Empty nest - lonely?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When our first left that was tough but he was going to an Ivy so it was such a huge opportunity for him. When our youngest left we were ready and it certainly felt strange to have an empty nest but we did fine. Long weekends away in the dead of winter. Last minute date nights. Sex without the door closed. They are all doing very well as are we so empty nesting is just another stage of life that you accept or resist. I always worked so I didn’t feel abandoned when the nest emptied.

Almost all of your nice stories require a partner, and perhaps a better partner than OP has.

I wish people on here could show more support /empathy, instead of assuming posters are deficient if they aren’t coping as well as you.

OP, I am a little lost too. About to retire, no spouse. My DD is doing great. I am proud and happy for her. But not so sure how to have fun as a single senior.

Not the pp you were referring to, but op isn’t single. She does have a husband so if he is insisting on sitting in front of the tv and puttering around the house and she wants to do something then she should consider moving elsewhere when they retire where she will have the opportunity to make friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When our first left that was tough but he was going to an Ivy so it was such a huge opportunity for him. When our youngest left we were ready and it certainly felt strange to have an empty nest but we did fine. Long weekends away in the dead of winter. Last minute date nights. Sex without the door closed. They are all doing very well as are we so empty nesting is just another stage of life that you accept or resist. I always worked so I didn’t feel abandoned when the nest emptied.

Almost all of your nice stories require a partner, and perhaps a better partner than OP has.

I wish people on here could show more support /empathy, instead of assuming posters are deficient if they aren’t coping as well as you.

OP, I am a little lost too. About to retire, no spouse. My DD is doing great. I am proud and happy for her. But not so sure how to have fun as a single senior.

Not the pp you were referring to, but op isn’t single. She does have a husband so if he is insisting on sitting in front of the tv and puttering around the house and she wants to do something then she should consider moving elsewhere when they retire where she will have the opportunity to make friends

The point was that sometimes people give breezy advice to others, with a tone of "why don't you just do what I did?", without realizing that not everyone has the same options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who felt profoundly lonely aaa their best was emptying? One DC is leaving, the other basically hates me. DH never does anything, doesn’t really talk much either. We can’t even watch TV together. Love my mom dearly - but due to dementia she can’t really do anything and conversations are difficult. Friends are a long flight away and the ones so tried to make locally don’t seem to like me much after all and I’m too exhausted to try yet again.

You are in charge of your life. You can choose to be mournful and wallow. Or you can take charge and decide you're going to do some things. Here are some of the things I did:

1) Auditing a class at local university.
2) Coaching a kid's sport that I know well.
3) Found a new exercise routine and stuck with it (ok, that's solo).
4) Rediscovered music and concerts -- I did the AARP concert circuit this last year.
5) Set goals -- one is to publish a short story within a year (see (1)).
6) Since I'm divorced, dipped my toe back into OLD. I realize that doesn't apply to you.
7) Set more goals -- read a book a month, learn to cook one new meal a month. It doesn't have to be good, but it does have to be attempted.
8) Travel. I planned travel to see family, friends, and just for adventure. Solo travel, even.