Do your parents consider your choices to be judgments against them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. OP, just from a short post, its obvious that you think you are oh so intelligent, wise, modern, competent and arrogant. How are you any better than her?

I think my choices are better for me. She's a different person and was making those decisions in a different generation and with different options. I also don't think there is a perfect answer. Working and raising kids is hard, with lots of trade offs. You can't have it all.

I said "You can't have it all" to my mom once in the parenting context and she got really insulted: "What do you think I didn't have?!?" So I agree with you OP, and IMO being reasonable and neutral won't fix this.

That said, I find the "just don't tell her about camps" advice to unhelpful. I, and my kids, have a decent relationship with my mom. That includes talking about our lives. There is a lot of middle ground - albeit rocky, and fit for talking about in DCUM - between fighting and grayrocking.