5 yr old (early oct bday), how to get her in 1st grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:is there anyway around this rule? my dd will be 5 yrs old this October and starting kindergarten at a Montessori. Is there anyway I can get here started in 1st grade October 2024? I've heard we go to court to sign off, someone else said there is a test. Does anyone actually know what to do ? Thank you!!

So, I get that families who struggle with money might be willing to trade off the huge benefits of being the oldest in their grade for money. I don't judge them.

But starting her in Kindergarten or First in public school will cost the same. Are you desperate to get her out of the house 18 years from now? Do you dislike her? Because this has nothing but downsides for your child. The research is crystal clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not do this. Think about middle school and high school. Such a disadvantage. They get into all the things their peers get into but your DD will be a full year younger than a good number of her classmates and in general, the youngest one in the whole class. Just no.

+1 it’s a short-sighted move, yes you’d save some $$ now but it’s not worth the potential issues in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:is there anyway around this rule? my dd will be 5 yrs old this October and starting kindergarten at a Montessori. Is there anyway I can get here started in 1st grade October 2024? I've heard we go to court to sign off, someone else said there is a test. Does anyone actually know what to do ? Thank you!!

So, I get that families who struggle with money might be willing to trade off the huge benefits of being the oldest in their grade for money. I don't judge them.

But starting her in Kindergarten or First in public school will cost the same. Are you desperate to get her out of the house 18 years from now? Do you dislike her? Because this has nothing but downsides for your child. The research is crystal clear.

"why

+1 Former teacher with 12 years in first and K. Also, I know some who did this and regretted it when the kid reached high school. One friend said: "why didn't anybody tell me about high school?"

Some people think that because their child is bright that this will help them. There are many bright kids who are not mature enough. I've also taught kids with learning issues who were quite mature--and an extra year would not have helped them.

Of course, there are exceptions, but my experience tells me that there is no downside to starting when the cutoff says.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not do this. Think about middle school and high school. Such a disadvantage. They get into all the things their peers get into but your DD will be a full year younger than a good number of her classmates and in general, the youngest one in the whole class. Just no.

It’s this. I have one in middle and one in high school and we can’t explain how rough those years are. None of my worries are academic. All of my concerns are things I never imagined. Peers are doing drugs, sex, driving and then there’s the internet/cells and all that they entail. I never thought I’d worry about using certain school bathrooms but here we are.

I am very glad my middle school daughter has a fall birthday and is one of the oldest in the grade. It makes things slightly easier.

[Anonymous]

6:41 back. And also the biggie. The mental health issues. You hear about it in the news but it’s more common that you think with teens. Even if it’s not your kid, it will affect someone they know. Kids are dealing with heavy stuff. Don’t make it all happen a year sooner.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't have an answer for you on whether pushing ahead is the correct choice for your child. But, to address some of the PPs who were concerned about college. I have an October b-day in a district where the cutoff was 12/31, so I started college at 17 and it was fine. I think it likely is easier to have a child start college at 17 than it is to have a child who turns 18 at the start of their senior year of HS and then you have to parent a legal adult through a full year of HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, right now you are deciding whether or not your three year old should start K early? Did I get that right?

No. No, you did not get that right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was my child 15 years ago. DD attended a private K before we moved to Fairfax County. When I enrolled her in FCPS, the school registered her for K but made a note that she needed an assessment by the reading specialist. That happened in August. Based on the assessment, the specialist made a recommendation to the principal, who had final say. In our case, the principal approved a 1st grade placement and DD was moved to an appropriate class.

I have no idea if that is still a possibility. I do know that not all schools did it; it was completely at the discretion of the individual principal.

My child was in Montessori with an early October birthday. She was assessed by the school and they placed her her first. She is in 11th grade now and it has worked very well for her. She would have been bored throughout school if she wasn’t moved up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6:41 back. And also the biggie. The mental health issues. You hear about it in the news but it’s more common that you think with teens. Even if it’s not your kid, it will affect someone they know. Kids are dealing with heavy stuff. Don’t make it all happen a year sooner.

Being old for your grade can also cause social and mental health issues. They can feel out of place and not find their group.

[Anonymous]

The redshirting crowd is strong on DCUM - they do not see nuance or understand personalities differ. They think being the oldest is best but the other kids definitely think redshirted kids are odd for being so much older than everyone else and it leads to some social challenges. And parents seems very confused when their old kid still isn’t the best in sports or academics.

[Anonymous]

In Fairfax you can do 2 years of private then switch to public after that with a birthday like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The redshirting crowd is strong on DCUM - they do not see nuance or understand personalities differ. They think being the oldest is best but the other kids definitely think redshirted kids are odd for being so much older than everyone else and it leads to some social challenges. And parents seems very confused when their old kid still isn’t the best in sports or academics.

For boys, I really haven’t seen it be a problem being on the older end of the grade. I have seen it be a huge problem being on the younger side.

For girls, it is not so obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t - everyone red shirts their boys so she’ll be in class with kids two full years older than her.

what does this mean? "red shirt"

It means they think all parents of boys are holding back their kids a year to make it easier on the parents or to get them in a fancy private. Not true at all.

Oooorrrr because their kid has ADHD and they'd rather give them a year of growth and maturity because it's not really about Kindergarten/1st readiness AT ALL it's about 4th grade, it's about middle school, high school, college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think about your child going away to college a year earlier than necessary. Do you really want that?

Also think about your child graduating college a year later than necessary

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do it. My November BD kid started K on time, turning 6 shortly after the school year started. He was reading, writes full sentences, does 2nd and 3rd grade math - but also he’s happy and social. There is plenty to learn in K that is not academic.

Where does he write full sentences and do 2nd and 3rd grade math?