What to outsource, what to let go, what to start doing? For marriage happiness with a new baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Night nanny

For a 5 month old? Did you even read the OP?

[Anonymous]

You didn’t ask for this but I also couldn’t help thinking of marriage counseling. We have 4 kids and the division of labor and juggling everything around careers took a toll. Yes we have a weekly house cleaner plus an au pair to help manage everything but marriage counseling has really helped us reconnect, create more empathy, and better handle things when it’s just a lot. Good luck OP!

[Anonymous]

My kids were 5 and 7 when the third was born. I had a FT housekeeper/cook/nanny. When kids were in school, I spent time with baby and she cooked, cleaned and did laundry. When kids came back, I took them to their activities and left baby at home.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe you don’t even have cleaners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Laundry service?
We've been busy with work lately so I've started outsourcing our laundry. I still wash the delicates but everything else goes to the laundry service. The company is HappyNest.

Ohhh we have been trying to find a good local laundry service (had a great one where we previously lived but first two tries in DMV were not good). Have you been happy with them? My biggest issue is I hate fragrances and despite both companies saying they would use fragrance free detergent all our clothes came back stinky with fragrance and I had to rewash them.

Laundry service was one of my favorite things to outsource so this would be great.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous

And yes, you may find a Nanny who is willing to do your children’s laundry but not the adult’s.
.

This reminds me of our 1st au pair. We juts had our 3rd kid and hired an au pair. Our third would take long 2-3 hours naps and she got bored. As part of the job requirements she had to do the kids laundry. One day she asked if she could do ours. My response was simple. This is not part of.your job bit I'm not going to stop you.

And things for the next 18 months she did out laundry too. Man, she was a great au pair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We only have two kids and have twice-weekly cleaners plus a nanny who carts the kids around to after-school activities and helps them prep part of dinner. The nanny does the kids laundry and the cleaners do sheets & towels. We hire a landscaper.

OP here. This sounds dreamy.

If you can swing it, do it, OP.

A standing weekly date night, sometimes alone, sometimes plans with other couples will help keep your marriage strong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We only have two kids and have twice-weekly cleaners plus a nanny who carts the kids around to after-school activities and helps them prep part of dinner. The nanny does the kids laundry and the cleaners do sheets & towels. We hire a landscaper.

OP here. This sounds dreamy.

If you can swing it, do it, OP.

A standing weekly date night, sometimes alone, sometimes plans with other couples will help keep your marriage strong.

Date night with other people was great. I would only say this on an anonymous forum, but gossiping about other people’s marriage problems is so much better than constantly focusing on your own marriage problems.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised how many people have frequent cleaners.

Once a month only.

That is it. Two working parents. We are divorced now and it is the same...except he has to manage and clean his own house now. Before I did all of it while working full time. Two kids. Tons of activities. No time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised how many people have frequent cleaners.

Once a month only.

That is it. Two working parents. We are divorced now and it is the same...except he has to manage and clean his own house now. Before I did all of it while working full time. Two kids. Tons of activities. No time.

Perhaps the reason you divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised how many people have frequent cleaners.

Once a month only.

That is it. Two working parents. We are divorced now and it is the same...except he has to manage and clean his own house now. Before I did all of it while working full time. Two kids. Tons of activities. No time.

I would rather read with my kids, play games with them, go for walks with them, play outside, etc., than be scrubbing toilets and moving the refrigerator to clean behind it.

[Anonymous]

Outsource as much domestic work as you can afford (among cleaning, cooking, laundry, lunch packing, party planning) and prioritize time spent with your kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We only have two kids and have twice-weekly cleaners plus a nanny who carts the kids around to after-school activities and helps them prep part of dinner. The nanny does the kids laundry and the cleaners do sheets & towels. We hire a landscaper.

So, you pretty much outsourced everything except cooking and banging.

Please do not derail my thread

No derailing, just clarifying.

Jealous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised how many people have frequent cleaners.

Once a month only.

That is it. Two working parents. We are divorced now and it is the same...except he has to manage and clean his own house now. Before I did all of it while working full time. Two kids. Tons of activities. No time.

LOL! You’re divorced. Might have been cheaper to have the cleaners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We only have two kids and have twice-weekly cleaners plus a nanny who carts the kids around to after-school activities and helps them prep part of dinner. The nanny does the kids laundry and the cleaners do sheets & towels. We hire a landscaper.

Same, but our cleaners only come weekly. I also found since "quiet quitting" my job, life is easier and more joyful. By that I mean, I realized I bring far more value to my employer than what they actually pay me, so now I go into the office maybe once a month, say no a lot of work I don't want to do, and do my work on my schedule, which I fit around school drop offs and yoga classes.