the school to another. There's barely enough time to do that, not to mention go in to quickly pee (not even going into needing to go number 2, periods etc.) My son told me that some kids had bathroom accidents last year. He himself tries to go just around PE. You should not have to wait for hours to go. We don't require this of adults, why are we this way to kids?

Middle school teacher here. It’s not about “control”. As other posters have said, it’s about managing halls and bathrooms during class time when teachers are teaching and there aren’t enough adults to monitor every space and keep kids safe. MS students don’t always make the best decisions and they are pretty good about making plans to meet up with friends at certain times in a certain bathroom and end up missing a lot of class. Each school has its own system and adjusts as needed. The wait for 10 minutes is to help get all the late kids into their classes. Security/teachers will sweep the halls until they are empty. Any rules about number of passes per quarter are intended to get the kids to actually plan, rather than think they just get to wander the halls anytime they are bored. If a kid really needs a pass - ask! It’s pretty easy to read their face that they aren’t fooling.

OP - tell your kid to think of the pass time differently. There are 25 minutes during the period when they CAN ask for a pass. Don’t ask when the teacher is giving instruction or about to show a 5 min instructional video. Do ask when the teacher has students working independently or in small groups in a task.

At the start of the year, everyone is getting settled in a new routine. Usually after about a month the halls are under control and the teachers know who is trying to leave class too much. For everyone else who can manage themselves appropriately, they’ll only need to ask for passes occasionally, and they’ll get them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this to be a very misogynist bathroom policy. Girls are just getting their periods in MS and having to worry about getting to the bathroom or justifying why is mortifying and distracting in school.

Someone should make a Title IX complaint.

Tell me more about the Title IX complaint?

I agree it is misogynistic. But I guess since it applies equally to boys and girls, it would n out be considered discriminatory?

You can argue that because most girls will start menstruating at some point during middle school, and that for most people, menstruating means having to use the bathroom more regularly and sometimes at unexpected times, the policy places an undue burden on girls.

Actually, the average start of menstruation for black and brown girls is age 9. That’s 4th grade.

[Anonymous]

I had a kid miss 20 minutes of class yesterday to poop. Other kids were made because they had to wait for him to come back before they could get their turn to use the bathroom pass. Kids get tired of the teacher repeating instruction every time kids leave to use the bathroom. I call it “the contagious pee” because nobody has to go until one person asks and then they ALL need to go. We don’t hav trine for that. Teachers are held to high expectations for test scores and grades. If the kid is out of the room, we can’t teach them.

[Anonymous]

If you have a specific concern, just talk to the school. Either the AP, school nurse or counselor will communicate with your child’s teacher. There are always exceptions to the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the bathroom control obsession. I mean, I understand it because I know the schools are obsessed that some small numbers of kids do drugs or have sex or whatever, but it's horrible that everyone is treated (actually published!) this way. My kid's MS has 5 minutes between periods and they often have to go from one end of the school to another. There's barely enough time to do that, not to mention go in to quickly pee (not even going into needing to go number 2, periods etc.) My son told me that some kids had bathroom accidents last year. He himself tries to go just around PE. You should not have to wait for hours to go. We don't require this of adults, why are we this way to kids?

We do require this of the adults that teach your son at school. Some teachers have 3 classes in a row and then a duty. They can’t use the restroom during those 5 minute class transitions because they are supposed to be monitoring their room and the hallways

[Anonymous]

Get ready for high school. My daughter said it is common to be yelled at anytime she is using the restroom (which is usually between classes). Staff comes in and yells at the kids to get out and hurry up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe folks think this is a major issue. Folks have been managing hall passes in school for years, including in private school. If you kid has specific issues, I’m sure you can speak with your doctor and then the nurse to get the appropriate measures put in place. But for most kids, they figure this out without major incident, including the girls. Use a tampon + backup pad/light day, and throw period underwear if you wish. Seriously how many times do your kids have to go to the bathroom in a 7hr period of time?

When I was in school, I did try to go before, after, or during lunch, but there were other times I needed to go. The way I handled it was to go to my next class, and immediately ask her (still in the passing period) if I could use the restroom. Thus, most of my bathroom tine was completed during the passing period, minimizing class disruption, but if I was a minute or two late, the teacher knew I was present, and it wasn’t problem.

According to the posters here, that’s no longer an option. They either have to risk being counted late for a class, or wait until class is underway to go to tge bathroom, meaning that they miss class for the entirety of the time they need for the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a kid miss 20 minutes of class yesterday to poop. Other kids were made because they had to wait for him to come back before they could get their turn to use the bathroom pass. Kids get tired of the teacher repeating instruction every time kids leave to use the bathroom. I call it “the contagious pee” because nobody has to go until one person asks and then they ALL need to go. We don’t hav trine for that. Teachers are held to high expectations for test scores and grades. If the kid is out of the room, we can’t teach them.

Why on earth did you make the other kids wait? Once you saw that the pass wasn’t coming back, why didn’t you make out another pass so that others could start rotating to the bathroom according to your normal procedure. Holding them sick because a classmate is having an issue seems cruel. If he’d gotten sick and gone on to the nurse, or maybe even home, would you have suspended bathroom privileges altogether for the class that day? Did it even occur to you to have someone check on him and see if he needed help?