Your experiences with in person book clubs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have tried twice. The key to a good book club is not having one dominant personality who bulldozes everyone with their opinion and doesn't let anyone else speak. I experienced this twice and it's permanently put me off trying again.

We have discussion questions based on the book that we take turns answering. This keeps the dominant talkers somewhat in check as people are taking turns speaking.

That is smart. I think the other thing I experienced was that I was a Literature major and the dominant person in each of these two instances was not, so their responses to books that went on and on and on were always very personal and emotive and off track rather than remotely interesting or analytical. I expect having questions really helps avoid that.

Haha, yes, I’m sure your lit degree means that your opinions are more valid and more intelligent than anyone else’s.

[Anonymous]

I moved away but used to have a great group. Neighborhood ladies, all walkable. Woman who hosts has drinks and appetizers, that rotates each month. Host also chooses the book, at least 3 months ahead. We had enough people that it was a standing date and if you needed to miss you did. I will admit that it became less and less book oriented as we became better friends, but it was easy to maintain and no work for everyone except the host each month. I read a lot of books I would not have otherwise.

My least favorite was one where we always voted on the date (took forever to land on a date that worked for all), voted on each book (same people banded together to vote books in, which just means it probably wasn’t a good fit for me but anyway). And it was a pot luck on a weeknight so everyone had to hustle to make an appetizer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have tried twice. The key to a good book club is not having one dominant personality who bulldozes everyone with their opinion and doesn't let anyone else speak. I experienced this twice and it's permanently put me off trying again.

We have discussion questions based on the book that we take turns answering. This keeps the dominant talkers somewhat in check as people are taking turns speaking.

That is smart. I think the other thing I experienced was that I was a Literature major and the dominant person in each of these two instances was not, so their responses to books that went on and on and on were always very personal and emotive and off track rather than remotely interesting or analytical. I expect having questions really helps avoid that.

Haha, yes, I’m sure your lit degree means that your opinions are more valid and more intelligent than anyone else’s.

no they're just different. if you're not used to analyzing texts you wouldn't understand, which I suspect you don't. It's not snobbery it's just different skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one with a group of friends, but half the time we got derailed with other conversations or people wouldn’t read the book.

I love discussing books but am very much a mood reader. Hard to commit to a book club where books are pre-chosen.

Same! Having assigned reading makes me feel like I'm back in school.

You're not being graded. It's not assigned. It's voluntary.

It's voluntary to join and participate in a book club, but most of them do pick a book to read so it does feel like it's assigned.

True but I’ve been in two book clubs and have ended up reading books I never would have picked up otherwise. And absolutely loved. Yes there are times I don’t like the book but I’ll just skip the meeting that month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The first book group I was in was with a group of friends/friends of friends who were all decent readers. We'd move around house to house, the person hosting would also present 'her' book for the evening. It was a potluck dinner situation which was distracting with all the fussing around food. Not everyone would have read the book, so it mostly just turned into a dinner party with people who had mostly read the same book and were kind of discussing it.

The group I'm in now is more serious and has a facilitator we pay a nominal amount to. We choose the books in 3 or 4 month increments, mostly Booker winners or such. Sometimes we'll toss in a memoir to mix it up. It's in the evening, no food beyond tea/coffee and a small snack or dessert. It's in a member's house who is centrally located to the rest of us. I love this group! The discussions are largely kept to the book, the author, but on occasion we'll veer off if someone has personal anecdotes that relate to the work. It's so interesting, I read things I otherwise would not and it takes me out of the rest of me life.

That second group, the one you're in now, sounds perfect. No alcohol, no distracting food and people have come actively wanting to read the book itself. Hang onto that one!

Is alcohol and or snacks really a distraction? I don't see that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have tried twice. The key to a good book club is not having one dominant personality who bulldozes everyone with their opinion and doesn't let anyone else speak. I experienced this twice and it's permanently put me off trying again.

We have discussion questions based on the book that we take turns answering. This keeps the dominant talkers somewhat in check as people are taking turns speaking.

That is smart. I think the other thing I experienced was that I was a Literature major and the dominant person in each of these two instances was not, so their responses to books that went on and on and on were always very personal and emotive and off track rather than remotely interesting or analytical. I expect having questions really helps avoid that.

Haha, yes, I’m sure your lit degree means that your opinions are more valid and more intelligent than anyone else’s.

no they're just different. if you're not used to analyzing texts you wouldn't understand, which I suspect you don't. It's not snobbery it's just different skills.

Your response indicates otherwise. You sound pretty insufferable.

[Anonymous]

I've been in two. One was neighborhood one, good mix of ages and books selected. I ended up dropping out because dinner was provided by the (rotating) host for everyone on the Thursday of every month that it was hosted. Fairly elaborate often. At the time I was working a very demanding and travel intensive job with young kids, and didn't feel that I could commit to that kind of hosting, and that it was also unfair to come and participate if I could not or would not reciprocate. I still live in the neighborhood but the book club disbanded over the years as people moved away, etc.

Second one suffered from the common problem of half of the people either not reading the book or only half reading it and then not wanting "spoilers" . Lots of chatting about everything but the book. I ended up quitting.

I'd love to find another one though.

[Anonymous]

Women only, otherwise you end up with some hook-ups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have tried twice. The key to a good book club is not having one dominant personality who bulldozes everyone with their opinion and doesn't let anyone else speak. I experienced this twice and it's permanently put me off trying again.

We have discussion questions based on the book that we take turns answering. This keeps the dominant talkers somewhat in check as people are taking turns speaking.

That is smart. I think the other thing I experienced was that I was a Literature major and the dominant person in each of these two instances was not, so their responses to books that went on and on and on were always very personal and emotive and off track rather than remotely interesting or analytical. I expect having questions really helps avoid that.

Haha, yes, I’m sure your lit degree means that your opinions are more valid and more intelligent than anyone else’s.

no they're just different. if you're not used to analyzing texts you wouldn't understand, which I suspect you don't. It's not snobbery it's just different skills.

Your response indicates otherwise. You sound pretty insufferable.

I’m very comfortable analyzing texts, also an English major. I enjoy hearing different perspectives on books. I love all the new worlds that are available to me through books, and that is expanded further by the different perspectives of others.

I don’t like people who are snobs, so yes, I would not want to be in a book club with PP. Sounds awful.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never attended a book club. My impressions (which may be completely wrong) are that book clubs tend to either read angsty books and then have angsty discussions about how they connect with the books, or read “literature” and then have literary discussions as described above. Neither of those types of experiences interests me (although there may be other book clubs that offer something completely different, of which I am simply ignorant.)

This discussion has caused me to reflect on what type of book club would appeal to me. The book club I’ve imagined, I would love to attend, but am doubtful it exists. Does anyone know of a book club where:

Each member reads 2 books each month. One would be a designated book (fiction or nonfiction) everyone read to anchor the theme, the other would be a tangential book that they would individually choose to provide insight and stimulate discussion during the book club.

So for example:

If the book club read A Tale of Two Cities, members might read about France, the French Revolution, Dickens, Paris, London, etc.

If the book club read a biography of George Washington, members might read about colonial America, plantations and/or slavery practices of the time, the French and Indian War, the Revolutionary War, how the role of president has evolved over time

Members could pick whatever individual book interested them, however niche, and in doing so would explore interests and perspectives that might not have ever occurred to the rest.

Does such a group exist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never attended a book club. My impressions (which may be completely wrong) are that book clubs tend to either read angsty books and then have angsty discussions about how they connect with the books, or read “literature” and then have literary discussions as described above. Neither of those types of experiences interests me (although there may be other book clubs that offer something completely different, of which I am simply ignorant.)

This discussion has caused me to reflect on what type of book club would appeal to me. The book club I’ve imagined, I would love to attend, but am doubtful it exists. Does anyone know of a book club where:

Each member reads 2 books each month. One would be a designated book (fiction or nonfiction) everyone read to anchor the theme, the other would be a tangential book that they would individually choose to provide insight and stimulate discussion during the book club.

So for example:

If the book club read A Tale of Two Cities, members might read about France, the French Revolution, Dickens, Paris, London, etc.

If the book club read a biography of George Washington, members might read about colonial America, plantations and/or slavery practices of the time, the French and Indian War, the Revolutionary War, how the role of president has evolved over time

Members could pick whatever individual book interested them, however niche, and in doing so would explore interests and perspectives that might not have ever occurred to the rest.

Does such a group exist?

I'm one of the PPs who has been in two book clubs (with limited success). This sounds like a GREAT idea for a book club. I would definitely do this.

Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

I've tried to be in a bunch of book clubs and I always end up dropping out. I just don't read as quickly as I want - and so being in a book club basically means I only read the book club book and maybe one or two other books per month. I'm just never willing to commit to reading someone else's book choice like that!

My mom is in two books clubs and loves it. She reads really good books, has met some great people - I hope one day if I get to retire I will be able to read more and join a club (and actually stick with it!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never attended a book club. My impressions (which may be completely wrong) are that book clubs tend to either read angsty books and then have angsty discussions about how they connect with the books, or read “literature” and then have literary discussions as described above. Neither of those types of experiences interests me (although there may be other book clubs that offer something completely different, of which I am simply ignorant.)

This discussion has caused me to reflect on what type of book club would appeal to me. The book club I’ve imagined, I would love to attend, but am doubtful it exists. Does anyone know of a book club where:

Each member reads 2 books each month. One would be a designated book (fiction or nonfiction) everyone read to anchor the theme, the other would be a tangential book that they would individually choose to provide insight and stimulate discussion during the book club.

So for example:

If the book club read A Tale of Two Cities, members might read about France, the French Revolution, Dickens, Paris, London, etc.

If the book club read a biography of George Washington, members might read about colonial America, plantations and/or slavery practices of the time, the French and Indian War, the Revolutionary War, how the role of president has evolved over time

Members could pick whatever individual book interested them, however niche, and in doing so would explore interests and perspectives that might not have ever occurred to the rest.

Does such a group exist?

I'm one of the PPs who has been in two book clubs (with limited success). This sounds like a GREAT idea for a book club. I would definitely do this.

Where do you live?

That sounds like a great idea but a little daunting of it were assigned.

Often people in my book club explore a little more to bring something new to the conversation, but not always a whole book. For example for Pachinko last month one person ended up reading an article about the game, another talked about living in Korea, another had read a history of the Japanese occupation, and another happened to listen to a podcast or two interview with the author. All these extra bits added to the discussion, but they happened organically. Some months I might have time to do a deeper dive and some months I'm scrambling to finish the main book itself.

We meet in a public place (generally a library) but alternate who is hosting and the host generally brings questions to help guide the discussion if it gets slow. Sometimes we come up with our own questions and sometimes we pull from the Internet.