Do you take family vacations and not bring all your kids?

[Anonymous]

I had first heard someone do this when the mom took her two teenage daughters away and left younger kids home with dad.

I have a big gap between my older 2 and youngest (6 year gap). I have taken my older kids on an international trip and left a toddler at home with dad. DH has taken older 2 kids skiing multiple times and left baby/toddler home with me. I have taken the younger one to visit my family and left older kids home so they could go to school. I have taken youbgest to Disney solo during low peak time and left older kids in school since youbgest had never been to Disney and older kids have been multiple times.

[Anonymous]

I only see this in families with a huge age gap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We haven't done this, but we've debated it. Our younger son really doesn't enjoy travel. He's a homebody and at this age (15) really wants to be around his friends. When he travels, he's constantly asking when we're going home and is just generally out of sorts. Doesn't matter where we go - city or beach. We're going on a trip this summer and I am a bit nervous to bring him. I want him to have fun and be with us as a family, but I am not sure he really wants to - even though he says he does.

My only is a bit like that. I’ve been letting myself visit family without him and it’s been liberating! Sometimes I bring him but not always and not to every relative

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. But I have 4 kids. Each child gets their own trip and then we do girls only, or boys only. We take 2 major family vacations each year with everyone.

It works for us.

Given your wealth, does each kid have their own nanny too?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who does this. She says it’s too difficult for her to have both sons and DH with her and she went to visit her mom only bringing one kid and alternating years. Her sons don’t get along that well so that’s a contributing factor.
I am in favor of any arrangement that everyone enjoys, even if it looks weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

I don’t think he would enjoy it anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

It wouldn’t be so weird if she didn’t make daily over-the-top posts about her perfect family and what amazing (luxury$$$) trip they are having minus their child. And I know for sure she doesn’t take him. They have an immigrant woman they pay to watch him when they travel. She also takes care of him pretty much any time he’s not at school so as not to “disrupt” their family life.

1) Lots of people post daily, over-the-top photos while on their "amazing" locations. It's mildly annoying, sure, but this seems to bother you more, somehow.

2) Can you elaborate on why identifying the disabled child's caregiver as an "immigrant" is relevant?

[Anonymous]

I have done one on one trips with my two non-neurotypical kids. The other one stays home with DH. They enjoy the solo trips much more (as do I) as they have very different interests and temperaments. And one kid chose not to go on a trip the rest of us were doing and wanted to stay home with grandparents. When we can find a trip that everyone will at least partially enjoy we do that. This is what works for our family. No one is excluded and the kids are given a choice about whether to go or not. I don’t see any reason to drag everyone on a trip that they don’t want and I can’t force the kids to enjoy certain things. I’d love for them to be more flexible and compromise but we need to meet them where they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

It wouldn’t be so weird if she didn’t make daily over-the-top posts about her perfect family and what amazing (luxury$$$) trip they are having minus their child. And I know for sure she doesn’t take him. They have an immigrant woman they pay to watch him when they travel. She also takes care of him pretty much any time he’s not at school so as not to “disrupt” their family life.

1) Lots of people post daily, over-the-top photos while on their "amazing" locations. It's mildly annoying, sure, but this seems to bother you more, somehow.

2) Can you elaborate on why identifying the disabled child's caregiver as an "immigrant" is relevant?

1. It’s extra fake coming from her, knowing the full story and the image she is trying to project.

2. While she is off staying at $2k/night resorts drinking $30 cocktails her son is being cared for by a woman making $18/hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

It wouldn’t be so weird if she didn’t make daily over-the-top posts about her perfect family and what amazing (luxury$$$) trip they are having minus their child. And I know for sure she doesn’t take him. They have an immigrant woman they pay to watch him when they travel. She also takes care of him pretty much any time he’s not at school so as not to “disrupt” their family life.

1) Lots of people post daily, over-the-top photos while on their "amazing" locations. It's mildly annoying, sure, but this seems to bother you more, somehow.

2) Can you elaborate on why identifying the disabled child's caregiver as an "immigrant" is relevant?

1. It’s extra fake coming from her, knowing the full story and the image she is trying to project.

2. While she is off staying at $2k/night resorts drinking $30 cocktails her son is being cared for by a woman making $18/hour.

1. Got it. Families with special needs, medically complex, disabled, etc. children shouldn't show pictures of the family having fun.

2. Still not seeing how the immigrant status is relevant here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

It wouldn’t be so weird if she didn’t make daily over-the-top posts about her perfect family and what amazing (luxury$$$) trip they are having minus their child. And I know for sure she doesn’t take him. They have an immigrant woman they pay to watch him when they travel. She also takes care of him pretty much any time he’s not at school so as not to “disrupt” their family life.

1) Lots of people post daily, over-the-top photos while on their "amazing" locations. It's mildly annoying, sure, but this seems to bother you more, somehow.

2) Can you elaborate on why identifying the disabled child's caregiver as an "immigrant" is relevant?

1. It’s extra fake coming from her, knowing the full story and the image she is trying to project.

2. While she is off staying at $2k/night resorts drinking $30 cocktails her son is being cared for by a woman making $18/hour.

1. Got it. Families with special needs, medically complex, disabled, etc. children shouldn't show pictures of the family having fun.

2. Still not seeing how the immigrant status is relevant here.

It’s ok. Your comprehension (or not) is of no consequence to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

It wouldn’t be so weird if she didn’t make daily over-the-top posts about her perfect family and what amazing (luxury$$$) trip they are having minus their child. And I know for sure she doesn’t take him. They have an immigrant woman they pay to watch him when they travel. She also takes care of him pretty much any time he’s not at school so as not to “disrupt” their family life.

1) Lots of people post daily, over-the-top photos while on their "amazing" locations. It's mildly annoying, sure, but this seems to bother you more, somehow.

2) Can you elaborate on why identifying the disabled child's caregiver as an "immigrant" is relevant?

1. It’s extra fake coming from her, knowing the full story and the image she is trying to project.

2. While she is off staying at $2k/night resorts drinking $30 cocktails her son is being cared for by a woman making $18/hour.

What do you think the going rate is for a babysitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you choose which kids to take on vacation and which to leave behind?

Rich people problems. Like, how do you choose which of your many Rolls Royces to drive? F.U. lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

It wouldn’t be so weird if she didn’t make daily over-the-top posts about her perfect family and what amazing (luxury$$$) trip they are having minus their child. And I know for sure she doesn’t take him. They have an immigrant woman they pay to watch him when they travel. She also takes care of him pretty much any time he’s not at school so as not to “disrupt” their family life.

1) Lots of people post daily, over-the-top photos while on their "amazing" locations. It's mildly annoying, sure, but this seems to bother you more, somehow.

2) Can you elaborate on why identifying the disabled child's caregiver as an "immigrant" is relevant?

1. It’s extra fake coming from her, knowing the full story and the image she is trying to project.

2. While she is off staying at $2k/night resorts drinking $30 cocktails her son is being cared for by a woman making $18/hour.

It's weird that you are so fixated on this family with a disabled kid. You seem to want the whole family to suffer. Why is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

It wouldn’t be so weird if she didn’t make daily over-the-top posts about her perfect family and what amazing (luxury$$$) trip they are having minus their child. And I know for sure she doesn’t take him. They have an immigrant woman they pay to watch him when they travel. She also takes care of him pretty much any time he’s not at school so as not to “disrupt” their family life.

1) Lots of people post daily, over-the-top photos while on their "amazing" locations. It's mildly annoying, sure, but this seems to bother you more, somehow.

2) Can you elaborate on why identifying the disabled child's caregiver as an "immigrant" is relevant?

1. It’s extra fake coming from her, knowing the full story and the image she is trying to project.

2. While she is off staying at $2k/night resorts drinking $30 cocktails her son is being cared for by a woman making $18/hour.

1. Got it. Families with special needs, medically complex, disabled, etc. children shouldn't show pictures of the family having fun.

2. Still not seeing how the immigrant status is relevant here.

Of all the things to judge, I would not judge a family vacationing without their SN child.

I have a friend with a SN child and they usually take the SN with them and it is miserable for all.

I have another friend with only one child and that child is SN. They usually leave him with their parents and the couple travels alone. I guess the difference is they don’t post a million pictures. I don’t know if it makes it ok that only the couple is having a good vacation vs a family of 4 minus the SN child.