Will they talk about Covid shut down like the Great Depression

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, history books will cover covid, likely in the same way they cover the 1918 pandemic. School books will not talk about parenting challenges but there will be sociological studies on things like women in the workforce, widespread mental health, how pandemic babies do in school, etc.

I'm very sorry for what you went through. I hope you got help for your PPD and I hope things are better now. I think what you're describing is more about having small kids and no childcare or help: common I'm certain, but not a universal pandemic experience.

It was nothing like the 1918 pandemic which disproportionately killed young people. My great grandmother had to take in and raise her two orphaned nephews in 1918 when both their parents died within weeks of each other.
The actual disease Covid was a statistical blip. It was the governments insane overreaction that will go down in history combined with the social upheaval it pushed.

My U.S. history book had one page on the 1918 pandemic: some sepia toned photos of people in masks, a few lines about the spread and death toll, and a few lines about the geopolitical and economic consequences. I think covid will get the same. No grade school history books covered the kids orphaned by the flu and I predict none will cover those orphaned by covid (yes they exist) or the disruptions to home and school life. People just don't care to hear about the day to day difficulties, plus there was/is so much else going on politically that covid will be part of the background. Maybe if we get a Ken Burns documentary, he will read some parent letters (tweets?) in voiceover.

I remember having a school project to interview my grandparents about the Depression and WWII, and then more recently I got my parents that Storyworth kit for recording their memories of family life. That's the kind of record where you get the flavor of day to day life. I think it would be interesting to do some kind of family journal / memory book about covid.

My parents had me late, and I interviewed my grandmother (who was the only grandparent still alive at the time) about the 1918 pandemic and the Great Depression. She was a child during the pandemic and everyone in her house was sick, so she got herself ready, went to school and then remembers not feeling well and passing out. The teacher had to alert the local authorities, and their whole house was placed on "quarantine" until the public health department certified they were well, they would be arrested if they left home, much like modern day China during Covid. Since they lived in an area that had a large military base, they didn't want any disruptions, so everyone who was sick was forced to stay home and had a flyer posted out front to that affect. You would be informed upon if you didn't. There was no publicity, because there was an information lock down during WW1.
That would not have gone over well in the 21st century.

I think the disabilities from Long Covid, essentially an autoimmune type of illness, will end up affecting the available workforce as people have multiple cases of Covid over time. I already have one "anti masker" friend who is on FMLA because she is so exhausted after two bouts of Covid, even though she did have the vaccines; she can only work half a week at most before she collapses.

[Anonymous]

No because nobody cares about parenting or the burden on parents. Because it destroyed many women's careers, yes, but we are considered disposable so not really interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No because nobody cares about parenting or the burden on parents. Because it destroyed many women's careers, yes, but we are considered disposable so not really interesting.

No, because it did not have nearly the equivalent catastrophic impact on a national and global scale as the Great Depression.

[Anonymous]

This was three years ago. Your kids should be older. Why have you not moved on?

Like everyone else, there were times I wanted to pull my hair out, get divorced, etc. each member of our family had a few meltdowns. When I think back, I remember more good times than bad. We read, we baked, we watched every tv show and movie we could watch, we hiked and biked.

You must be unwell to still be thinking about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was three years ago. Your kids should be older. Why have you not moved on?

Like everyone else, there were times I wanted to pull my hair out, get divorced, etc. each member of our family had a few meltdowns. When I think back, I remember more good times than bad. We read, we baked, we watched every tv show and movie we could watch, we hiked and biked.

You must be unwell to still be thinking about this.

Or....have suffered trauma. It's very normal to continue thinking about trauma long after the fact.

Try to get some empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When someone is reasonably upset about something, want to know how to make it extremely hard for them to move on from it?

Refuse to listen to them when they want to talk about why they are upset, the difficulties they faced, or how it's impacting them now. Gaslight them. Tell them it wasn't really a big deal and that they are overreacting and overemotional. Tell them whatever it was wasn't as bad as some things other people sometimes experience. Every time the express anger or frustration about it, tell them to "please just move on!"

I once read that the reason two people can experience the same thing and one will get through it okay and the other will wind up with PTSD is how much support they get for processing the event and moving through it. The less support you get, the harder it is to process it. The more people deny or minimize your experience, the harder it is to move on because you are having to justify your feelings of grief, anger, sadness, and loss over and over again, to yourself and others.

One group who has been told from the beginning of the pandemic to suck it up, not complain, and "move on"? The parents, and especially mothers, of young children who had to drop everything (sometimes including jobs or mental well being) in March 2020 and were last in line for getting some semblance of normalcy back.

Yes, thank you for this. I often wonder if the reason this sticks in my head so much is because of the incredible lack of caring from other people. It was often vicious and often misogynist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was three years ago. Your kids should be older. Why have you not moved on?

Like everyone else, there were times I wanted to pull my hair out, get divorced, etc. each member of our family had a few meltdowns. When I think back, I remember more good times than bad. We read, we baked, we watched every tv show and movie we could watch, we hiked and biked.

You must be unwell to still be thinking about this.

Or....have suffered trauma. It's very normal to continue thinking about trauma long after the fact.

Try to get some empathy.

OP is acting as if she is the only one to have undergone any kind of suffering during the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Whether or not it goes down in history with the weight and importance you experienced it as seems less important than the validation and support we should be affording one another as fellow parents and human beings.

In reading the threads, lots of parents and kids experienced a tremendous amount of hardship, stress and loss. People’s experiences, perspectives, circumstances and traumas both vary widely and share common threads.

Personally, when I think back to the early days of the pandemic, I remember the solidarity and support that “we are all in this together.” Although we were scared and isolated, there was a sense of belonging, purpose and compassion that transcended the loneliness of those early days.

For me, one of the hardest pills to swallow as things dragged on, was the emergence of a more selfish, less compassionate way of relating to others that was unleashed and remains. Perhaps this arose from the trauma of it all, but it seems we can do better in how we relate to each other.

This thread has been disappointing in how people dismiss and minimize other’s experiences rather than offering support or just compassionate validation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the pandemic really has made me fundamentally not trust schools. I don't know how to let it go. I didn't move during the pandemic for an open school (because I was actually financially ruined), but I still feel the need to move to just find a different school district. Just to get a cleaner slate.

Trust isn't something that is easy to get back once it has been ruined.

Same, I don't trust schools and I have lost the ability to believe that anyone associated with a school actually has a vested interest in my children.

It's really altered my perception of teachers. It's not that I don't appreciate what they do, I do. But I have limited capacity to believe that they, as a group, are invested in the well being of children. I think individual teachers may be invested in certain groups of kids. But I don't view the teaching profession as focused on the well-being of children. I think teacher's unions and educational organizations exist primarily for their own benefit, and if children benefit that's a nice side effect but not necessary for them to accomplish their goals.

I work in healthcare and think about how I and others took seriously our oaths to protect and care for our patients during the single biggest healthcare crisis of my lifetime. I simply do not see that same dedication or willingness to sacrifice on the part of teachers. They looked out for themselves and while I guess you can't fault them for that (most people did), coming from another helping profession where I don't think we put ourselves first at all, it was somewhat shocking to me to realize this.

Yeah, it was pretty shocking just how little teachers and the teachers' unions cared about schoolchildren. You become a teacher because, presumably, you have an interest in the wellbeing of children, at least as one factor. And yet, teachers were the biggest obstruction to getting kids back into schools. If it had been left to the teachers in places like the DC area and California, schools would have remained virtual through 2022.

Before the pandemic, we were pretty engaged with our school community. Now, we're mostly checked out. We didn't even re-up our membership with the PTA.

This. I’m a “front line” public service worker and would loved to have skipped my commute, saved on gas, and only done a few hours a day of abridged work, but I took an oath and had a job to do. Teachers, schools, EVERYONE, failed our children. I don’t ever want to hear another teacher complaining about one child who virtual schooled during the pandemic who is behind academically or socially. It is YOUR fault. Hope you enjoyed your easy ride. Our kids have paid the price.

I thought teachers did an amazing job for my kids. Overnight they turned to a virtual model of education. That meant figuring out new ways to teach lessons and monitor kids’ progress and wellbeing. That’s impressive in and of itself. But in addition, they were dealing with IT issues and kids who developed emotional issues that spilled over into the educational environment. And many had their own kids and no childcare.

In my sons special education program he went from being able to learn in a small group environment to needing 2:1 services - subject matter and para. So that’s what he got without even having to change the IEP. They scheduled those 2:1 services around my sons needs and preferences. They did home visits. With my daughter, every time she fell behind or seemed out of sorts the principal or counselor would call me and together we’d get her back on track. When the deadline hit for completing the return in person application and I hadn’t done it, the principal called me and stayed on the phone with me until it was done and instead of every other week, my daughter was allowed to attend in person full time.

I have nothing but admiration for the teachers.

+1000

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the pandemic really has made me fundamentally not trust schools. I don't know how to let it go. I didn't move during the pandemic for an open school (because I was actually financially ruined), but I still feel the need to move to just find a different school district. Just to get a cleaner slate.

Trust isn't something that is easy to get back once it has been ruined.

Same, I don't trust schools and I have lost the ability to believe that anyone associated with a school actually has a vested interest in my children.

It's really altered my perception of teachers. It's not that I don't appreciate what they do, I do. But I have limited capacity to believe that they, as a group, are invested in the well being of children. I think individual teachers may be invested in certain groups of kids. But I don't view the teaching profession as focused on the well-being of children. I think teacher's unions and educational organizations exist primarily for their own benefit, and if children benefit that's a nice side effect but not necessary for them to accomplish their goals.

I work in healthcare and think about how I and others took seriously our oaths to protect and care for our patients during the single biggest healthcare crisis of my lifetime. I simply do not see that same dedication or willingness to sacrifice on the part of teachers. They looked out for themselves and while I guess you can't fault them for that (most people did), coming from another helping profession where I don't think we put ourselves first at all, it was somewhat shocking to me to realize this.

Yeah, it was pretty shocking just how little teachers and the teachers' unions cared about schoolchildren. You become a teacher because, presumably, you have an interest in the wellbeing of children, at least as one factor. And yet, teachers were the biggest obstruction to getting kids back into schools. If it had been left to the teachers in places like the DC area and California, schools would have remained virtual through 2022.

Before the pandemic, we were pretty engaged with our school community. Now, we're mostly checked out. We didn't even re-up our membership with the PTA.

This. I’m a “front line” public service worker and would loved to have skipped my commute, saved on gas, and only done a few hours a day of abridged work, but I took an oath and had a job to do. Teachers, schools, EVERYONE, failed our children. I don’t ever want to hear another teacher complaining about one child who virtual schooled during the pandemic who is behind academically or socially. It is YOUR fault. Hope you enjoyed your easy ride. Our kids have paid the price.

BS. You are irrationally hating on teachers for something out of their control. Sit down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was three years ago. Your kids should be older. Why have you not moved on?

Like everyone else, there were times I wanted to pull my hair out, get divorced, etc. each member of our family had a few meltdowns. When I think back, I remember more good times than bad. We read, we baked, we watched every tv show and movie we could watch, we hiked and biked.

You must be unwell to still be thinking about this.

Or....have suffered trauma. It's very normal to continue thinking about trauma long after the fact.

Try to get some empathy.

OP is acting as if she is the only one to have undergone any kind of suffering during the pandemic.

I don't think she's acting like the ONLY one. But just because she's currently engaged in some suffering Olympics with other posters doesn't mean she didn't, in fact, experience trauma. Certainly sounds like she did.

[Anonymous]

I have total empathy for OP's situation. That sounds very tough. Also for parents generally, particularly moms, in the DMV during 2020/2021.

However, it's a bit of a niche situation. We left the DMV for another area in the US and our school/daycare situation was totally different. My kids were a little older so our "lockdown" time was more enjoyable. My work was always remote so no big transition there. But, that brief time of virtual school was brutal so very glad that only lasted three months.

Which is all to say that it won't get tons of mention in history books. Maybe a footnote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was three years ago. Your kids should be older. Why have you not moved on?

Like everyone else, there were times I wanted to pull my hair out, get divorced, etc. each member of our family had a few meltdowns. When I think back, I remember more good times than bad. We read, we baked, we watched every tv show and movie we could watch, we hiked and biked.

You must be unwell to still be thinking about this.

Or....have suffered trauma. It's very normal to continue thinking about trauma long after the fact.

Try to get some empathy.

OP is acting as if she is the only one to have undergone any kind of suffering during the pandemic.

I don't think she's acting like the ONLY one. But just because she's currently engaged in some suffering Olympics with other posters doesn't mean she didn't, in fact, experience trauma. Certainly sounds like she did.

But she’s minimizing or putting down others experiences. It’s just me, me, me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I've ever seen any articles about parenting during the Great Depression. Probably because what we call "parenting" is a modern construct. Back then, most people just had kids. Feed them, raised them, and off they went. The End.

+1 If you have the luxury to frame something as to how it affected your parenting for four months, it probably wasn’t that bad (for you) in the grand scheme of things.

COVID impacted your parenting for only 4 months?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone is reasonably upset about something, want to know how to make it extremely hard for them to move on from it?

Refuse to listen to them when they want to talk about why they are upset, the difficulties they faced, or how it's impacting them now. Gaslight them. Tell them it wasn't really a big deal and that they are overreacting and overemotional. Tell them whatever it was wasn't as bad as some things other people sometimes experience. Every time the express anger or frustration about it, tell them to "please just move on!"

I once read that the reason two people can experience the same thing and one will get through it okay and the other will wind up with PTSD is how much support they get for processing the event and moving through it. The less support you get, the harder it is to process it. The more people deny or minimize your experience, the harder it is to move on because you are having to justify your feelings of grief, anger, sadness, and loss over and over again, to yourself and others.

One group who has been told from the beginning of the pandemic to suck it up, not complain, and "move on"? The parents, and especially mothers, of young children who had to drop everything (sometimes including jobs or mental well being) in March 2020 and were last in line for getting some semblance of normalcy back.

Yes, thank you for this. I often wonder if the reason this sticks in my head so much is because of the incredible lack of caring from other people. It was often vicious and often misogynist.

+2 The PP described why the pandemic has been so difficult for me. I don't want to revisit or blame anyone for decisions, but I can't get past how little compassion was shown for those who struggled. Believe it or not, some of us are continuing to "move past it," dealing with fall out from lost income, lost experiences, and long-term mental health issues.