Grandparents taking too many pictures during visits

[Anonymous]

The past few times my parents have visited us and our three year old DD, I've noticed that they are on their phones alot taking pictures/videos. Now, I totally understand that they are grandparents, and taking lots of pictures is what they do, which is all well and good, but I feel like it's getting to the point where they're just sitting on the couch and taking pictures/videos of her, instead of interacting. Like they'll just be sitting on the couch, not even trying to interact with her, but just filming/shooting, almost like they're shooting a movie or documentary.

After our visits, they'll always put together a shared album, and it will literally have 300+ pictures and videos from just a weekend visit, including multiple videos that are 5+ minutes long. I find myself wishing they'd spend those 5+ minutes actually playing with DD instead of shooting these videos. Again, while I totally understand (and appreciate!) that they want to take lots of pictures/videos, I just wish they could find a better balance between taking these pictures, and actually spending time with DD. I worry that years from now, they'll just have all these pictures and videos, but won't have developed the relationship with DD that they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The past few times my parents have visited us and our three year old DD, I've noticed that they are on their phones alot taking pictures/videos. Now, I totally understand that they are grandparents, and taking lots of pictures is what they do, which is all well and good, but I feel like it's getting to the point where they're just sitting on the couch and taking pictures/videos of her, instead of interacting. Like they'll just be sitting on the couch, not even trying to interact with her, but just filming/shooting, almost like they're shooting a movie or documentary.

After our visits, they'll always put together a shared album, and it will literally have 300+ pictures and videos from just a weekend visit, including multiple videos that are 5+ minutes long. I find myself wishing they'd spend those 5+ minutes actually playing with DD instead of shooting these videos. Again, while I totally understand (and appreciate!) that they want to take lots of pictures/videos, I just wish they could find a better balance between taking these pictures, and actually spending time with DD. I worry that years from now, they'll just have all these pictures and videos, but won't have developed the relationship with DD that they want.

They are grandparents. Their job was raising you. Let them do whatever they want.

You sound like an extreme micromanager/controlling.

[Anonymous]

Well, if they don’t develop the relationship they want because of their choices, that’s on them.

“Hey, don’t forget to put down the cameras and actually make the memories!” A few little lighthearted comments would be fine.

[Anonymous]

Tell them. "Guys, you're not here to shoot a documentary - put down your phones and actually play with Ella!"

[Anonymous]

Hey mom I'll take some of you and DD playing. Then just take a few.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The past few times my parents have visited us and our three year old DD, I've noticed that they are on their phones alot taking pictures/videos. Now, I totally understand that they are grandparents, and taking lots of pictures is what they do, which is all well and good, but I feel like it's getting to the point where they're just sitting on the couch and taking pictures/videos of her, instead of interacting. Like they'll just be sitting on the couch, not even trying to interact with her, but just filming/shooting, almost like they're shooting a movie or documentary.

After our visits, they'll always put together a shared album, and it will literally have 300+ pictures and videos from just a weekend visit, including multiple videos that are 5+ minutes long. I find myself wishing they'd spend those 5+ minutes actually playing with DD instead of shooting these videos. Again, while I totally understand (and appreciate!) that they want to take lots of pictures/videos, I just wish they could find a better balance between taking these pictures, and actually spending time with DD. I worry that years from now, they'll just have all these pictures and videos, but won't have developed the relationship with DD that they want.

They are grandparents. Their job was raising you. Let them do whatever they want.

You sound like an extreme micromanager/controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey mom I'll take some of you and DD playing. Then just take a few.

This. And then otherwise leave them alone and stop micromanaging.

[Anonymous]

She's 3. She will form exactly no memories of any of this. So, what's the harm?

[Anonymous]

Maybe they don't know how to interact with her and could use you to model/initiate.

I bought a lot of age appropriate puzzles when my kids were little and they would do those with their great-grandfather. My mom was a teacher and always into dramatic play so she would use our puppets to make up fantastic stories for our kids, but not every adult has that skill set and could use some help/structure.

[Anonymous]

Let them be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they don't know how to interact with her and could use you to model/initiate.

I bought a lot of age appropriate puzzles when my kids were little and they would do those with their great-grandfather. My mom was a teacher and always into dramatic play so she would use our puppets to make up fantastic stories for our kids, but not every adult has that skill set and could use some help/structure.

Hooray! This. Grandparents need some help.

[Anonymous]

Eh, at least they are taking pictures of her. I see plenty of parents ignoring their kids completely to look at who knows what on their phones. Or filming every waking moment so they can get likes on TikTok or Instagram.

And if they don't live close, they just want to be able to take something back home to look at over and over.

[Anonymous]

Should have uglier kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The past few times my parents have visited us and our three year old DD, I've noticed that they are on their phones alot taking pictures/videos. Now, I totally understand that they are grandparents, and taking lots of pictures is what they do, which is all well and good, but I feel like it's getting to the point where they're just sitting on the couch and taking pictures/videos of her, instead of interacting. Like they'll just be sitting on the couch, not even trying to interact with her, but just filming/shooting, almost like they're shooting a movie or documentary.

After our visits, they'll always put together a shared album, and it will literally have 300+ pictures and videos from just a weekend visit, including multiple videos that are 5+ minutes long. I find myself wishing they'd spend those 5+ minutes actually playing with DD instead of shooting these videos. Again, while I totally understand (and appreciate!) that they want to take lots of pictures/videos, I just wish they could find a better balance between taking these pictures, and actually spending time with DD. I worry that years from now, they'll just have all these pictures and videos, but won't have developed the relationship with DD that they want.

They are grandparents. Their job was raising you. Let them do whatever they want.

You sound like an extreme micromanager/controlling.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

You can’t define their relationship. Just let it go and enjoy the photos!