Any advice for a 18mo that won't sleep through the night?

[Anonymous]

Get a Time Machine and go back and sleep train the poor kid by 6 months. Why do parents wait until it’s so much harder to fix???!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Caveat that I think sleep training older children or difficult, sensitive children is cruel (If your kid cried for 15 minutes for two nights then slept beautifully I’m not talking about you).

I completely agree with others that sleep problems at this age on two naps, especially in the second half of the night when sleep pressure is low, means move to one nap ASAP.

I strongly recommend against rigid routine and things like blackout curtains and white noise because they make parents’ lives harder and create bad sleepers who can’t easily sleep in hotels, nap on the go for long trips etc.

Is your child verbal enough to communicate why they can’t fall back asleep? Could it be hunger?

Some kids are just terrible sleepers. I have one. She didn’t sleep through the night until 20 months and that was only twice; she’s almost 2 and still wakes 1-3 times. We’ve tried everything. It’s torture. I’m sorry.

I don’t think you should be giving advice.

I can see why you’d say that, but the way I see it, I have had to try way, way, WAY harder than the average parent to figure out infant sleep. I have read more studies, more books than most. I have tried more approaches and techniques. I just have a lot more experience. Abcs I was able to get a child to go from waking 20+ times a night (no medical cause) to 0-3.

The flippant parents who had easy babies who easily sleep trained in 1 night or who never woke more than a few times a night are the ones who shouldn’t comment. They know absolutely nothing and think they made their child a great sleeper when in fact they just had easy babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Caveat that I think sleep training older children or difficult, sensitive children is cruel (If your kid cried for 15 minutes for two nights then slept beautifully I’m not talking about you).

I completely agree with others that sleep problems at this age on two naps, especially in the second half of the night when sleep pressure is low, means move to one nap ASAP.

I strongly recommend against rigid routine and things like blackout curtains and white noise because they make parents’ lives harder and create bad sleepers who can’t easily sleep in hotels, nap on the go for long trips etc.

Is your child verbal enough to communicate why they can’t fall back asleep? Could it be hunger?

Some kids are just terrible sleepers. I have one. She didn’t sleep through the night until 20 months and that was only twice; she’s almost 2 and still wakes 1-3 times. We’ve tried everything. It’s torture. I’m sorry.

I don’t think you should be giving advice.

I can see why you’d say that, but the way I see it, I have had to try way, way, WAY harder than the average parent to figure out infant sleep. I have read more studies, more books than most. I have tried more approaches and techniques. I just have a lot more experience. Abcs I was able to get a child to go from waking 20+ times a night (no medical cause) to 0-3.

The flippant parents who had easy babies who easily sleep trained in 1 night or who never woke more than a few times a night are the ones who shouldn’t comment. They know absolutely nothing and think they made their child a great sleeper when in fact they just had easy babies.

I have 2 kids- one who was very easy to sleep train and the other much more difficult.

I don't think there is a single magic fix to a bad sleeper but I think the fact that you place importance on how kids sleep in hotels and on long trips is an indication that your priorities are misguided. Routines, blackout curtains and white noise machine cannot turn a bad sleeper into a good one. But to dismiss those things BECAUSE you think they make the kids unable to sleep in hotels and in cars is ridiculous.

What do you think people care more about? 1) sleep well in your house every night and if there is a trip that must be made, then deal with the sleeping issues that may or may nor arise or 2) cannot sleep well in the house but sleep well in hotels and cars. Unless a family is travelling every night or sleeping in hotels all the time, why would that even be an issue to worry about?

A good sleeper may not sleep well everywhere but that could be due to the new environment and not because of the white noise machine and blackout curtains. A bad sleeper is likely to be a bad sleeper everywhere so I don't know why anyone would even care about how they sleep in hotels/cars. They can't even sleep well at home, why would it be different elsewhere? They're bad sleepers because that's how they are, not because the routines/curtains/white noise machines suddenly turn them into bad sleepers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Caveat that I think sleep training older children or difficult, sensitive children is cruel (If your kid cried for 15 minutes for two nights then slept beautifully I’m not talking about you).

I completely agree with others that sleep problems at this age on two naps, especially in the second half of the night when sleep pressure is low, means move to one nap ASAP.

I strongly recommend against rigid routine and things like blackout curtains and white noise because they make parents’ lives harder and create bad sleepers who can’t easily sleep in hotels, nap on the go for long trips etc.

Is your child verbal enough to communicate why they can’t fall back asleep? Could it be hunger?

Some kids are just terrible sleepers. I have one. She didn’t sleep through the night until 20 months and that was only twice; she’s almost 2 and still wakes 1-3 times. We’ve tried everything. It’s torture. I’m sorry.

I don’t think you should be giving advice.

I can see why you’d say that, but the way I see it, I have had to try way, way, WAY harder than the average parent to figure out infant sleep. I have read more studies, more books than most. I have tried more approaches and techniques. I just have a lot more experience. Abcs I was able to get a child to go from waking 20+ times a night (no medical cause) to 0-3.

The flippant parents who had easy babies who easily sleep trained in 1 night or who never woke more than a few times a night are the ones who shouldn’t comment. They know absolutely nothing and think they made their child a great sleeper when in fact they just had easy babies.

I have 2 kids- one who was very easy to sleep train and the other much more difficult.

I don't think there is a single magic fix to a bad sleeper but I think the fact that you place importance on how kids sleep in hotels and on long trips is an indication that your priorities are misguided. Routines, blackout curtains and white noise machine cannot turn a bad sleeper into a good one. But to dismiss those things BECAUSE you think they make the kids unable to sleep in hotels and in cars is ridiculous.

What do you think people care more about? 1) sleep well in your house every night and if there is a trip that must be made, then deal with the sleeping issues that may or may nor arise or 2) cannot sleep well in the house but sleep well in hotels and cars. Unless a family is travelling every night or sleeping in hotels all the time, why would that even be an issue to worry about?

A good sleeper may not sleep well everywhere but that could be due to the new environment and not because of the white noise machine and blackout curtains. A bad sleeper is likely to be a bad sleeper everywhere so I don't know why anyone would even care about how they sleep in hotels/cars. They can't even sleep well at home, why would it be different elsewhere? They're bad sleepers because that's how they are, not because the routines/curtains/white noise machines suddenly turn them into bad sleepers.

Gee, if only I’d thought of trying blackout curtains and white noise! I’m sure then mine would have slept through the night.

I guess I needed to be more explicit for this pp even though I actually agree with her: white noise and blackout curtains are bad advice because they don’t really fix bad sleepers AND they have the undesirable side effect of creating unnecessary, inconvenient dependencies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have an 18mo son who has been a lousy sleeper for a while. We moved when he was 12mo and we have generally traveled and bounced around a lot and it has been tough on his sleep. We just got back from a trip overseas where he ended up sleeping in our bed with us from 2am-7am every night. We've been back for 2 weeks now and we are still struggling. We understood for a week with the time adjustment but now we are at a loss. He wakes up every night around 2-3 am and then doesn't really sleep the rest of the night. Wondering if anyone has any advice. I tried the "cry it out" last night but he ended up just crying forever so we had to go get him.

Note- we still do 2 naps a day but are transitioning to 1 nap/day. Any advice would be very much appreciated.

I don’t think it’s fair to call him a lousy sleeper if you admittedly have been dragging him traveling and bouncing around a lot everywhere. Of course it will be tough on his sleep. He’s a little kid. Maybe he is a good sleeper or he could be a good one but he never had the chance to get the hang of it. And your expectations of this young child is that he should bounce back within 1-2 weeks, for what? Why should he bounce back when you’re likely going to bounce around again causing him to have to constantly adapt to new places/time zones? If I were him I would constantly wonder where I am bouncing to next week rather than how to bounce back from what has already happened.

No wonder sleep training isn’t working. Part of sleep training is preparing the environment and following some kind of age appropriate schedule. None of that can be done easily when he doesn’t have the stability he probably needs.

I suggest being lenient on him and recognizing that it is NOT his fault that he is being bounced around for whatever reasons. I am not going to get into the reasons why a child is moved around that much because it’s your personal business but if this how your kid has to live, then you have to at least be reasonable about what you expect from him. It is mind boggling that you are at a loss for why he can’t sleep well when you mention that he’s been bounce around a lot. You don’t think that plays a part at all? If this is just how it has to be then this is just something need to deal with. Accept that this is part of him being bounced around.

[Anonymous]

Our kid is an awesome sleeper, and his worst regression was around 18 months. It’s just a tough age.

That said, I agree with others that you should definitely be on one nap per day, check on sleep hygiene (white noise, curtains, consistent bedtime routine), and then choose a sleep training method and stick to it. Consistency is so important. We used kind of a gentle Ferber at that age, and after about a month of multiple night wakings, he went back to sleeping 7-7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Caveat that I think sleep training older children or difficult, sensitive children is cruel (If your kid cried for 15 minutes for two nights then slept beautifully I’m not talking about you).

I completely agree with others that sleep problems at this age on two naps, especially in the second half of the night when sleep pressure is low, means move to one nap ASAP.

I strongly recommend against rigid routine and things like blackout curtains and white noise because they make parents’ lives harder and create bad sleepers who can’t easily sleep in hotels, nap on the go for long trips etc.

Is your child verbal enough to communicate why they can’t fall back asleep? Could it be hunger?

Some kids are just terrible sleepers. I have one. She didn’t sleep through the night until 20 months and that was only twice; she’s almost 2 and still wakes 1-3 times. We’ve tried everything. It’s torture. I’m sorry.

I don’t think you should be giving advice.

I can see why you’d say that, but the way I see it, I have had to try way, way, WAY harder than the average parent to figure out infant sleep. I have read more studies, more books than most. I have tried more approaches and techniques. I just have a lot more experience. Abcs I was able to get a child to go from waking 20+ times a night (no medical cause) to 0-3.

The flippant parents who had easy babies who easily sleep trained in 1 night or who never woke more than a few times a night are the ones who shouldn’t comment. They know absolutely nothing and think they made their child a great sleeper when in fact they just had easy babies.

Trying hard and spending energy thinking about kid sleep doesn’t result in your kid sleeping.

Your child isn’t sleeping because you’ve made such a huge deal out of all of this. All you need to do is have blackout curtains, a sound machine and put your kid down at the same time every night in his or her crib. That is seriously all you do. Don’t go back into the room unless there’s a fire. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kid is an awesome sleeper, and his worst regression was around 18 months. It’s just a tough age.

That said, I agree with others that you should definitely be on one nap per day, check on sleep hygiene (white noise, curtains, consistent bedtime routine), and then choose a sleep training method and stick to it. Consistency is so important. We used kind of a gentle Ferber at that age, and after about a month of multiple night wakings, he went back to sleeping 7-7.

Oh, and one thing to add for those saying that white noise, curtains etc are unnecessary crutches that make it impossible for the kid to sleep elsewhere - better for the kid to sleep well some of the time (at home) than none of the time. it’s also not hard to being a portable noise machine when you travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have an 18mo son who has been a lousy sleeper for a while. We moved when he was 12mo and we have generally traveled and bounced around a lot and it has been tough on his sleep. We just got back from a trip overseas where he ended up sleeping in our bed with us from 2am-7am every night. We've been back for 2 weeks now and we are still struggling. We understood for a week with the time adjustment but now we are at a loss. He wakes up every night around 2-3 am and then doesn't really sleep the rest of the night. Wondering if anyone has any advice. I tried the "cry it out" last night but he ended up just crying forever so we had to go get him.

Note- we still do 2 naps a day but are transitioning to 1 nap/day. Any advice would be very much appreciated.

I don’t think it’s fair to call him a lousy sleeper if you admittedly have been dragging him traveling and bouncing around a lot everywhere. Of course it will be tough on his sleep. He’s a little kid. Maybe he is a good sleeper or he could be a good one but he never had the chance to get the hang of it. And your expectations of this young child is that he should bounce back within 1-2 weeks, for what? Why should he bounce back when you’re likely going to bounce around again causing him to have to constantly adapt to new places/time zones? If I were him I would constantly wonder where I am bouncing to next week rather than how to bounce back from what has already happened.

No wonder sleep training isn’t working. Part of sleep training is preparing the environment and following some kind of age appropriate schedule. None of that can be done easily when he doesn’t have the stability he probably needs.

I suggest being lenient on him and recognizing that it is NOT his fault that he is being bounced around for whatever reasons. I am not going to get into the reasons why a child is moved around that much because it’s your personal business but if this how your kid has to live, then you have to at least be reasonable about what you expect from him. It is mind boggling that you are at a loss for why he can’t sleep well when you mention that he’s been bounce around a lot. You don’t think that plays a part at all? If this is just how it has to be then this is just something need to deal with. Accept that this is part of him being bounced around.

Every mom I know with a kid or kids who don’t sleep hasn’t provided a stable environment for sleep. One mom I know has her kid out at 7 PM at loud restaurants with a tablet and does not have set nap times for her kids. I’ll be at lunch with her and her child will be rubbing his eyes and flailing about, but she doesn’t get it. Then she complains about the kid not sleeping at night. It’s because he’s exhausted.

It’s pretty obvious that the overseas trip wasn’t good for this child and was too much. You need to take a step back, establish a very strict schedule and give your child the structure he desperately needs. Traveling all over the world and sleeping in different beds isn’t going to do it for him. Some kids can handle this, but yours can’t. He needs the same bed time every night, same bed, nighttime routine and for you to stay out of his room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Caveat that I think sleep training older children or difficult, sensitive children is cruel (If your kid cried for 15 minutes for two nights then slept beautifully I’m not talking about you).

I completely agree with others that sleep problems at this age on two naps, especially in the second half of the night when sleep pressure is low, means move to one nap ASAP.

I strongly recommend against rigid routine and things like blackout curtains and white noise because they make parents’ lives harder and create bad sleepers who can’t easily sleep in hotels, nap on the go for long trips etc.

Is your child verbal enough to communicate why they can’t fall back asleep? Could it be hunger?

Some kids are just terrible sleepers. I have one. She didn’t sleep through the night until 20 months and that was only twice; she’s almost 2 and still wakes 1-3 times. We’ve tried everything. It’s torture. I’m sorry.

I don’t think you should be giving advice.

I can see why you’d say that, but the way I see it, I have had to try way, way, WAY harder than the average parent to figure out infant sleep. I have read more studies, more books than most. I have tried more approaches and techniques. I just have a lot more experience. Abcs I was able to get a child to go from waking 20+ times a night (no medical cause) to 0-3.

The flippant parents who had easy babies who easily sleep trained in 1 night or who never woke more than a few times a night are the ones who shouldn’t comment. They know absolutely nothing and think they made their child a great sleeper when in fact they just had easy babies.

Trying hard and spending energy thinking about kid sleep doesn’t result in your kid sleeping.

Your child isn’t sleeping because you’ve made such a huge deal out of all of this. All you need to do is have blackout curtains, a sound machine and put your kid down at the same time every night in his or her crib. That is seriously all you do. Don’t go back into the room unless there’s a fire. That’s it.

LOL do you actually, seriously think we did not try that? Like, consistently for months? Do you think it’s easy to get a referral to a sleep clinic? Do You think they’ll give you one if you haven’t tried these absolute basics you are suggesting? You are exactly the kind of arrogant poster I was describing who just have no idea what it’s like to have a bad sleeper.