Will they talk about Covid shut down like the Great Depression

[Anonymous]

We had a hard pandemic. We worked FT in person. Some of our people - family, friends, colleagues - died.

It affected some people very badly and will influence public health policy, employment policy and trends, education policy, etc.

But from an historical perspective, it was a blip. The Great Depression lasted for years and years. Parenting in the Great Depression? On one side of my family the children (and adults, really) were malnourished for years. Could you feed your children during 2020?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic taught us that no one cares about parents. Even in this thread some people are attributing the challenges to ppd. No, it was extremely difficult for all working parents with young kids who suddenly lost the even minimal supports we had, like any childcare whatsoever, and playgrounds. Then bars opened before schools. I am still recovering. Maybe I'll never be the same. But given that nobody cared even during the pandemic, no, I do not think this will be given a second thought in history books.

This. I'm still in shock a bit about the things that were prioritized over the needs of children. And then many have the gall to act shocked when some of the kids were really affected by Covid. Bars opening before schools is a great example.

DP, I’ve thought about all the kids/teens who were old enough that they will remember the effects of the pandemic. I wrote a diary and took a lot photos during the pandemic to give my kids someday to remember what life was like during COVID. It was a major historical event and I think when you add it to the backdrop of the BLM protests, Trump/Biden election, and vaccine debates, it is going to be a major event taught in history classes. I’m sure the effects on working parents (particularly moms) will be discussed as a small element of it, the way we all learned about women joining the war effort in the factories at home while the men were at war. But I don’t think it will primarily be remembered through the lens of mothers. I do hope the young people remember what it was like though so we don’t make the same mistake again in the future of shutting down schools so long while opening literally everything else.

I think a lot of us Millennials who had young kids now cannot fathom old people being prioritized and then kids just forgotten about. If I were a grandparent for the next pandemic there is zero chance in hell I’d want my kids/grandkids to go through what we just went through. My Facebook feed was full of Boomers off living their best lives the second they were vaxxed (well and I’m from FL so I saw plenty that weren’t vaxxed or masked even) while my kids did school on an iPad. It was so warped.

+1 Agree with this sentiment completely. I think this post describes very well my feelings toward the situation. I feel like Boomers had no sympathy for all the gen x/millennial parents and their young children who were sacrificing greatly to protect THEM. They had us all supervising virtual learning, working, AND acting like their vaccine appointment and food delivery concierges.

I also think very little has been said about the fact that employers in aggregate did NOT calibrate workloads or offer much slack to employees. People were supposed to be proving they were working as hard as always and essentially had to pretend their children didn’t exist, which was obviously ridiculous. Our society has messed up priorities.

[Anonymous]

I think so. I meant to keep better diaries at the time but I didn’t.

[Anonymous]

The whole thing already feels like a fever dream, so no, I don’t think it compares at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic taught us that no one cares about parents. Even in this thread some people are attributing the challenges to ppd. No, it was extremely difficult for all working parents with young kids who suddenly lost the even minimal supports we had, like any childcare whatsoever, and playgrounds. Then bars opened before schools. I am still recovering. Maybe I'll never be the same. But given that nobody cared even during the pandemic, no, I do not think this will be given a second thought in history books.

This. I'm still in shock a bit about the things that were prioritized over the needs of children. And then many have the gall to act shocked when some of the kids were really affected by Covid. Bars opening before schools is a great example.

DP, I’ve thought about all the kids/teens who were old enough that they will remember the effects of the pandemic. I wrote a diary and took a lot photos during the pandemic to give my kids someday to remember what life was like during COVID. It was a major historical event and I think when you add it to the backdrop of the BLM protests, Trump/Biden election, and vaccine debates, it is going to be a major event taught in history classes. I’m sure the effects on working parents (particularly moms) will be discussed as a small element of it, the way we all learned about women joining the war effort in the factories at home while the men were at war. But I don’t think it will primarily be remembered through the lens of mothers. I do hope the young people remember what it was like though so we don’t make the same mistake again in the future of shutting down schools so long while opening literally everything else.

I think a lot of us Millennials who had young kids now cannot fathom old people being prioritized and then kids just forgotten about. If I were a grandparent for the next pandemic there is zero chance in hell I’d want my kids/grandkids to go through what we just went through. My Facebook feed was full of Boomers off living their best lives the second they were vaxxed (well and I’m from FL so I saw plenty that weren’t vaxxed or masked even) while my kids did school on an iPad. It was so warped.

+1 Agree with this sentiment completely. I think this post describes very well my feelings toward the situation. I feel like Boomers had no sympathy for all the gen x/millennial parents and their young children who were sacrificing greatly to protect THEM. They had us all supervising virtual learning, working, AND acting like their vaccine appointment and food delivery concierges.

I also think very little has been said about the fact that employers in aggregate did NOT calibrate workloads or offer much slack to employees. People were supposed to be proving they were working as hard as always and essentially had to pretend their children didn’t exist, which was obviously ridiculous. Our society has messed up priorities.

I couldn’t agree with this more. So many kids are still so behind. We did such a disservice to THE FUTURE to save the elderly who don’t even appreciate the effort. They’ll be the first ones to complain about a child’s shortcomings. We did the best we could for you, Betsy. You’re welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People, you have to move on.
Many people struggled for various reasons and to various degrees, but unless you’ve lost a loved one, have serious health issues bc of Covid, or were financially ruined, you have to get over it and live your life.
I have wealthy and healthy friends who still go on and on about how devastating “lockdown” was. If that is the worst thing that has happened to you, you’ve lived a cushy life.

This sounds really harsh but honestly, this is what I need to tell myself all the time. I lost my job in COVID, my whole industry was decimated (hospitality) and we had small kids doing online learning at the time. But I didn't lose any loved ones, we ended up ok financially and now things finally feel back to normal(ish). I'm still not totally over all of the moments that we had to miss because of COVID but in the end, it is what it is. There are people who suffered so much more than I did so I need to focus on how lucky we were just to get out of COVID alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic taught us that no one cares about parents. Even in this thread some people are attributing the challenges to ppd. No, it was extremely difficult for all working parents with young kids who suddenly lost the even minimal supports we had, like any childcare whatsoever, and playgrounds. Then bars opened before schools. I am still recovering. Maybe I'll never be the same. But given that nobody cared even during the pandemic, no, I do not think this will be given a second thought in history books.

Agree with all of this. I often feel like I'm the only one who remembers any of this.

I also think that part of the problem is that it was a narrow slice of parents who experienced the worst of it, and others happily minimize the challenges. If you had children between age 0 and 5 when the pandemic began, and especially if you rely on childcare and are not wealthy, the first 6 months or so of the pandemic were basically an ongoing crisis for your family. Like obviously the pandemic itself was a global crisis and everyone was worried about people dying, what was happening in hospitals, their personal well being, etc. But for middle and working class families with young kids, literally every day was a crisis of just basic functioning.

It was only later that I realized this wasn't everyone's experience. Many people just shifted to WFH, or to virtual school for older kids, and obviously there were struggles and it was a weird time, but it wasn't just this ongoing crisis.

During that time, I had a schedule where I got up at 7 and provided primary childcare to two kids under 4 until 2pm, at which point I'd work for 4 hours while DH watched the kids or they watched TV, then we'd have dinner and do bedtime, then both of us would work for another 4-5 hours until we went to bed at 1 or 2 in the morning. Sometimes I wouldn't got to bed until 3 or 4, but I'd get up again at 7 because I had to. And we did this for about 6 months. My oldest basically didn't get potty trained until 4 because we were so overwhelmed and exhausted that we couldn't be consistent or tackle the challenges of that. They both got addicted to TV and even though we've undone that, I still think it had long term effect. I still deal with hyper vigilance and some other anxiety issues that date back to that time, and it killed intimacy in my marriage and we've just never gotten it back despite efforts to do so. I also no longer trust any structural supports for our family, whether it's daycare, schools, public resources like playgrounds, nothing.

But yeah, I think this experience will just be lost to history. No one cares. But those of us who know, get it.

[Anonymous]

I think the pandemic really has made me fundamentally not trust schools. I don't know how to let it go. I didn't move during the pandemic for an open school (because I was actually financially ruined), but I still feel the need to move to just find a different school district. Just to get a cleaner slate.

Trust isn't something that is easy to get back once it has been ruined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People, you have to move on.
Many people struggled for various reasons and to various degrees, but unless you’ve lost a loved one, have serious health issues bc of Covid, or were financially ruined, you have to get over it and live your life.
I have wealthy and healthy friends who still go on and on about how devastating “lockdown” was. If that is the worst thing that has happened to you, you’ve lived a cushy life.

(1) I had family members die during Covid. Both a family member who died of Covid and two others who died alone in hospitals with sub-standard care because of Covid.

(2) Some people are dealing with long-term mental health issues and family issues due to the pandemic. Like if you have anxiety, PTSD, OCD, severe health anxiety, etc., you cannot just "move on." If lockdowns, WFH, and the stress of parenting young kids during Covid killed your marriage, you can't just "move on." And if your kids are experiencing mental health, learning, or behavioral issues as an impact of having school disrupted for 2+ years with shutdowns, quarantines, and very restrictive Covid measures, you can't just "move on."

There are many kinds of trauma and the pandemic caused a storm of many different kinds at once. It's weird that you would give me grace to struggle with the loss of my loved ones (thank you, though I will say that I've found those losses easier to handle because there is a script for grief) but offer no grace to people struggling with any of the many other challenging or traumatic events they might have experienced due to the pandemic (for with there is no script or public support).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic taught us that no one cares about parents. Even in this thread some people are attributing the challenges to ppd. No, it was extremely difficult for all working parents with young kids who suddenly lost the even minimal supports we had, like any childcare whatsoever, and playgrounds. Then bars opened before schools. I am still recovering. Maybe I'll never be the same. But given that nobody cared even during the pandemic, no, I do not think this will be given a second thought in history books.

Agree with all of this. I often feel like I'm the only one who remembers any of this.

I also think that part of the problem is that it was a narrow slice of parents who experienced the worst of it, and others happily minimize the challenges. If you had children between age 0 and 5 when the pandemic began, and especially if you rely on childcare and are not wealthy, the first 6 months or so of the pandemic were basically an ongoing crisis for your family. Like obviously the pandemic itself was a global crisis and everyone was worried about people dying, what was happening in hospitals, their personal well being, etc. But for middle and working class families with young kids, literally every day was a crisis of just basic functioning.

It was only later that I realized this wasn't everyone's experience. Many people just shifted to WFH, or to virtual school for older kids, and obviously there were struggles and it was a weird time, but it wasn't just this ongoing crisis.

During that time, I had a schedule where I got up at 7 and provided primary childcare to two kids under 4 until 2pm, at which point I'd work for 4 hours while DH watched the kids or they watched TV, then we'd have dinner and do bedtime, then both of us would work for another 4-5 hours until we went to bed at 1 or 2 in the morning. Sometimes I wouldn't got to bed until 3 or 4, but I'd get up again at 7 because I had to. And we did this for about 6 months. My oldest basically didn't get potty trained until 4 because we were so overwhelmed and exhausted that we couldn't be consistent or tackle the challenges of that. They both got addicted to TV and even though we've undone that, I still think it had long term effect. I still deal with hyper vigilance and some other anxiety issues that date back to that time, and it killed intimacy in my marriage and we've just never gotten it back despite efforts to do so. I also no longer trust any structural supports for our family, whether it's daycare, schools, public resources like playgrounds, nothing.

But yeah, I think this experience will just be lost to history. No one cares. But those of us who know, get it.

Oh the parents of kids under 5 were totally just forgotten, and not just during shutdowns, but after everything else went back to normal. Because they were the last to get vaccinated (or even just be eligible regardless of whether you wanted to vaccinate them), the young kids were still quarantining for exposures long after the world had gone back to normal and at which point employers no longer had any goodwill toward people with young children. We were told it’s been long enough we should have figured it out, but meanwhile we were the only ones still being forced to live like it was 2020. And the politicians stopped caring once schools were open. Daycares and preschools could make up whatever rules they wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the pandemic really has made me fundamentally not trust schools. I don't know how to let it go. I didn't move during the pandemic for an open school (because I was actually financially ruined), but I still feel the need to move to just find a different school district. Just to get a cleaner slate.

Trust isn't something that is easy to get back once it has been ruined.

Same, I don't trust schools and I have lost the ability to believe that anyone associated with a school actually has a vested interest in my children.

It's really altered my perception of teachers. It's not that I don't appreciate what they do, I do. But I have limited capacity to believe that they, as a group, are invested in the well being of children. I think individual teachers may be invested in certain groups of kids. But I don't view the teaching profession as focused on the well-being of children. I think teacher's unions and educational organizations exist primarily for their own benefit, and if children benefit that's a nice side effect but not necessary for them to accomplish their goals.

I work in healthcare and think about how I and others took seriously our oaths to protect and care for our patients during the single biggest healthcare crisis of my lifetime. I simply do not see that same dedication or willingness to sacrifice on the part of teachers. They looked out for themselves and while I guess you can't fault them for that (most people did), coming from another helping profession where I don't think we put ourselves first at all, it was somewhat shocking to me to realize this.

[Anonymous]

I was a Covid nurse. It was hell. We homeschooled DS because DH worked full time from home and we couldn't make the schedule his school had for online school work with our schedule. My dad died during the height of Covid (although not from it) and I hadn't seen him in months because we felt my risk exposure was too great. A lot of regrets there.

I definitely have some PTSD related to it all. But I really try to focus on any positives I learned in order to move on. I realized what an amazing husband DH is and how supportive he is. I formed a great bond with coworkers. I learned how to be more assertive at work and trust my gut more. I felt like I had to push myself to move on. If I didnt, I would have easily slipped into depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic taught us that no one cares about parents. Even in this thread some people are attributing the challenges to ppd. No, it was extremely difficult for all working parents with young kids who suddenly lost the even minimal supports we had, like any childcare whatsoever, and playgrounds. Then bars opened before schools. I am still recovering. Maybe I'll never be the same. But given that nobody cared even during the pandemic, no, I do not think this will be given a second thought in history books.

Agree with all of this. I often feel like I'm the only one who remembers any of this.

I also think that part of the problem is that it was a narrow slice of parents who experienced the worst of it, and others happily minimize the challenges. If you had children between age 0 and 5 when the pandemic began, and especially if you rely on childcare and are not wealthy, the first 6 months or so of the pandemic were basically an ongoing crisis for your family. Like obviously the pandemic itself was a global crisis and everyone was worried about people dying, what was happening in hospitals, their personal well being, etc. But for middle and working class families with young kids, literally every day was a crisis of just basic functioning.

It was only later that I realized this wasn't everyone's experience. Many people just shifted to WFH, or to virtual school for older kids, and obviously there were struggles and it was a weird time, but it wasn't just this ongoing crisis.

During that time, I had a schedule where I got up at 7 and provided primary childcare to two kids under 4 until 2pm, at which point I'd work for 4 hours while DH watched the kids or they watched TV, then we'd have dinner and do bedtime, then both of us would work for another 4-5 hours until we went to bed at 1 or 2 in the morning. Sometimes I wouldn't got to bed until 3 or 4, but I'd get up again at 7 because I had to. And we did this for about 6 months. My oldest basically didn't get potty trained until 4 because we were so overwhelmed and exhausted that we couldn't be consistent or tackle the challenges of that. They both got addicted to TV and even though we've undone that, I still think it had long term effect. I still deal with hyper vigilance and some other anxiety issues that date back to that time, and it killed intimacy in my marriage and we've just never gotten it back despite efforts to do so. I also no longer trust any structural supports for our family, whether it's daycare, schools, public resources like playgrounds, nothing.

But yeah, I think this experience will just be lost to history. No one cares. But those of us who know, get it.

Oh the parents of kids under 5 were totally just forgotten, and not just during shutdowns, but after everything else went back to normal. Because they were the last to get vaccinated (or even just be eligible regardless of whether you wanted to vaccinate them), the young kids were still quarantining for exposures long after the world had gone back to normal and at which point employers no longer had any goodwill toward people with young children. We were told it’s been long enough we should have figured it out, but meanwhile we were the only ones still being forced to live like it was 2020. And the politicians stopped caring once schools were open. Daycares and preschools could make up whatever rules they wanted.

+1, raise your hand if people started telling you to "get over it" when your child was still regularly being forced to stay home for exposure quarantines, wear a mask to school and social distance daily, and had no access to vaccines or even age-appropriate Covid tests. We had to give weekly nasal swabs to a 3/4 year old for over a year.

I remember I used to go for walks in the evening after my DH (who worked in person through the entire pandemic) so that I could cry and decompress after working and taking care of little kids all day with minimal childcare. In Jan/Feb of 2021, these walks took me past restaurants and bars filled with people laughing and drinking and having a great time. My own children would not be back to "normal" in their lives for another year and a half.

It was a weird time, but it taught me a lot about what our society cares about and what they truly do not give a flying f**k about.

[Anonymous]

No way~

[Anonymous]

It was a horrible time if you had little kids and were working--at least in the US and especially in blue areas. Seriously, it was not nearly as bad in other areas that had moved on much earlier. After vaccines were widely available for adults, it would have been much better for my family's mental health to be in a place that DNGAF.