Any advice for a 18mo that won't sleep through the night?

[Anonymous]

Appreciate everyone’s advice and literary suggestions.

[Anonymous]

One nap is surely good advice, but also “he cried forever” is a big red flag. You need to know how long he cried and what your plan was and whether or not you stuck to it. Not just a vague idea of “cry it out” that you abandoned after “forever.” Sleep training can be really hard and stressful at a lizard brain level (for the parents I mean) so if you’re going to do it you need to have your ducks in a row.

[Anonymous]

Caveat that I think sleep training older children or difficult, sensitive children is cruel (If your kid cried for 15 minutes for two nights then slept beautifully I’m not talking about you).

I completely agree with others that sleep problems at this age on two naps, especially in the second half of the night when sleep pressure is low, means move to one nap ASAP.

I strongly recommend against rigid routine and things like blackout curtains and white noise because they make parents’ lives harder and create bad sleepers who can’t easily sleep in hotels, nap on the go for long trips etc.

Is your child verbal enough to communicate why they can’t fall back asleep? Could it be hunger?

Some kids are just terrible sleepers. I have one. She didn’t sleep through the night until 20 months and that was only twice; she’s almost 2 and still wakes 1-3 times. We’ve tried everything. It’s torture. I’m sorry.

[Anonymous]

There are various approaches but the key is to be consistent. It may take a long time - weeks, maybe months. But the alternative is worse. We went 13 years without a good's night sleep. (Youngest is 5 years younger than oldest and didn't consistently sleep through the night in his own room until he was 8.)

[Anonymous]

No naps after 2pm. Lots of physical movements/playing 2 hours before bed. Bath and goodnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't tolerate letting babies cry so never formally trained them, just followed their natural cues, provided soothing environment, read stories and sang lullabies. I'm a patient and nurturing person so it worked but I don't see it working for every parent.

You're certainly not as nice as you think you are. Ew.

[Anonymous]

We had a similar vacation and aftermath at that age. One night of a lot of crying (over an hour) and then back to perfect sleep all nights after. Sleep train CIO works.

[Anonymous]

If he comes in your bed, does he go back to sleep? I know many people here hate co-sleeping, but it works for a lot of people worldwide. Mine probably woke up some at that age, but I didn’t really notice; they were in my bed & just went back to sleep.

I also agree with others about dropping to one nap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have an 18mo son who has been a lousy sleeper for a while. We moved when he was 12mo and we have generally traveled and bounced around a lot and it has been tough on his sleep. We just got back from a trip overseas where he ended up sleeping in our bed with us from 2am-7am every night. We've been back for 2 weeks now and we are still struggling. We understood for a week with the time adjustment but now we are at a loss. He wakes up every night around 2-3 am and then doesn't really sleep the rest of the night. Wondering if anyone has any advice. I tried the "cry it out" last night but he ended up just crying forever so we had to go get him.

Note- we still do 2 naps a day but are transitioning to 1 nap/day. Any advice would be very much appreciated.

Does he go back to sleep if he is in your bed? Does he go back to sleep if you lie down with him in his bed?

What time does he go to bed?

Definitely go to one nap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't tolerate letting babies cry so never formally trained them, just followed their natural cues, provided soothing environment, read stories and sang lullabies. I'm a patient and nurturing person so it worked but I don't see it working for every parent.

You're certainly not as nice as you think you are. Ew.

+100. Not nice at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Caveat that I think sleep training older children or difficult, sensitive children is cruel (If your kid cried for 15 minutes for two nights then slept beautifully I’m not talking about you).

I completely agree with others that sleep problems at this age on two naps, especially in the second half of the night when sleep pressure is low, means move to one nap ASAP.

I strongly recommend against rigid routine and things like blackout curtains and white noise because they make parents’ lives harder and create bad sleepers who can’t easily sleep in hotels, nap on the go for long trips etc.

Is your child verbal enough to communicate why they can’t fall back asleep? Could it be hunger?

Some kids are just terrible sleepers. I have one. She didn’t sleep through the night until 20 months and that was only twice; she’s almost 2 and still wakes 1-3 times. We’ve tried everything. It’s torture. I’m sorry.

I don’t think you should be giving advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't tolerate letting babies cry so never formally trained them, just followed their natural cues, provided soothing environment, read stories and sang lullabies. I'm a patient and nurturing person so it worked but I don't see it working for every parent.

You're certainly not as nice as you think you are. Ew.

+100. Not nice at all.

Np. There is nothing that the pp said that was mean. Stop beating up on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't tolerate letting babies cry so never formally trained them, just followed their natural cues, provided soothing environment, read stories and sang lullabies. I'm a patient and nurturing person so it worked but I don't see it working for every parent.

You're certainly not as nice as you think you are. Ew.

+100. Not nice at all.

Np. There is nothing that the pp said that was mean. Stop beating up on her.

She said she is patient and nurturing and others are not. She thinks very highly of herself. "So it worked but I can't see it working for every parent" - GMAFB.

Also kids are different and if you had an easy kid, it's easy to just think you were such a great, patient, nurturing parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1)Two sets of blackout curtains (even put a towel under the door) - no light.
2) And a loud white noice machine.
3) Same bedtime EVERY night.
4) Same wake up time every night
5) A real morning activity AND a real afternoon activity (pref outside of the home)
6) Only go to the room twice (after that no more - let him/her/they cry)
7)Repeat the above every day.

Mom of an 8 year old girl who was you a few years ago —- do all this and buy every book and ask every message board for answers. that will ensure absolutely NOTHING. Some kids do not sleep through the night. Mine didn’t til she was four and yea it sucked but now she is fine. (Although my older one slept like a rock from the start. Same parents same strategies same room.) Don’t stress or bang your head against the wall - it will all wash out eventually.

[Anonymous]

Get a twin low to the ground and lie next to him until he falls asleep. Go back if he wakes up and lay. Or if everyone gets more sleep with him in your bed, then do that. Do what feels right and gets everyone sleeping. We never did cry it out and our kids now sleep through the night, without us, no problem.