What to outsource, what to let go, what to start doing? For marriage happiness with a new baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised how many people have frequent cleaners.

Once a month only.

That is it. Two working parents. We are divorced now and it is the same...except he has to manage and clean his own house now. Before I did all of it while working full time. Two kids. Tons of activities. No time.

Perhaps the reason you divorced.

No, or a divorce because we were not compatible on life goals it has nothing to do with anything else. It was not a happy marriage.

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny and I won’t touch my boss’ dirty laundry, but I am happy to help rotate from washer to drier and fold their stuff, which is the time-consuming bit. I also plan, shop for and cook family dinner 4x a week and do all the kids’ laundry.

[Anonymous]

Once a week - Lady1 does laundry, change sheets, tidying up and light cleaning - $20/hour. (3 hours)
Once a week - Lady2 does food prep, makes some meals - $25/hr (6 hours)
Once in 2 week - Lady1 does full house cleaning - $200 (7 hours)
Landscaper for lawn, cleanup, mulching etc - around 1.5K yearly.
$300 yearly bonus to both ladles.

No nanny or daycare cost but I am a sahm. 2 kids only. ILs live with us. No pets.
A large laundry room with 2 washing machine and 2 dryers. Additionally 2 drawer washers for smaller loads.

I think you should outsource -- laundry, cleaning, landscaping -- at the very least very easily. You have a lot on your plate with a baby in the mix and your job. Grocery can be ordered online. Then you just have to solve for meals, childcare and driving kids places. Are you nursing? You may think about getting a parttime nanny so you can have more helping hands.

[Anonymous]

I chose to stay at home.

[Anonymous]

2 kids and I am a stay at home parent
- Weekly cleaning who will do all sheets and help with laundry
- Weekly landscapers
- Regular grocery delivery as well as weekly pre-made meal delivery service I can heat for family
- Weekly date night childcare (sometimes we do lunch date if it is a WFH day)

One of my kids is infant but my friends with 2+ kids of elementary+ age will often have afternoon childcare help too, especially if kids need to be in 2 places at once.

[Anonymous]

Landscaper/yard work is key if you're doing it already.

[Anonymous]

I am a mom of two kids , with a full time job . Hubby works full time . I have cleaners come once a month (they charge a lot bc of the square footage ) , outsource kids laundry to poplin , have a yard man , Instacart grocery delivery . I tried paying someone to meal prep but it was pricey and the lady was kind of messy . Some of my friends do mighty meals

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:House cleaners and lawn care, OP. Nanny who does laundry if it’s in your budget. Good luck. It will get better. You all are still new to this.

This^ for 3 under 5, including a 6 week old:

Nanny 50 hours/week, so 7:30-5:30 M-F. She does baths, kid laundry, etc.

Cleaning 2x/month (every other week). We pick up, clean, change sheets the week the cleaner doesn’t come.

Yard work- Weekly mowing April-October. Seasonal mulching. I shovel in the winter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We only have two kids and have twice-weekly cleaners plus a nanny who carts the kids around to after-school activities and helps them prep part of dinner. The nanny does the kids laundry and the cleaners do sheets & towels. We hire a landscaper.

OP here. This sounds dreamy.

If you can swing it, do it, OP.

A standing weekly date night, sometimes alone, sometimes plans with other couples will help keep your marriage strong.

+100