Empty nest - lonely?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Anyone who felt profoundly lonely aaa their best was emptying? One DC is leaving, the other basically hates me. DH never does anything, doesn’t really talk much either. We can’t even watch TV together. Love my mom dearly - but due to dementia she can’t really do anything and conversations are difficult. Friends are a long flight away and the ones so tried to make locally don’t seem to like me much after all and I’m too exhausted to try yet again. |
Anonymous
| ^^ As their nest .. |
Anonymous
| Yes, I do, OP. But you will be attacked as a loser for sharing these thoughts here. I actually started looking around for a support group of some sort for this stage but no luck. |
Anonymous
| I was divorced by the time my nest emptied, and my mom was becoming more and more needy so I just replaced caring for a child with caring for a parent. But aside from that I really enjoy having an empty nest. Find something you enjoy doing for you, even if it’s just talking a walk around the block. |
Anonymous
Hugs to you OP. I am not yet an empty nester but I just turned 50 and I am starting to wonder what the next phase holds. I love my job and don’t plan to retire soon but I am now starting to have more free time as my kids get older. DH LOVES watching television - he will binge watch shows for hours at a time. I don’t like television at all so it isn’t a hobby we share. We have been going to gym together and that is fun. I think I may join a sporting team. |
Anonymous
| Why does one child not like you? Work on that. |
Anonymous
|
My next just emptied and I would like to be lonelier -- my husband (great guy, love him) is still here wants us to do all! the! things! together.
Meanwhile I am worn out from 25 years of carrying the mental load and would just like a few months alone. I mean, take care of the dog, see my friends occasionally, go into the office as needed. But mostly, just have some peace and quiet and do what I want to do without worrying that I am letting someone down. |
Anonymous
Sometimes that's not possible, and no it doesn't mean OP is the problem, that she's a narcissistic boomer or anything close. |
Anonymous
I’m in that phase right now, kind of. Just want peace and to do my own thing more or less, doing things I genuinely enjoy. I do social stuff too when I feel like it, but scaling down and simplifying things. |
Anonymous
| To OP, it does get tiresome to try again. I have to remind myself it’s like fishing—if you don’t try, you won’t get a fish. Don’t take each failed attempt personally. Be more like a patient fisherman. |
Anonymous
This. Caring hasn't stopped, its just for a new person with even more needs. I have also found how nice it is to do the things I enjoy doing - taking time for friends, exercise, and activities. What did you enjoy before kids? Do that. |
Anonymous
| I think you can start doing things and not worry about the people. Do you work outside the house? If not start. Take a class, join a gym, volunteer for Meals on Wheels or be a Girl Scout leader. Take a cooking class or do a reading club. These things will get you started and you will be with people. Don’t worry about friendship right now just be around people and let things naturally occur. As for the dh issue, no advice here. |
Anonymous
| Can you get a dog? My parents got two dogs when my youngest sibling left and they bring them so much joy. |
Anonymous
| Read the book, "Midnight Librarian" and get inspired. There are billions of possibilities of what your next chapter could be |
Anonymous
That book is about regrets. Not about options in life. I think you misread it. |