Grandparents taking too many pictures during visits

[Anonymous]

I have a relative who does this and it really is over the top. The kids all find her creepy because they are old enough to notice she doesn't actually play, but needs to document everything. We had to gently set boundaries with her in 2 important ways.

1.) She needs to ask the children permission to take any photos or videos and ask us permission to post online or we will no longer allow any documenting. I learned this was a presentation by a psychologist. You don't want your kids to think it is normal and fine for adults or peers to take endless photos and videos of them and they need to learn they have agency and the right to say "No."

2.) Even if the kids consent, give them a photo time and then if your child truly enjoys being with the grandparents, let them know how much she adores them and you want them to create memories together. Give them ideas for activities they can do together and choices if they are at a loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least they arent constantly taking selfies for social media like my in laws. As if the whole purpose of visiting grandkids is to get a new facebook picture showing what a proud grandpa you are.

This is a stiff competition in my IL’s retirement community LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The past few times my parents have visited us and our three year old DD, I've noticed that they are on their phones alot taking pictures/videos. Now, I totally understand that they are grandparents, and taking lots of pictures is what they do, which is all well and good, but I feel like it's getting to the point where they're just sitting on the couch and taking pictures/videos of her, instead of interacting. Like they'll just be sitting on the couch, not even trying to interact with her, but just filming/shooting, almost like they're shooting a movie or documentary.

After our visits, they'll always put together a shared album, and it will literally have 300+ pictures and videos from just a weekend visit, including multiple videos that are 5+ minutes long. I find myself wishing they'd spend those 5+ minutes actually playing with DD instead of shooting these videos. Again, while I totally understand (and appreciate!) that they want to take lots of pictures/videos, I just wish they could find a better balance between taking these pictures, and actually spending time with DD. I worry that years from now, they'll just have all these pictures and videos, but won't have developed the relationship with DD that they want.

They are grandparents. Their job was raising you. Let them do whatever they want.

You sound like an extreme micromanager/controlling.

+1 and I’m not a MIL. They ate old and tired. They don’t want to play ( i.e. babysit) your kids. They want to take pictures. Let them.

[Anonymous]

The parents of our grandkids think we take too many pictures. Ironically, the grandkids react to having a phone pointed at them by looking cute. Even the infant. It sure wasn't us who taught them that.

[Anonymous]

That's just how it was back in the day. My mom has tons of videos of us from the early 90s. They are all very long, hours sometimes. Must have been expensive! But she is talking to us in the videos, or sitting next to us as we are playing in a kiddy pool, etc.