Major behavioral shift/regression with DS6

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid gets super attached to caregivers and really moody after transitions away from them. I would put him back in activities and reinforce that people come in and out of our lives but he is always loved. Can he FaceTime or write to the nanny?

We cut out the FaceTimes because it was causing too much drama.

Seems cut and dry is the best approach. Too emotional.

Helping your child manage, not avoid, strong emotions is literally your entire job as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP— respectfully, your answers seem to suggest that you are being dismissive of your son’s attachment to your former nanny. In fact, your son is acting just the way grief makes a person of that age act.

Right?! OP is all over far fetched possibilities like sleep apnea when the obvious answer is her son was extremely attached to the nanny (which he should be).

OP, get over your insecurity, put on your big girl panties, and be a parent. In this case it means helping your son process the fact that the nanny has left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was he not having any bathroom accidents before? How many times has he had an accident recently?

Nope.

He was potty trained at 2.5 but still needed a nighttime pull-up till 4. Zero accidents since 4.5.

I would definitely bring back the pull-ups for nighttime. Make sure he understands it’s not a punishment and there are a lot of kids who need them. Tell him if he can stay dry for a week with no accidents then he can try sleeping without them.

Yes, bring back the pull-ups. Make sure he tries going to the bathroom but if he has an accident it’s no big deal.

[Anonymous]

As PPs state, you need to rethink your approach to his big emotions. Welcome them, let him purge and pass through the feelings. He is probably scared of how much he’s feeling and then you judge him for it.

Start by sharing your own discomfort with him once in awhile. Say how much YOU miss nanny and old house and life before baby. Give him permission to feel what he feels and it will “metabolize” much faster.

You’re a great candidate for Janet Lansbury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 6 year old had a couple night time accidents but I think it’s because he is tired out from day camp. I’m still confused about why he needs monitoring to such an extent that you would drop all activities. Did the supervisors recommend he be pulled?

I’ve seen a shift in my rising 1st grader - increased pickiness in eating, more defiance, bossy with other kids, waaaailing when a little hurt, etc. But I attribute that to summer time. His routines are all different, he doesn’t have the structure of school, is physically wiped out from outdoor activities and camp, and he’s of the age where he wants to start saying no and making decisions just for the sake of it.

I’m wondering if it’s just the age too. Thinking back a lot of my anxiety manifested around first grade.

Mine too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid gets super attached to caregivers and really moody after transitions away from them. I would put him back in activities and reinforce that people come in and out of our lives but he is always loved. Can he FaceTime or write to the nanny?

We cut out the FaceTimes because it was causing too much drama.

Seems cut and dry is the best approach. Too emotional.

I feel so badly for your poor son. He’s lost someone who he was close to, and instead of helping him through it you are dismissing him as being “too emotional”. You are awful. The regression will be over more quickly if you acknowledge to him how hard this is, and help him process the emotions instead of dismissing and minimizing them. You’re not the worst mother ever, but you’re not great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP— respectfully, your answers seem to suggest that you are being dismissive of your son’s attachment to your former nanny. In fact, your son is acting just the way grief makes a person of that age act.

Right?! OP is all over far fetched possibilities like sleep apnea when the obvious answer is her son was extremely attached to the nanny (which he should be).

OP, get over your insecurity, put on your big girl panties, and be a parent. In this case it means helping your son process the fact that the nanny has left.

+1. It’s not sleep apnea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP— respectfully, your answers seem to suggest that you are being dismissive of your son’s attachment to your former nanny. In fact, your son is acting just the way grief makes a person of that age act.

Right?! OP is all over far fetched possibilities like sleep apnea when the obvious answer is her son was extremely attached to the nanny (which he should be).

OP, get over your insecurity, put on your big girl panties, and be a parent. In this case it means helping your son process the fact that the nanny has left.

Sleep apnea is not far fetched. It’s much more common than you realize. I had one child diagnosed at 5 and one at 8. Bed wetting is a classic symptom. Trouble regulating behavior and emotions as well as academic regression are also symptoms. It took multiple specialists before we figured out why one of my kids was acting so different so suddenly. Every doctor assumed it was because of a situation going on at school because it seemed like the most likely explanation. As a parent, my gut told me there was more to it because the changes were so dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Girl. It's the nanny. Get it together and help your kid process this.

[Anonymous]

Been going through a similar situation. How’s your son been since school started?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid gets super attached to caregivers and really moody after transitions away from them. I would put him back in activities and reinforce that people come in and out of our lives but he is always loved. Can he FaceTime or write to the nanny?

We cut out the FaceTimes because it was causing too much drama.

Seems cut and dry is the best approach. Too emotional.

I feel so badly for your poor son. He’s lost someone who he was close to, and instead of helping him through it you are dismissing him as being “too emotional”. You are awful. The regression will be over more quickly if you acknowledge to him how hard this is, and help him process the emotions instead of dismissing and minimizing them. You’re not the worst mother ever, but you’re not great.

She cares enough to think about it quite a bit and even came here for advice. She's a great mother.

get lost little ms (im)perfect and seek help for your holier than thou disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid gets super attached to caregivers and really moody after transitions away from them. I would put him back in activities and reinforce that people come in and out of our lives but he is always loved. Can he FaceTime or write to the nanny?

We cut out the FaceTimes because it was causing too much drama.

Seems cut and dry is the best approach. Too emotional.

I don’t think this is so good for your child. Depending on your child’s sensitivity and number of hours spent with the nanny, this could definitely be an issue — he is mourning a primary attachment.

I think you need to acknowledge these feelings and be there to hold space for his sadness. If he has to stuff them down or not feel them it’s going to make this much more difficult. Also, why does she need to be out of his life altogether? Can she still sit on the weekends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid gets super attached to caregivers and really moody after transitions away from them. I would put him back in activities and reinforce that people come in and out of our lives but he is always loved. Can he FaceTime or write to the nanny?

We cut out the FaceTimes because it was causing too much drama.

Seems cut and dry is the best approach. Too emotional.

I feel so badly for your poor son. He’s lost someone who he was close to, and instead of helping him through it you are dismissing him as being “too emotional”. You are awful. The regression will be over more quickly if you acknowledge to him how hard this is, and help him process the emotions instead of dismissing and minimizing them. You’re not the worst mother ever, but you’re not great.

+1 I hate to mom shame but you are pretty dismissive of what seems obviously an attachment issue and grieving the end of the relationship. The way you said you needed to cut off the FT because it was too emotional like he needs to get over it already… you chose to have kids and work and have a nanny. Now you are mad that this any meant something to him. Your selfish insecurity is coming out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid gets super attached to caregivers and really moody after transitions away from them. I would put him back in activities and reinforce that people come in and out of our lives but he is always loved. Can he FaceTime or write to the nanny?

We cut out the FaceTimes because it was causing too much drama.

Seems cut and dry is the best approach. Too emotional.

I feel so badly for your poor son. He’s lost someone who he was close to, and instead of helping him through it you are dismissing him as being “too emotional”. You are awful. The regression will be over more quickly if you acknowledge to him how hard this is, and help him process the emotions instead of dismissing and minimizing them. You’re not the worst mother ever, but you’re not great.

She cares enough to think about it quite a bit and even came here for advice. She's a great mother.

get lost little ms (im)perfect and seek help for your holier than thou disorder.

Hi OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid gets super attached to caregivers and really moody after transitions away from them. I would put him back in activities and reinforce that people come in and out of our lives but he is always loved. Can he FaceTime or write to the nanny?

We cut out the FaceTimes because it was causing too much drama.

Seems cut and dry is the best approach. Too emotional.

I feel so badly for your poor son. He’s lost someone who he was close to, and instead of helping him through it you are dismissing him as being “too emotional”. You are awful. The regression will be over more quickly if you acknowledge to him how hard this is, and help him process the emotions instead of dismissing and minimizing them. You’re not the worst mother ever, but you’re not great.

She cares enough to think about it quite a bit and even came here for advice. She's a great mother.

get lost little ms (im)perfect and seek help for your holier than thou disorder.

Hi OP!

Nah just a casual and infrequent reader

Hi Karen(s) !