Where to Find A PT Cook/Housekeeper: Can’t do It All With Kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you just have to keep asking around/posting, and be realistic about the amount you need to pay and the quality of candidates for a part-time job.

We paid $35 an hour and couldn’t get anyone to come 5 days per week for 4-5 hrs - they wanted to come 2 or 3 days for full days. We ended up going through a few folks who quit for a full time job before I gave up looking for someone. And it’s not just me - My friends who want something similar either ended up getting full time help, or gave up and don’t have help.

I’m assuming that means that the market for folks who do this part time work requires more than we were willing to pay, but I gave up at that point.

I'm an NP who can't afford more than a biweekly cleaner but the bold seems like it would still help a lot! Having my home tidied every other day and food prepped would still be nice!

I have someone who comes two afternoons a week -- she does all kids' laundry, towels, and some random other loads (inclduing folding and putting away). She fully prepares our dinner those two nights. She unloads the dishwasher those two days and declutters. She does seasonal stuff like rotate out kid's closets, organize play room. Occasionally she will run an errand or two. Two days is absolutely better than zero. She could only do two afternoons because the rest of the hours in her week were already accounted for with similar gigs. We found her through a friend that already used her as a housekeeper, and she (the housekeeper) was looking for another family to get her to 40 hours a week. We pay $125 for each afternoon -- she stays about 4 hours. Money VERY well spent.

We have something similar. 3x week for 4-5 hours.
I pay $40/hr

OP here, do you pay on the books? I’m fed and need to pay on the books. I’m wondering how much this will shrink the pool of potential employees.

Oh please! Just pay them cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between work and kids I’m drowning at home and would like to hire someone 20 hours a week to cook meals and clean/keep the house tidy.

Any suggestions where I can look or post for this kind of role? I haven’t had luck with care..com since the pandemic for other roles.

Then you aren't trying as most women manage very well every damn day. Stop whining and complaining and get organized like the rest of us!

If she can afford it, why not find the help she needs? I have a FT nanny that cleans our house and feeds the kids dinner since my kids are in FT school and she only has them 3.5 hours a day. We pay her 35 hours a week and she works 12-6:30 every day.

That’s kind of sad that your kids have dinner with the nanny every day

No it isn’t. This obsession with having meals together as a family is all American and really weird to me. I spend plenty of time with my kids (especially since I never have to clean the house or do other chores) where we can talk, play, snuggle, etc. My family does not need to have dinner together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between work and kids I’m drowning at home and would like to hire someone 20 hours a week to cook meals and clean/keep the house tidy.

Any suggestions where I can look or post for this kind of role? I haven’t had luck with care..com since the pandemic for other roles.

Then you aren't trying as most women manage very well every damn day. Stop whining and complaining and get organized like the rest of us!

If she can afford it, why not find the help she needs? I have a FT nanny that cleans our house and feeds the kids dinner since my kids are in FT school and she only has them 3.5 hours a day. We pay her 35 hours a week and she works 12-6:30 every day.

That’s kind of sad that your kids have dinner with the nanny every day

No it isn’t. This obsession with having meals together as a family is all American and really weird to me. I spend plenty of time with my kids (especially since I never have to clean the house or do other chores) where we can talk, play, snuggle, etc. My family does not need to have dinner together

It's mostly based on 1950s myths. But I still try and do it because those myths have shaped my perspective.

OP, regarding meal kits, I like to order the 2 person one, as my kids are picky. Then, I make simple additions, like a pot of rice, or scrambled eggs, fresh bread or basic sandwiches and fruit/veg. It seems to work and they are trying new things in a non-pressured sort of way.

I use Hello Fresh and I really like their "Market" products, which allow you to add breakfast bundles and snack packs at reasonable prices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between work and kids I’m drowning at home and would like to hire someone 20 hours a week to cook meals and clean/keep the house tidy.

Any suggestions where I can look or post for this kind of role? I haven’t had luck with care..com since the pandemic for other roles.

Then you aren't trying as most women manage very well every damn day. Stop whining and complaining and get organized like the rest of us!

If she can afford it, why not find the help she needs? I have a FT nanny that cleans our house and feeds the kids dinner since my kids are in FT school and she only has them 3.5 hours a day. We pay her 35 hours a week and she works 12-6:30 every day.

That’s kind of sad that your kids have dinner with the nanny every day

No it isn’t. This obsession with having meals together as a family is all American and really weird to me. I spend plenty of time with my kids (especially since I never have to clean the house or do other chores) where we can talk, play, snuggle, etc. My family does not need to have dinner together

Plus the nanny can probably teach table manners better than OP.

[Anonymous]

You could ask someone who has kids going to school but wants to keep their nanny. So they pay the nanny for school pickup and evenings, but you pay the nanny for daytime cleaning and meal prep. This might take some care to find - people who nanny don't always want to clean and cook - but it could be a nice pairing for the right nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between work and kids I’m drowning at home and would like to hire someone 20 hours a week to cook meals and clean/keep the house tidy.

Any suggestions where I can look or post for this kind of role? I haven’t had luck with care..com since the pandemic for other roles.

Then you aren't trying as most women manage very well every damn day. Stop whining and complaining and get organized like the rest of us!

If she can afford it, why not find the help she needs? I have a FT nanny that cleans our house and feeds the kids dinner since my kids are in FT school and she only has them 3.5 hours a day. We pay her 35 hours a week and she works 12-6:30 every day.

That’s kind of sad that your kids have dinner with the nanny every day

No it isn’t. This obsession with having meals together as a family is all American and really weird to me. I spend plenty of time with my kids (especially since I never have to clean the house or do other chores) where we can talk, play, snuggle, etc. My family does not need to have dinner together

But you are in America. Be American.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between work and kids I’m drowning at home and would like to hire someone 20 hours a week to cook meals and clean/keep the house tidy.

Any suggestions where I can look or post for this kind of role? I haven’t had luck with care..com since the pandemic for other roles.

Then you aren't trying as most women manage very well every damn day. Stop whining and complaining and get organized like the rest of us!

If she can afford it, why not find the help she needs? I have a FT nanny that cleans our house and feeds the kids dinner since my kids are in FT school and she only has them 3.5 hours a day. We pay her 35 hours a week and she works 12-6:30 every day.

That’s kind of sad that your kids have dinner with the nanny every day

No it isn’t. This obsession with having meals together as a family is all American and really weird to me. I spend plenty of time with my kids (especially since I never have to clean the house or do other chores) where we can talk, play, snuggle, etc. My family does not need to have dinner together

Imagine me living in France, posting on a French board, that some French tradition is just so French and really weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you just have to keep asking around/posting, and be realistic about the amount you need to pay and the quality of candidates for a part-time job.

We paid $35 an hour and couldn’t get anyone to come 5 days per week for 4-5 hrs - they wanted to come 2 or 3 days for full days. We ended up going through a few folks who quit for a full time job before I gave up looking for someone. And it’s not just me - My friends who want something similar either ended up getting full time help, or gave up and don’t have help.

I’m assuming that means that the market for folks who do this part time work requires more than we were willing to pay, but I gave up at that point.

I'm an NP who can't afford more than a biweekly cleaner but the bold seems like it would still help a lot! Having my home tidied every other day and food prepped would still be nice!

I have someone who comes two afternoons a week -- she does all kids' laundry, towels, and some random other loads (inclduing folding and putting away). She fully prepares our dinner those two nights. She unloads the dishwasher those two days and declutters. She does seasonal stuff like rotate out kid's closets, organize play room. Occasionally she will run an errand or two. Two days is absolutely better than zero. She could only do two afternoons because the rest of the hours in her week were already accounted for with similar gigs. We found her through a friend that already used her as a housekeeper, and she (the housekeeper) was looking for another family to get her to 40 hours a week. We pay $125 for each afternoon -- she stays about 4 hours. Money VERY well spent.

We have something similar. 3x week for 4-5 hours.
I pay $40/hr

OP here, do you pay on the books? I’m fed and need to pay on the books. I’m wondering how much this will shrink the pool of potential employees.

Oh please! Just pay them cash.

Famous last words. Google Zoe Baird and
Kimba Wood!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between work and kids I’m drowning at home and would like to hire someone 20 hours a week to cook meals and clean/keep the house tidy.

Any suggestions where I can look or post for this kind of role? I haven’t had luck with care..com since the pandemic for other roles.

Then you aren't trying as most women manage very well every damn day. Stop whining and complaining and get organized like the rest of us!

If she can afford it, why not find the help she needs? I have a FT nanny that cleans our house and feeds the kids dinner since my kids are in FT school and she only has them 3.5 hours a day. We pay her 35 hours a week and she works 12-6:30 every day.

That’s kind of sad that your kids have dinner with the nanny every day

No it isn’t. This obsession with having meals together as a family is all American and really weird to me. I spend plenty of time with my kids (especially since I never have to clean the house or do other chores) where we can talk, play, snuggle, etc. My family does not need to have dinner together

But you are in America. Be American.

No need. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between work and kids I’m drowning at home and would like to hire someone 20 hours a week to cook meals and clean/keep the house tidy.

Any suggestions where I can look or post for this kind of role? I haven’t had luck with care..com since the pandemic for other roles.

Then you aren't trying as most women manage very well every damn day. Stop whining and complaining and get organized like the rest of us!

If she can afford it, why not find the help she needs? I have a FT nanny that cleans our house and feeds the kids dinner since my kids are in FT school and she only has them 3.5 hours a day. We pay her 35 hours a week and she works 12-6:30 every day.

That’s kind of sad that your kids have dinner with the nanny every day

No it isn’t. This obsession with having meals together as a family is all American and really weird to me. I spend plenty of time with my kids (especially since I never have to clean the house or do other chores) where we can talk, play, snuggle, etc. My family does not need to have dinner together

Imagine me living in France, posting on a French board, that some French tradition is just so French and really weird.

That would be fine if someone criticized your life style saying that “it’s sad your kids never have dinner with you”. I was explaining that this obsession with having dinner together as a family as the holy grail for spending time with the family is not all that is thought to be. In other countries meal time is for eating (as it is for most American families I see… not much talking happening around little kids meals). I am very close to my parents and we did not have mandatory dinners together.
Similarly, I am very close to my kids and husband, but we only eat dinner together 2-3 days a week.

[Anonymous]

Op this seems like a perfect job for a SAHM whose kids are older. Ask on neighborhood FB group. I’d love a job like this.

[Anonymous]

I have had this before and paid on the books, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between work and kids I’m drowning at home and would like to hire someone 20 hours a week to cook meals and clean/keep the house tidy.

Any suggestions where I can look or post for this kind of role? I haven’t had luck with care..com since the pandemic for other roles.

Then you aren't trying as most women manage very well every damn day. Stop whining and complaining and get organized like the rest of us!

If she can afford it, why not find the help she needs? I have a FT nanny that cleans our house and feeds the kids dinner since my kids are in FT school and she only has them 3.5 hours a day. We pay her 35 hours a week and she works 12-6:30 every day.

That’s kind of sad that your kids have dinner with the nanny every day

No it isn’t. This obsession with having meals together as a family is all American and really weird to me. I spend plenty of time with my kids (especially since I never have to clean the house or do other chores) where we can talk, play, snuggle, etc. My family does not need to have dinner together

Imagine me living in France, posting on a French board, that some French tradition is just so French and really weird.

That would be fine if someone criticized your life style saying that “it’s sad your kids never have dinner with you”. I was explaining that this obsession with having dinner together as a family as the holy grail for spending time with the family is not all that is thought to be. In other countries meal time is for eating (as it is for most American families I see… not much talking happening around little kids meals). I am very close to my parents and we did not have mandatory dinners together.
Similarly, I am very close to my kids and husband, but we only eat dinner together 2-3 days a week.

I’m pretty sure that sharing a meal together at the same time is universal. Tell me a country where it’s normal not to eat together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between work and kids I’m drowning at home and would like to hire someone 20 hours a week to cook meals and clean/keep the house tidy.

Any suggestions where I can look or post for this kind of role? I haven’t had luck with care..com since the pandemic for other roles.

Then you aren't trying as most women manage very well every damn day. Stop whining and complaining and get organized like the rest of us!

If she can afford it, why not find the help she needs? I have a FT nanny that cleans our house and feeds the kids dinner since my kids are in FT school and she only has them 3.5 hours a day. We pay her 35 hours a week and she works 12-6:30 every day.

That’s kind of sad that your kids have dinner with the nanny every day

No it isn’t. This obsession with having meals together as a family is all American and really weird to me. I spend plenty of time with my kids (especially since I never have to clean the house or do other chores) where we can talk, play, snuggle, etc. My family does not need to have dinner together

Imagine me living in France, posting on a French board, that some French tradition is just so French and really weird.

That would be fine if someone criticized your life style saying that “it’s sad your kids never have dinner with you”. I was explaining that this obsession with having dinner together as a family as the holy grail for spending time with the family is not all that is thought to be. In other countries meal time is for eating (as it is for most American families I see… not much talking happening around little kids meals). I am very close to my parents and we did not have mandatory dinners together.
Similarly, I am very close to my kids and husband, but we only eat dinner together 2-3 days a week.

I’m pretty sure that sharing a meal together at the same time is universal. Tell me a country where it’s normal not to eat together.

I am Italian and the only times I ate together with my family (and often extended family) was on weekends and on holidays. The sam applied to all my friends except for some of the ones that had a SAHM. I am not saying it never happens, but it isn’t something I cherish at all (nor do I feel mandatory in our lives)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between work and kids I’m drowning at home and would like to hire someone 20 hours a week to cook meals and clean/keep the house tidy.

Any suggestions where I can look or post for this kind of role? I haven’t had luck with care..com since the pandemic for other roles.

Then you aren't trying as most women manage very well every damn day. Stop whining and complaining and get organized like the rest of us!

If she can afford it, why not find the help she needs? I have a FT nanny that cleans our house and feeds the kids dinner since my kids are in FT school and she only has them 3.5 hours a day. We pay her 35 hours a week and she works 12-6:30 every day.

That’s kind of sad that your kids have dinner with the nanny every day

No it isn’t. This obsession with having meals together as a family is all American and really weird to me. I spend plenty of time with my kids (especially since I never have to clean the house or do other chores) where we can talk, play, snuggle, etc. My family does not need to have dinner together

Imagine me living in France, posting on a French board, that some French tradition is just so French and really weird.

That would be fine if someone criticized your life style saying that “it’s sad your kids never have dinner with you”. I was explaining that this obsession with having dinner together as a family as the holy grail for spending time with the family is not all that is thought to be. In other countries meal time is for eating (as it is for most American families I see… not much talking happening around little kids meals). I am very close to my parents and we did not have mandatory dinners together.
Similarly, I am very close to my kids and husband, but we only eat dinner together 2-3 days a week.

I’m pretty sure that sharing a meal together at the same time is universal. Tell me a country where it’s normal not to eat together.

I am Italian and the only times I ate together with my family (and often extended family) was on weekends and on holidays. The sam applied to all my friends except for some of the ones that had a SAHM. I am not saying it never happens, but it isn’t something I cherish at all (nor do I feel mandatory in our lives)

Most families in most countries eat at least one meal of the day together unless schedules don’t permit. Food preparation and consumption has always been largely communal. This is not some American thing except as regards the modern view of trying to prioritize family dinner as a reaction to the latchkey TV dinners and snack dinners of the 80s. Look at any movie from any time period of any country. If it shows dinner the family is nearly always eating together. Often breakfast too. Heck kids used to go home for lunch with family.