Your experiences with in person book clubs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have tried twice. The key to a good book club is not having one dominant personality who bulldozes everyone with their opinion and doesn't let anyone else speak. I experienced this twice and it's permanently put me off trying again.

We have discussion questions based on the book that we take turns answering. This keeps the dominant talkers somewhat in check as people are taking turns speaking.

[Anonymous]

I'm currently in 2 successful, long running book clubs. One of them is with my mom & her sisters and the female offspring of that generation. It's been meeting for maybe 20 years now.

The other one is a neighborhood book club. Over time it's become a bit more like social hour, but pretty much everyone reads the books still & we do talk about them some.

I was in a great one in my 20s through meetup. We were all single and we ended up having some great times. It fell apart as people got married & moved out of the city and had kids, but I still have several friends from that group that I keep in touch with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have tried twice. The key to a good book club is not having one dominant personality who bulldozes everyone with their opinion and doesn't let anyone else speak. I experienced this twice and it's permanently put me off trying again.

We have discussion questions based on the book that we take turns answering. This keeps the dominant talkers somewhat in check as people are taking turns speaking.

That is smart. I think the other thing I experienced was that I was a Literature major and the dominant person in each of these two instances was not, so their responses to books that went on and on and on were always very personal and emotive and off track rather than remotely interesting or analytical. I expect having questions really helps avoid that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one with a group of friends, but half the time we got derailed with other conversations or people wouldn’t read the book.

I love discussing books but am very much a mood reader. Hard to commit to a book club where books are pre-chosen.

Same! Having assigned reading makes me feel like I'm back in school.

You're not being graded. It's not assigned. It's voluntary.

[Anonymous]

I've been in two. In both cases, I found people coming who didn't read the book, and tried to derail conversations about the book. One book club kept veering towards books only available on hardcover, which was also annoying. I prefer now to read what I want and use this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been in two. In both cases, I found people coming who didn't read the book, and tried to derail conversations about the book. One book club kept veering towards books only available on hardcover, which was also annoying. I prefer now to read what I want and use this forum.

Yeah that's also bad.

[Anonymous]

I have been part of two successful book clubs.

The first has been going on for many years and focused on biographies. However, the people in it were much older than me and all retired, and they wanted to meet during the day. I didn't find the biographies they chose very interesting, not diverse at all and mostly dead people from the previous century or earlier.

I find the second one much better. It's all women and they are younger than me, but they pick contemporary works that are new and have come out in the last year or two. I find the discussions well run and we meet over drinks at a bar. I just find it is a better fit for me and they meet at night which is easier when you work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been part of two successful book clubs.

The first has been going on for many years and focused on biographies. However, the people in it were much older than me and all retired, and they wanted to meet during the day. I didn't find the biographies they chose very interesting, not diverse at all and mostly dead people from the previous century or earlier.

I find the second one much better. It's all women and they are younger than me, but they pick contemporary works that are new and have come out in the last year or two. I find the discussions well run and we meet over drinks at a bar. I just find it is a better fit for me and they meet at night which is easier when you work.

Also wanted to add that in both cases, it is very helpful to have discussion questions beforehand that we go through and that keeps the conversation going. The first club had way too many opinionated people that had too much time on their hands and were very set in their ways, and I felt discussions could get derailed.

The second one is more enjoyable also because people were respectful of each other and made sure to listen to each other's opinions.

[Anonymous]

To start any club, it works well to have, for example 3 people who know/like each other and they each invite a certain number in - their decision (unless there is any rare objection)

What does not work as well is a group started by 1 person who just invites in all their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one with a group of friends, but half the time we got derailed with other conversations or people wouldn’t read the book.

I love discussing books but am very much a mood reader. Hard to commit to a book club where books are pre-chosen.

Same! Having assigned reading makes me feel like I'm back in school.

You're not being graded. It's not assigned. It's voluntary.

It's voluntary to join and participate in a book club, but most of them do pick a book to read so it does feel like it's assigned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once enjoyed being in a "reverse book club." Instead of all reading the same book and discussing it, when we met each person spoke for 2-3 minutes about a book they recently read, and whether or not the recommended it. This was a great way to get exposure to both books you might like and ones you would never read yourself. It also minimized opportunity for disagreement, because not everyone had read or formed opinions about the books being discussed.

That does sound interesting. I'm finding new books by reading this forum and listening to podcasts that interview writers, but getting other readers' recommendations would be helpful, especially people you come to know. Often the magazine recommendations, etc. feel like a mass PR campaign where certain books are (over)hyped.

[Anonymous]

The first book group I was in was with a group of friends/friends of friends who were all decent readers. We'd move around house to house, the person hosting would also present 'her' book for the evening. It was a potluck dinner situation which was distracting with all the fussing around food. Not everyone would have read the book, so it mostly just turned into a dinner party with people who had mostly read the same book and were kind of discussing it.

The group I'm in now is more serious and has a facilitator we pay a nominal amount to. We choose the books in 3 or 4 month increments, mostly Booker winners or such. Sometimes we'll toss in a memoir to mix it up. It's in the evening, no food beyond tea/coffee and a small snack or dessert. It's in a member's house who is centrally located to the rest of us. I love this group! The discussions are largely kept to the book, the author, but on occasion we'll veer off if someone has personal anecdotes that relate to the work. It's so interesting, I read things I otherwise would not and it takes me out of the rest of me life.

[Anonymous]

*my^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The first book group I was in was with a group of friends/friends of friends who were all decent readers. We'd move around house to house, the person hosting would also present 'her' book for the evening. It was a potluck dinner situation which was distracting with all the fussing around food. Not everyone would have read the book, so it mostly just turned into a dinner party with people who had mostly read the same book and were kind of discussing it.

The group I'm in now is more serious and has a facilitator we pay a nominal amount to. We choose the books in 3 or 4 month increments, mostly Booker winners or such. Sometimes we'll toss in a memoir to mix it up. It's in the evening, no food beyond tea/coffee and a small snack or dessert. It's in a member's house who is centrally located to the rest of us. I love this group! The discussions are largely kept to the book, the author, but on occasion we'll veer off if someone has personal anecdotes that relate to the work. It's so interesting, I read things I otherwise would not and it takes me out of the rest of me life.

That second group, the one you're in now, sounds perfect. No alcohol, no distracting food and people have come actively wanting to read the book itself. Hang onto that one!

[Anonymous]

I have been in the same book club for 20 years. We meet monthly, but take June, July and Aug off due to vacations. Diverse group of women, some retired some with school age children, some married, and some divorced. In Sept, we will pick our books for the year (mostly fiction, and often we throw in 1 NF and 1 classic). We meet on a Friday and go to each others home for apps and drinks. We have a leader who brings the book discussion questions and keeps the discussion on topic. My favorite part of the book club is that it makes me read books I probably wouldn’t choose on my own.