Major behavioral shift/regression with DS6

[Anonymous]

DS is a bright kid who will be starting first grade next month.

Over the summer we’ve seen a major behavioral shift in his behavior as well as some skill regression.

He’s always been a witty, sunny, playful, silly, boisterous, adventures and independent kid. But he has become increasingly sad, clingy and needy.

We’ve also had a few nighttime accidents (has been fully nighttime trained since 4) paired with some newfound academic struggles that has us concerned.

We visited the Peditrician earlier this month and were referred to a child therapist. We also had any physical illnesses or ailments ruled out (he hasn’t been sick since March, and this behavior started early June). We’ve had two sessions so far and he seems to be responding well.

We ended up cutting all summer activities (day camps, sports, outings without us) because we are so freaked out and he seems to be wanting tons of one on one attention with us.

We’ve had a few life changes the past year. New baby sibling born last summer, new house in January (which he seems to love) and then our longtime nanny left after the school year ended and he seems overly upset by that but he’s genuinely very emotional right now.

He has stated numerous times he has not been hurt or made to feel uncomfortable around others and I addressed this fear with the therapist.

Obviously I’m terrified abuse has happened or he is suffering from depression which is definitely an issue in our family. But he just seems so young.

Has anyone seen a major change in their child that couldn’t be pinpointed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is a bright kid who will be starting first grade next month.

Over the summer we’ve seen a major behavioral shift in his behavior as well as some skill regression.

He’s always been a witty, sunny, playful, silly, boisterous, adventures and independent kid. But he has become increasingly sad, clingy and needy.

We’ve also had a few nighttime accidents (has been fully nighttime trained since 4) paired with some newfound academic struggles that has us concerned.

We visited the Peditrician earlier this month and were referred to a child therapist. We also had any physical illnesses or ailments ruled out (he hasn’t been sick since March, and this behavior started early June). We’ve had two sessions so far and he seems to be responding well.

We ended up cutting all summer activities (day camps, sports, outings without us) because we are so freaked out and he seems to be wanting tons of one on one attention with us.

We’ve had a few life changes the past year. New baby sibling born last summer, new house in January (which he seems to love) and then our longtime nanny left after the school year ended and he seems overly upset by that but he’s genuinely very emotional right now.

He has stated numerous times he has not been hurt or made to feel uncomfortable around others and I addressed this fear with the therapist.

Obviously I’m terrified abuse has happened or he is suffering from depression which is definitely an issue in our family. But he just seems so young.

Has anyone seen a major change in their child that couldn’t be pinpointed?

I wouldn't discount his relationship with the nanny. I know to you she was just "the nanny", but to him she was, at least, a primary caregiver. I think losing her could count for a lot.

Also, he is young for a depressive episode, but it's not unheard of.

In any event, it sounds like you are doing all the right things. Try not to worry too much and just keep doing what you can.

[Anonymous]

Did he want to drop all activities? I’m confused, because your response doesn’t really seem proportionate to the issue here.

[Anonymous]

Was he not having any bathroom accidents before? How many times has he had an accident recently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did he want to drop all activities? I’m confused, because your response doesn’t really seem proportionate to the issue here.

We dropped any activities where we can’t actively monitor him.

So, no day camp. Yes, soccer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was he not having any bathroom accidents before? How many times has he had an accident recently?

Nope.

He was potty trained at 2.5 but still needed a nighttime pull-up till 4. Zero accidents since 4.5.

[Anonymous]

My 6 year old had a couple night time accidents but I think it’s because he is tired out from day camp. I’m still confused about why he needs monitoring to such an extent that you would drop all activities. Did the supervisors recommend he be pulled?

I’ve seen a shift in my rising 1st grader - increased pickiness in eating, more defiance, bossy with other kids, waaaailing when a little hurt, etc. But I attribute that to summer time. His routines are all different, he doesn’t have the structure of school, is physically wiped out from outdoor activities and camp, and he’s of the age where he wants to start saying no and making decisions just for the sake of it.

[Anonymous]

His primary caregiver left!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6 year old had a couple night time accidents but I think it’s because he is tired out from day camp. I’m still confused about why he needs monitoring to such an extent that you would drop all activities. Did the supervisors recommend he be pulled?

I’ve seen a shift in my rising 1st grader - increased pickiness in eating, more defiance, bossy with other kids, waaaailing when a little hurt, etc. But I attribute that to summer time. His routines are all different, he doesn’t have the structure of school, is physically wiped out from outdoor activities and camp, and he’s of the age where he wants to start saying no and making decisions just for the sake of it.

I’m wondering if it’s just the age too. Thinking back a lot of my anxiety manifested around first grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His primary caregiver left!

[Anonymous]

Obviously a lot of emotional changes but on the physical side could he be constipated? It could explain the pee accidents and behavior change. I’d take him for a bowel x-ray.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously a lot of emotional changes but on the physical side could he be constipated? It could explain the pee accidents and behavior change. I’d take him for a bowel x-ray.

Nope. Doctor checked stomach and it’s nice and soft. He’s a very regular pooper and has been every morning.

Not complaining of a stomachache. Eating fine.

[Anonymous]

Your child seems sad so you pulled him out of all fun activities? What in the what?

[Anonymous]

Can’t be pinpointed?? Imagine if your mom took care of him and then died at the end of the school year. You’d expect this exact reaction- clingy, emotional, accidents. That’s essentially what happened to him. I think your reaction was way off base. He needs love and time and probably distraction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was he not having any bathroom accidents before? How many times has he had an accident recently?

Nope.

He was potty trained at 2.5 but still needed a nighttime pull-up till 4. Zero accidents since 4.5.

I would definitely bring back the pull-ups for nighttime. Make sure he understands it’s not a punishment and there are a lot of kids who need them. Tell him if he can stay dry for a week with no accidents then he can try sleeping without them.